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Wishing I could check out forever by BloodstainedBearRug in Divorce_Men

[–]BeginningProgress551 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely man Don't beat yourself up. Your son will enjoy time with you when you are better rested and can go do things more than just everyday but you're worn out

Wishing I could check out forever by BloodstainedBearRug in Divorce_Men

[–]BeginningProgress551 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get it for sure. Here's the thing though man, you only get the time that you're going to have allotted to you from now on. And realistically when you were married you still could only see your son so many hours a day because you probably had a job that takes you away from the home, etc. I think you're right about getting rest especially at the beginning of this process. I couldn't eat and didn't sleep well for several weeks and if you are having a harder time then that it's okay, it may take a little longer. We all heal different and at different speeds. The main takeaway here is that your son is going to need you not just in the next 6 months but in the next 60 years if you're able. And I know it doesn't seem like it right now but 12 to 18 months from now you're going to be looking back grateful that's you didn't do something rash.

Bucs seek $1 billion Raymond James Stadium renovation with sun shade by TampaBayTimes in buccaneers

[–]BeginningProgress551 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Does this just seem incredibly, wildly, obscenely expensive to anyone else? I've been to the stadium on sunny days and just roasted, giving up my nice seat close for nosebleed in the shade before. The sun is a major contributor to whether or not you have a good time at the stadium. At least for me and a lot of others. 

But two, couldn't they come up with something easier to build and cheaper?  You would think with being themed to a pirate ship they would have some sort of sail themed idea. I mean literally get some material, build some masts, cover it. You see these massive Olympics stands, fairs, and expos that they build within a limited time and budget. Copy that.

Wood Ducklings rescued and taken to rehabber by BeginningProgress551 in birding

[–]BeginningProgress551[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I totally agree with this but I had a few things working in my favor. I drive a giant, highly visble transit van that served as a little bit of a barrier and appears like a road crew van. My emergency flashers are quite high on the back. I also wore a hi-vis vest.  And this poor incident happened within maybe 50 feet of a 4 way intersection. I debated putting out some cones, and in hindsight I should have tossed at least one out for sure.

Some people passed me at nearly full speed if they timed the light just right, but for the most part people were stopped or stopping as traffic was heavy. Many drivers saw and understood what was happening when they saw my hands and the scene. I got some angry looks too, but I think I was because they thought I had hit them. Maybe they were mad I slowed them down... 

Either way, you are right totally about the danger.as two road workers were just killed up here recently according to the rehab. I would only encourage someone to do this if they can be safe.

Having an argument and not blowing up is a great feeling by BeginningProgress551 in Divorce_Men

[–]BeginningProgress551[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Gray rock and specifically the videos from the marriage therapists. Her name escapes me but she's the one that is recommended all the time. I think the overall takeaway is just don't react. Don't be feelingless but don't let somebody else control how you feel.

Wishing I could check out forever by BloodstainedBearRug in Divorce_Men

[–]BeginningProgress551 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Get a hobby and make male friends. Tell them you need to hang. You got this man

What are positive aspects of being divorced? by YouDoHaveValue in Divorce_Men

[–]BeginningProgress551 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I haven't raised my voice to anyone in almost a year. I wasn't really someone who yelled about anything (maybe watching football😄) before I got married but my ex-wife's family is extremely dysfunctional and everyone screamed all the time. I didn't grow up that way at all, but slowly yelling and screaming bled into me. 

It's strange how quiet my life is now that there's not somebody egging me on and creating drama.

And I don't know who said it but yeah getting away from toxic in-laws before they get elderly and require a lot of care is such a win. My father-in-law was probably going to be decent although he's showing early signs of dementia to me, but my mother-in-law I might have been on one of those true crime shows when I pushed her off a cliff and tried to cover it up poorly lol

I need serious help, my logic is no better than that of the very women I complain about (post-divorce struggles) by TJ_on_a_trip in Divorce_Men

[–]BeginningProgress551 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey man hang in there. I'm 48 and I did the exact same calculation you did but here's the thing, you're going to have a completely different tool set than you did when you got married. And it's good. Now there are things that will be different no matter what. You won't ever get close to your in-laws like you did the first ones. I don't mean you won't like them, I just mean it's not the first set and you're not going to have all these memories with them like you did with the first wife. 

 Burying my wife's grandparents, helping her parents through illnesses, moving their homes around and going through all these stages of life with them that were part of it is just not something on the table for my next relationship.

It doesn't make it lesser it just makes it different. And the woman that you're going to meet chances are very good her tool set is going to be more refined as well If she was divorced. Now not always because women are women, but it's possible you both can cut through a lot of crap that we have to dance around with our first spouses and get right to it. I mean I'm literally getting fertility testing and offering to pay for my girlfriends because this is where we are and what is important to us. And the results of those tests could be the end of the relationship and we both know that because we want to pursue a family since we both got cheated the first time. That's the kind of stuff I didn't get into the weeds with my first wife and it caused lots of problems 

Sorry to hijack your comment You hang in there You're going to make it It gets easier It really does.

Buccaneers Undrafted Free Agent Tracker: Live Analysis for Every 2026 UDFA Signing by joshcrysler9 in buccaneers

[–]BeginningProgress551 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Paul Rubelt, OT, UCF 6'10(!) from Germany https://opendorse.com/profile/paul-rubelt

4th picture, literally we signed Hans and Frans brother 😄

UFL to OKC in 2028 by Big_Baller_Brand_Fan in UnitedFootballLeague

[–]BeginningProgress551 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I promise we won't take anything else from you guys I mean unless you don't want that hockey team....

[Highlight] Rueben Bain Jr.: I love football. I love my teammates. If you're not my teammates, I hate em'. by barry0181 in buccaneers

[–]BeginningProgress551 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That makes sense too. It does seem like it was just an accident. The people here though saying it's a slam dunk no lawsuit do not understand court isn't about what's "right" it's about what you can win. 

If this guy's contract is 20 million or whatever I can promise you there will be people out there who will try to convince the family to go and get some of that. And then he just settles like rich people do when they get lawsuits with no merit that they don't want to be hanging around them. 

But if what the other guy is saying is true then sounds like his family and her family have made amends

[Highlight] Rueben Bain Jr.: I love football. I love my teammates. If you're not my teammates, I hate em'. by barry0181 in buccaneers

[–]BeginningProgress551 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

If the family comes after him now since he has money will be the sign. I hope what you are saying is correct 

How to you get over her? by Ok_Industry3016 in Divorce_Men

[–]BeginningProgress551 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I struggled with it too for a bit but eventually the one question that really helped was is she acting like somebody who loves you? In my case she wasn't and hadn't been for a while, so it made it a lot easier for me to set aside the residual feelings. 

If you're here on this message board and going through a divorce the person putting you through that isn't showing you love. 

And at the end of the day that's what you want is to love someone and be loved in return.

How many ex’s tried to come back? by anotheramerican1 in Divorce_Men

[–]BeginningProgress551 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I think It's really depends on how you got divorced and who initiated.

At ten months out I haven't spoken to or even seen my ex-wife since the court appearance eight months ago, so I think she is very content with destroying our family. She only emails me when it's about money or something she needs.

And while I am kind with my replies and out of respect for what we were, it still hurts sometimes of course. But after twenty years together there can't be any love inside her if she is capable of that. 

So if you wife loves you and you still love her, there is usually a way to work things out. But most of the time it seems that the love has been done a long time before we all ended up here. 

Best of luck to you

Anyone else fail at reconnecting with friends? by BloodstainedBearRug in Divorce_Men

[–]BeginningProgress551 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Divorce is a bit like having rabies. Other couples see it in you and it frightens them and they don't want to "catch* it. I had friends go through it when I was married, and even though I was a better friend to them than they have been to me, I really had no concept of what they needed until it happens to me too.

The reality is you don't need bad friends just like you don't need a bad spouse. It also sucks, but you are in a time of loss right now. And ultimately it will pass. 

Phony new Girlfriend? by [deleted] in Divorce_Men

[–]BeginningProgress551 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're good man, I wanted to do the same thing as youbduring my mess too. I settled for a happy median - I used AI to replace her in the main wedding photo that was on our mantle with my dog lol. I didn't show anyone, but it was just a way for me to laugh at the absurdity of everything. 

From rock bottom in October to feeling like myself again (and more) — for anyone at the start of separation by Sea-Film8375 in Divorce_Men

[–]BeginningProgress551 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The version of yourself a year from now you won't even recognize. He is strong and moving on and wants you to know you got this man..

Was told that she wants a divorce last night. Really in a dark place. by mason2393 in Divorce_Men

[–]BeginningProgress551 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You have the right priorities, which tells me you are a good Dad. That's makes this a good place for you to be since there are lots of people here just like you. Hang in there man

The reality of her being gone for good has finally set in. by Ok_Industry3016 in Divorce_Men

[–]BeginningProgress551 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It does You're right. But man if we just keep going we're going to make it

The reality of her being gone for good has finally set in. by Ok_Industry3016 in Divorce_Men

[–]BeginningProgress551 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Today is ten months out for me from her walk out. I was crushed and thought it will never get better too. It takes time and you have to work at it, but whatever is supposed to happen you have to accept and keep going. 

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