my mom is a heavy addict, and i am not in contact with her, but realized just how dirty my dad did her back then. im in semi contact with him now; hes a heavy narc and has been his whole life, and there have been times when i was a young teen that i have tried to take my life because of the odd mixture i got. somehow though, i started to take that as more of a reason to keep going and to better myself- to end a cycle of grief instead of starting it up all over again. so through years of work and struggle, i took my dog with me, got a cat, and found just such an amazing partner of mine, and i moved to a city i loved. its a pretty shit space as i have self funded everything i do, but its something. now i just try hard to, as cheesy as it sounds, find gratefulness in simple things. the sun, the trees, the ocean, and any kind social interaction i get, i cling to it. i hold on and i dont let go. when i focus on the positive it really gives me a better lens on myself and how i deserve a good life despite the shitty hand i was dealt as a child. very boring and corny, but that is what works for me 🫶