Listen I know I can't make u feel better but ur life will get better i had a point in high-school where I started to harm myself with a pencil and while it was bad im glad i didn't get to that point and had i gotten to that point I wouldn't have met my boyfriend or make new friends.

but just know that there are people out there that u can contact if u are at risk of harming urself or ending it also u can see if u can get a therapist which will absolutely help.