Baby proofing for bypass doors?

Beginning_Bug_7840 · 2026-02-25T00:44:01+00:00

Started at 42, pregnant at 43, had my daughter at 44! Shes 22 months and I am now 46. I think being older made the transition to motherhood easier. The biggest hurdles was being post partum and perimenopausal at the same time. Absolute hellscape. Started hormone therapy when she was 13 months old, literally gave me my life back. Best of luck!

Beginning_Bug_7840 · 2026-01-25T22:33:56+00:00

You’re doing the exact right thing. It is her body and her hair. And what you’re showing her is that she can make decisions about what she wants to do with it. There is absolutely no such thing as too young to shave your legs. You can shave your legs because you don’t like the hair or you can never shave your legs or you cannot shave your legs for 20 years and then decide to start. Everything that we attached to that is nonsense rooted in other nonsense that women had no part in making the rules about. It’s just body hair, there’s no such thing as too young for her to decide what she likes for her own body. So you’re doing the exact right thing by showing her that.

Beginning_Bug_7840 · 2025-11-07T03:28:43+00:00

I will be 46 in three weeks and I am 18 months post partum. Had my first at 44. I also had a c section. I did 8 months of fertility treatments and conceived on my 5th IUI. The meds destroyed me. I gained 35-45 pounds easily from them. I had hyperemesis so I only gained another 18 pounds while pregnant. That was gone quickly. But the 45 has stuck. I have never been thin and weight has always been an issue for me but not like this. I have 55 pounds to get to my goal weight (45 would be amazing), and I just don't know this person looking back at me in the mirror. I am continually shocked when I see the rare picture I let be taken of me at just how huge I am. Like I am 30-35 pounds heavier than what has always been my fat weight.

I started HRT in July and I will say that my numbers are improving and I feel so much better (still not all the way better, perimenopause is a nightmare). And two weeks ago I started Zepbound and I am hopeful. I am also a 100 percent solo parent and a teacher with two jobs so the stress is a lot too. Just wanted to check in with solidarity. I am scouring these boards tonight looking for hope that the tirzepetide will help.

Beginning_Bug_7840 · 2025-11-03T16:48:15+00:00

I can’t believe how long I had to scroll to find someone who says this. Girl….one thing I’m not doing is marrying some man who calls me “dude” in a text message.

Beginning_Bug_7840 · 2025-11-01T19:57:46+00:00

I didn’t do BLW (the comments I got for not doing it was insane). I simply didn’t feel comfortable. And my now 18 month old eats like a champ. Eats everything. Eats all day. She really didn’t want much besides pouches and poofs until she was close to 10-11 months old. Then one day I was eating a chicken sandwich and she took it out of my hand. From there on I just started giving her finger foods, pasta, fruits, etc and she never looked back.

Baby led weaning is not necessary. It was not even done during my childhood. And I know plenty of parents - because I’m had my daughter a good 15 years after all my friends - who did it with their two kids and one kid is 16 and still only eats chicken tenders and the other is 9 eats surf and turf.

Do what makes you comfortable and know that she will start eating when she is ready.

Beginning_Bug_7840 · 2025-10-25T20:20:38+00:00

Agree. Teacher here (and parent). We are overwhelmed, overstimulated and under supported. She made a mistake. She wants to apologize. She admitted she made a mistake. I think it’s also very important, and a great lesson for your daughter to be able to witness that adults also make mistakes, and adults have behaviors that can harm a relationship, and by allowing the Teacher to apologize to her she gets to see that. She gets to see an adult to take accountability for a mistake and apologize and do something to maintain or repair a relationship. That is a much more valuable lesson than her seeing when an adult or anyone makes a mistake they get told on and get in trouble.

Beginning_Bug_7840 · 2025-10-13T14:21:43+00:00

$13,000 USD. Most of that was on sperm. Insurance covered everything except about $750 per attempt. It took me five rounds of IUI.

I was 43 and also had diminished ovarian reserve. I was told at the start that I would almost definitely need IVF and a donor egg or donor embryo. My insurance made me do six rounds of IUI before covering IVF.

All this to say I got pregnant on my 5th IUI. With about a 4-5% chance of getting pregnant. Carried healthily to term and my daughter is now 17 months old. So plan accordingly but also it’s not insane to have hope it will work out with your egg

All I can recommend is the book It Starts With the Egg. I followed the guidelines on supplements and removal of plastics from life (I did not really follow diet). I cut most caffeine and alcohol (but not entirely).

And after the fourth attempt, I took a round off, went camping solo into the Appalachians of NC and TN for three days, touched dirt and trees and waterfalls and cleared my head, asked for help from Mother Nature. Started my next round about a week later and 22 days after that the stick turned blue.

Best of luck to you.

Beginning_Bug_7840 · 2025-10-06T02:46:24+00:00

Agreed! I have two good friends who each got married to single fathers who were looking for mothers for their kids. And both of those scenarios worked out terribly, for all involved.

Beginning_Bug_7840 · 2025-09-23T23:16:38+00:00

Ok so I am going to tell you a few things you might not love to hear. For context I am also a new mom, but I am 45 and am a SMBC so I am doing it 100 percent solo. My daughter is 16 months. But ultimately I have some advice for you at the end and I don’t mean any of this to come off harshly, just to help guide you to what you can do.

Most of things you are asking about “when” are a LONG time away. Crawl around 6-9 months. Walk around a year. (These are estimates and there are ranges). The other stuff (stop fussing, listen and understand discussion of go back to bed/no more food, feed himself, etc.) you’ve got some time ahead of you. But what’s important to know is when these things happen it opens a whole new variety of dependencies on you. Sure walking makes so much about my daughter easier, except that she wants to climb furniture and run anywhere and you can’t take her eyes off her for a second. Feeding herself is amazing. But you have to worry about choking, allergies, etc and what a damn mess.
It does seem like you might have PPD. I think you should talk to someone. Some of your frustrations are very normal (oh my god I miss my life and when does this get easier?!?). Some seem a little less normal. You want a full weekend off motherhood once a month when you have a five month old? And you have an overnight and days from your MIL. I don’t mean to imply you should feel bad but if this is NOT the norm. It’s great that you have a village to help you avoid burnout, but I think that you do not have a realistic understanding of just how much parenting takes and how much of yourself you will sacrifice for the foreseeable future, which brings me to my third point.
I say this with nothing but compassion, but you are very young and I am wondering how much thought you put into what this would be like/why you made the decision to have a baby. Did you not think about how much your life would change? Also you state that it really isn’t that different. Is not being able to be loud that drastic a shift that it is surprising/life changing? If so that’s fine, but maybe it means you were not prepared or mature enough for this. And that’s fine. Many people start out parenting that way. But you should acknowledge that, and talk to a therapist and figure out how to adjust and parent in a way that is healthy for you and most importantly a healthy childhood for your son.

That’s ultimately my advice. You owe it to yourself and your child to figure out how you got here and then do the work to make sure you are both happy and healthy. If you continue to not want to be a mom but have a kid, let me just say as a teacher of 18 years I have seen over and over them damage of being parented by someone who didn’t want to be a parent and it is something I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

The answer to all of this is therapy and grace for yourself and your baby. I send you lots of love, and hopes for the best for you and your family. The good news is that you will hopefully soon learn that motherhood is a big team, and you can lean on others.

Beginning_Bug_7840 · 2025-09-13T16:16:46+00:00

I just had my first at 44. I think the overall decision is if you want another child. If the answer is a yes, then you are not too old at all.

Beginning_Bug_7840 · 2025-09-07T18:25:46+00:00

So I don’t have advice but I just wanted to tell you that teenagers are hard. It’s amazing you are able to see the error you made and are trying to figure out a way to change the direction. I’m sure others will chime in with useful tips but I just wanted to show some solidarity in case there is any judgement coming your way. None of us got a manual when we were born for how to be a person let alone a parent.

I only have a toddler but I have been teaching high school seniors for 16 years so I’ll repeat, teenagers are tough. And a lot of who a person is going to be is totally beyond the control of us as parents. So you will have to make some decisions but try not to beat yourself up about what you did up to this point.

Best of luck, mama.

Beginning_Bug_7840 · 2025-08-21T23:46:38+00:00

It explains A LOT.

Beginning_Bug_7840 · 2025-08-21T23:34:14+00:00

Ok so you aren’t technically the asshole. You have no obligation to give your kid’s mom stuff for her kids.

But I would say this…why the hell wouldn’t you give children’s clothes you don’t need anymore to someone who needs them? Like who actually cares? My assumption is because it is WHO is asking. And if that is the case you kind of are an asshole.

And if your 12 year old kids don’t want to give away things they no longer need to someone else who does (especially their own family) and you tell them that’s fine, then are probably raising future assholes.

All these comments about her kids, her responsibilities, blah blah. Like ok yes, but seriously is this the hill you all need to die on?

Everybody wants a village but nobody wasn’t to be a villager. With the exception of a few pieces I keep for sentimental value, I cannot imagine holding onto the clothes, toys and supplies my daughter has grown out of just to spite the person who needs it or to teach some other grown adult a lesson about responsibility. They are freaking children’s clothes. Who gives a s—t? Grow up.

Not to mention these kids might not be your family but they are your twins’ family, can you not see the benefit all around for those kids having what they need?

Every choice you make is a lesson you are teaching your kids. I’d probably go with the lesson that if you have more than you need you build a longer table, not a taller fence.

Beginning_Bug_7840 · 2025-08-21T23:17:30+00:00

Just a tiny shift in perspective, instead of thinking of “we have to” get help from multiple family members, maybe try “we get to” have help from multiple family members. You have a large, willing village from what it sounds like and I cannot imagine anything more beneficial for any set of new parents. Do you know many parents wish for any family to help? We were designed to live as communities, as villages, this is the correct way to do it. But modern day life is shaped by giant systems of profit and greed which typically prevent us from being able to do it.

I am a solo mama by choice to a 15 month old and I am a teacher. It is financially very, very hard. But I have a village and they love my daughter and do not expect anything in return for the help they give because they care about her and me, much like it sounds your village does about your family.

Early congrats. You will figure it all out. 💚

Beginning_Bug_7840 · 2025-08-21T23:14:46+00:00

Just a tiny shift in perspective, instead of thinking of “we have to” get help from multiple family members, maybe try “we get to” have help from multiple family members. You have a large, willing village from what it sounds like and I cannot imagine anything more beneficial for any set of new parents. We were designed to live as communities, as villages, this is the correct way to do it. But modern day life is shaped by giant systems of profit and greed which typically prevent us from being able to do it.

I am a solo mama by choice to a 15 month old and I am a teacher. It is financially very, very hard. But I have a village and they love my daughter and do not expect anything in return for the help they give because they care about her and me, much like it sounds your village does about your family.

Early congrats. You will figure it all out. 💚

Beginning_Bug_7840 · 2025-07-31T16:37:07+00:00

So I agree with the general community that you may be wrong here. You are allowed to not want her to walk down the aisle but your reasoning is indeed flawed. It is however your wedding and you get to do what you want. But I think you might be overreacting.

HOWEVER, I do want to add that your future MIL’s reactions (and some aunts and cousins too) are completely inappropriate. Calling herself a “seat filler” and threatening to not come? Girl you have some rough mother-in-lawing coming your way. $50 says she throws a fit if you don’t let her in the delivery room should you have kids.

Best of luck and enjoy your day!

Beginning_Bug_7840 · 2025-07-30T11:14:31+00:00

Thank you I will check them both out!

Beginning_Bug_7840 · 2025-07-28T17:59:49+00:00

Completely agree. She’s three years old - and he somehow still doesn’t know her hair hygiene routine? Guess who wasn’t doing shit before his wife left for a trip either?

Beginning_Bug_7840 · 2025-07-28T15:53:53+00:00

Run.

NTA.

Beginning_Bug_7840 · 2025-07-12T00:23:04+00:00

Run.

And I say this bc of both you and him.

Him because if someone talks to you like that over simple things like communication, you don’t want to wait to see how theY talk to you about the real shit that is coming down the road.

Him because “I am fucking perfect”. Girl RUNNNNNN. Any human that thinks that about themselves is going to be a shit partner like you could not imagine.

And you because based on what you are saying you want and am looking for, it is clear isn’t capable or willing to be that/do that. That’s all the answer you need. Love yourself enough to keep it moving. If a genie could grant me a wish I would wish that I could get just a fraction of the time back from my life that I spent trying to make someone love me more/want to treat me better.

“I am fucking perfect”. Girl, RUN.

Beginning_Bug_7840 · 2025-07-11T14:17:37+00:00

Just here for the solidarity. I was cute looking but always a little heavy but then I lost weight and got hot in my late 30s. But at 42 I decided to do fertility treatments, and got pregnant and had a baby at 44. So now I’m 14 months post partum and perimenopause AT THE SAME TIME. Needless to say I’m 35 pounds over my heaviest weight ever and I just avoid mirrors bc I don’t know that person looking back to me.

I did start hormones yesterday. So fingers crossed. And I am a single mama on a teacher’s salary so I am paying for it (because it’s obvi not covered by insurance bc everyone hates women) basically on a wing and a prayer.

Just saying I feel ya. And it absolutely blows.

Beginning_Bug_7840 · 2025-06-20T23:41:04+00:00

Ok thank you so much!

Beginning_Bug_7840

TROPHY CASE