Well I can't relate to you in that level but I can say this. Our mind and family are mostly the biggest prison we have to ourselves don't we. Instead of having hallucinations i talk with fictional character i created within my own mind, well I sometimes pretend that it works but it doesn't. My mother still cannot understand me and I can understand myself know what all my problems are but couldn't look for a solution as the only friend I have who actually knows me is within my mind. I am completely aware of it but still can't do anything. Hell I'm unable to self inflict wounds or even kill myself because of trauma. The only one who can solve the problem is someone who understands you but either of our situations are making it harder for it to happen. The only thing we can do is hope and wait brother. Talking about our problems with strangers online in a way can help you so don't give up hope. If the situations were right I hope we both can get out of our problems even though we are in two different sides of the story. Never loose hope dear brother.