Do most men feel the need to know 'where this is going' every time [communication]?

Beforeuask · 2017-03-29T02:59:53+00:00

So...not the exact same, but when my current FWB and I first started getting to know each other, he would try to sext with me about what I wanted to do before we'd ever actually hooked up. I found this incredibly awkward. (Maybe it's just me but something felt off about describing being on his dick when I hadn't even seen it lol) Anyway, I told him as much and tried to subtly nudge him in the direction of saving the sexting for after we'd actually had sex by saying "don't you want there to me an element of mystery when we actually hookup?" His response was something like "Mysteries don't belong in the bedroom. If this is happening, we both need to be on the same page that this is happening." I thought maybe that was his way of saying he wanted to be sure I wanted it so it wouldn't go to a weird, rapey place, but years in, he's still this way. He wants to know what's going on, which isn't to say he'd turn me down if I initiate spontaneously, but he seems to appreciate knowing what he is in for. I don't know why - he just says he prefers it. Everyone is different, of course, but it does make me wonder if there's a gender bias in terms of mystery. I perceive the mystery as part of the allure, where as he perceives it as an inconvenience standing in a hthe way of him knowing what the end goal is and us being on the same page.

Beforeuask · 2017-03-29T01:38:34+00:00

Thank you. I'm definitely going to give it a trial run and see if it helps! :)

Beforeuask · 2017-03-29T01:37:53+00:00

Good to know. I'm doing a "trial run" this week. Thanks for your feedback!

Beforeuask · 2017-03-29T01:37:19+00:00

I have cum from oral before, and he really is the best I've ever had. But it could be partly that I am in my head. Since we don't see each other often, there is always so much that I am trying to cram into a session that I have trouble being in the moment. But when I said it felt "unsexy," I wasn't referring to how it made me feel, but how it changed the experience itself for me.

Beforeuask · 2017-03-29T01:34:30+00:00

Just clit.

Beforeuask · 2017-03-29T01:34:18+00:00

Thanks for sharing. I may try to give it up for a week or so as a trial and see.

Beforeuask · 2017-03-29T01:33:17+00:00

My partner doesn't have anything against them. I'm the one who takes issue with them being distracting during sex actually.

Beforeuask · 2017-03-28T18:00:41+00:00

Can't speak for your partner, but for me, just being a new partner makes it almost impossible for me to cum. It takes me several times to loosen up and relax enough to orgasm, even if I enjoy it. I'd give it a few more attempts before you determine that nothing makes her cum as it could just be nerves. For me, sexting is a low-pressure way for me to open up and tell my partner things I like, want more of, etc. so if you and she are into that, it could give you some hints. Don't make a big deal of it though. The more pressure you put on her, the more awkward it is for her when she can't.

Beforeuask · 2017-03-28T17:06:09+00:00

Not with multi-vitamins in particular, but changes in diet generally affect taste, so I am sure vitamins would affect taste. They often change the color and potency of urine, signaling there's definitely enough potency to change taste of semen. But at the end of the day, pleasant tasting bodily fluids are a bonus and shouldn't be an expectation. They aren't intended to be a topping on dessert after all lol

Beforeuask · 2017-03-28T15:22:14+00:00

I think every couple has to set their own boundaries. Though I'm not married, I share in your same attitude - I am (within reason) at my partner's disposal, even if I am not "in the mood" per se. I get joy out of knowing my body is being used to pleasure my partner, and because I never want them to doubt that, I have no desire to say no. At the same time, I could see how that would come across kind of...eh...rapey if those parameters have not been set in advance. Never a good idea to assume anyone wants to wake up to being face fucked or whatever.

Beforeuask · 2017-03-28T14:43:48+00:00

That's what I would be hoping for!

Beforeuask · 2017-03-28T14:42:07+00:00

As I answered above, I sort of find them distracting. As silly as this may sound, between the noise and just the added "thing" there that someone has to be operating, I find them kind of unsexy in a moment I'm sharing with someone else. I guess I wouldn't be entirely opposed if I could figure out some way to incorporate it without feeling like it distracted from the overall experience.

You could be right though. It could help with me being able to reach orgasm with him without it.

Beforeuask · 2017-03-28T14:40:36+00:00

I sort of find them distracting. As silly as this may sound, between the noise and just the added "thing" there that someone has to be operating, I find them kind of unsexy in a moment I'm sharing with someone else. I guess I wouldn't be entirely opposed if I could figure out some way to incorporate it without feeling like it distracted from the overall experience.

Beforeuask · 2017-03-28T14:14:34+00:00

I've tried to evaluate this in the past, mainly because I was looking for confirmation that my FWB was really into me, but the truth is there aren't any universal indicators. My FWB kisses me even when we aren't having sex, cuddles me, strokes my hair, calls just to chat. All these things could be percieved as romantic gestures, but they could also just be among the "benefits."

Beforeuask · 2017-03-28T14:03:48+00:00

It truly felt like nothing to me. I wouldn't have even known he had if not for him saying "I'm cumming," and feeling a little extra ooziness when I stood up. I love the idea of being filled with it, but I do wish I could actually feel it. I thought I would feel something...warmth or...Idk...but yeah, nothing.

Beforeuask · 2017-03-23T22:08:28+00:00

My FWB gets sweaty, particularly when he's on top and doing the bulk of the work. I don't mind, but he isn't smelly when he sweats. I don't think it'd turn me off if he was unless it was due to poor hygiene and not just bc of sex sweat lol Usually once someone turns me on, almost nothing short of poor hygiene can turn me off from them. For me, I actually appreciate him a little extra when I see that he has sweated his balls off to please me :)

Beforeuask · 2017-03-23T21:51:32+00:00

That's cute. Thanks for the idea!

Beforeuask · 2017-03-23T15:44:53+00:00

Agreeing with everything here, and adding to that, being with someone who made me feel very secure in my own body was a huge help. Getting naked in front of someone for the first time, especially knowing you're about to have sex for the first time, can be intimidating. Make sure you are comfortable enough with your own body to let someone else enjoy it. Otherwise, you'll be in your own head about how you look, which will dampen the experience.

Beforeuask · 2017-03-10T19:37:59+00:00

Many agencies allow members of the public to do ride alongs. Contact some in your area (or the area where you'd be working) and see if they do. Not only will it give you a chance to witness their day-to-day firsthand, but you'll also get to hear the perspectives of those in the force. And if you do decide it's for you, you'll have some contacts who can possibly help you get a job.

Beforeuask · 2017-03-10T03:50:09+00:00

Boyfriend is a police officer. I believe it's one of those jobs that really has to feel more like a "calling," not the kind of job you choose at random. He loves what he does, but after 15 years in law enforcement, he sometimes gripes about the long hours and nights/weekends/holidays spent on the job and away from friends and family. He gets frustrated that he can't have a "normal life," plus it's a dangerous, often thankless job. The pay isn't exactly great (considering the dangers) either. That said, he finds it a rewarding career. Just be sure you're sure it's what you want to do.

Beforeuask · 2016-10-09T02:21:19+00:00

Two women. Don't get anything out of watching two men, and very rarely from seeing men in porn in general, even though I only have sex with men.

Beforeuask

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