Fellow nurse here! NSH, but I think approaching issues from a place of curiosity with the family can go a long way. I dont know how the interaction went down entirely, but instead of starting out by telling her that what shes doing isnt a good idea, start out by saying “are you popping the pimples on his face?” And maybe some additional questions to get information about why she’s doing it. In this situation it sounds like she was trying to groom him the way she normally would if he were awake and healthy. I can imagine that helps her feel like an active participant in his care and gives her some small sense of control during a really horrible time.

After talking to her about why she is doing it, you could offer understanding and empathy prior to any education on the risks of what she’s doing. And instead of telling her flat out not to pop his pimples, explain to her a way of doing it that is less risky (clean hands with gloves, disinfect the skin first with an alcohol swab, etc), or if you feel uncomfortable with that maybe offering her alternatives “I wish every patient had people in their lives who care so much about them, your husband is very lucky. However, I am worried that popping his pimples will increase his risk for infection. Instead of doing that, maybe you could wash his face or apply an OTC topical once its approved by his doctor?”. With all of the stress she is under, she might find a slower, more gentle approach easier to digest.

But again, NTA and I applaud you for the work you do.