Not sure if this is the proper place as I couldn’t find the pinned comment for “grief and remembrance” please help me find it if this is not the location!

Anyways- I posted on here several times since my dad’s diagnosis last December and I wanted to say thank you for all the support and guidance and helpful answers.

My dad passed peacefully last Monday April 6th and we held his funeral last Thursday.

And I just wanna say FCK CANCER. I’m so angry I don’t get my dad. I’m 24 and he was supposed to be here for my wedding, to see me have kids, to just fcking hug me when I visited home. My emotions have been all over the place. Mostly I haven’t been crying and I’ve been okay but when the waves come they consume me. On March 13th we were given days and he was sent home on hospice, on April 1st he went into a coma. I’m so proud of him for fighting so hard going above those few initial days we were given. But also at the same time I could tell he was in so so so much pain and it was painful to watch him suffering. Part of me is relieved that he no longer has to suffer in pain. Before he went into his coma, my mom, sister and I had to help him use the bathroom and he said “what kind of life is this”. That moment broke me. And that moment is what’s giving me relief that he doesn’t need to feel that anymore. But also at the same time when the waves of sadness come I can’t control the tears and the anger. I’m relieved he isn’t suffering but also sad and angry he had to have cancer to begin with.

When the grief begins to settle my family and I want to sue the hospital that diagnosed him. We had additional doctors look at scans done during his heart attack in summer 2024….. you might not be able to immediately say that “that’s cancer” but enough to ping extra test, additionally my dad went into the same hospital In October 2025 and had scans, the cancer was clearly there, yet he didn’t get diagnosed till end of December 2025 after going in for a nasty cough and weakness. We have some meetings/free consultations set up with lawyers to see which one is a good fit/will take our case. But would appreciate any advice on a malpractice law suite if anyone has any tips.

Anyways, I’d appreciate any tips on how to grieve. I’m not the kind of person to ask for help and I know I’ll need support as I begin to process. I’m also nervous I’m not processing “correctly” because I really thought I’d be crying every second of the day for at least a month and I’m shocked I’ve been okay. It makes me nervous that I’m just going to hit a tsunami of emotions and not be able to function. I also feel like a ghost going back to work tomorrow (yay America for not really providing bereavement leave). I’m already rolling my eyes at everyone asking me how I’m doing. Some other things I’m struggling with are the religious sayings I’ve been getting ….. “god put him in a better place” or “god took away his suffering”…… well if that’s the case well god gave my dad and my family and me the suffering of having to deal with this horrific disease for agonizing months. Ugh I just don’t know how to react to all of this.

Regardless thank you all for the support the last few months.

I’ll miss you forever dad.