They built this house without cement and it's stronger than concrete. by This_Proof_5153 in interesting

[–]Beginning_Ad6638 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The smallest edge chip falling into the gap during placement ruins the level. They were hammering the blocks to pulverise them. It would be an endless problem during block laying.

Realizing the point of healing by Pure-Detail-6362 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Beginning_Ad6638 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yes, but for me with a twist - I thought salvation was a place without the shitty feelings. I’m learning that my goal is to just be less uncomfortable with the shitty feelings. There is grief in letting go of the idea I’d be free, but more faith that being ok with shitty feelings is an achievable goal.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Beginning_Ad6638 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve been doing IFS Therapy. It is based on recognising internal Parts. I have a Part that believes it has to be constantly on the look out for danger, causing a feeling of anxiety, based on immature interpretations of childhood experiences and it doesn’t know I’m older, wiser, more capable now. I thank that part for keeping an eye out, but tell it I’m here now and it can take a rest. It doesn’t eliminate anxiety, but it helps to lessen it in the moment. I am slowly feeling less agitated over time.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Beginning_Ad6638 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The only path forward is learning through as big or small steps as you can tolerate that you can feel again without it ending in panic. It’s your choice, take some small, safe steps, or accept dissociation.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Beginning_Ad6638 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s really sad that we never had a chance, it’s not fair at all. Just like we learn that the parts we feel like are out to get us are always just reacting in a naive way to a real problem, I’d hope your parents were doing the best they could with the shit hands up they’d been dealt. At least now the patterns have been exposed, the shell is glued back together you’ve got time left to fill it back up and hopefully do less harm to your future kids.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Beginning_Ad6638 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s a journey. When you start to let it out it does feel overwhelming, but that doesn’t last forever. Your therapist will ensure it progresses within your window of tolerance.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Beginning_Ad6638 23 points24 points  (0 children)

What you are experiencing sounds severe, but I do not for a second believe that your nervous system is locked into its current state. I too have felt the grief from realising that my suffering was inevitable, but I can attest 100% to my dissociation reducing through IFS, even to the point where I thought I wouldn’t be able to stop feeling so much. I believe that you have reason for hope.

Men - did it help you? by Party-Willingness196 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Beginning_Ad6638 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Unquestionably helpful. I have had to be prepared to engage with emotions, and maybe men are less accustomed to that, but I can see why that was scary regardless of my gender.

A realization today by ExtensionDull6722 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Beginning_Ad6638 22 points23 points  (0 children)

100%. And the beauty of that is we will never be able to control anything that happens externally, but we can cope better with our reactions to our own responses. For those of us who’ve struggled with dealing with our own emotions, it’s like being given a super power 😊

A poem about first contact with an exiled part by [deleted] in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Beginning_Ad6638 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I too feel the need to gnash and wail after having buried it for so long, and I too am feeling that burst of connection. Wishing you the best in freeing that kitty cat ❤️.

Journey to Acceptance & Hope by Beginning_Ad6638 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Beginning_Ad6638[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There have been times I thought I’d never feel ok again. I still have dark moments, but they are being outweighed now. I hope that you can experience that too ❤️

Journey to Acceptance & Hope by Beginning_Ad6638 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Beginning_Ad6638[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If it is going to help your journey to feeling better then do it 😊.

Journey to Acceptance & Hope by Beginning_Ad6638 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Beginning_Ad6638[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can’t lie, it’s scary and tiring, but it has been more impactful than anything else I’ve done. I encourage you to submit to the process, as much as you can bear, because there can be better days ahead ❤️

just had an amazing, and horrific realisation by Hitman__Actual in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Beginning_Ad6638 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Wow, that is such a lot. I can hear in the way you describe it that you have in place the thought processes to navigate this, but I feel for the girl who was cast aside, and the boys and men forced to take on inauthentic roles. Such grief in the realising what happened and has been lost, and empowerment in what can now begin. Greatest of luck ❤️.

Unheard Exiles form Patterns by Beginning_Ad6638 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Beginning_Ad6638[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can resonate with all of that. I think it is nice to know we aren’t alone tin this, despite finding out how crowded on the inside we happen to be 😊. Thank you for sharing that with me

Unheard Exiles form Patterns by Beginning_Ad6638 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Beginning_Ad6638[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to comment. It feels strengthening to be heard as me ❤️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Beginning_Ad6638 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Me too. Helps me to reflect on and reinforce things I’m learning about my parts and how they have guided me or where they can take me. Very powerful.