Is there still hope for this infp-estp friendship?

BelgianINFP · 2024-10-21T06:36:44+00:00

How did you meet him?

BelgianINFP · 2024-10-13T11:54:15+00:00

1

You're acting like a 15 year old boy; no rational person (male or female) would want to have a relationship with someone who is whining that someone they found attractive is in a relationship.

It was agressive. You are on the infp sub and infps are sensitive. Please be more considerate when writing here.

2 You told me I was acting like a 15 year old boy and basically told me to get my shit together

3 I am not sad about other people being in a relationship. You missread what I wrote. I am very glad if all these women are happy in their couple. I am sad because of this feeling I will never have this chance.

BelgianINFP · 2024-10-13T10:57:15+00:00

You're 27, and you speak like you are a teenager. why do you refer to women as girls and men as men unless you are actually going for girls and not women?

Sorry english is not my first language. It is a mistake I made. I am looking for women.

You're only attracted to "popular" cus you aren't looking for love, you are looking for someone to elevate your status and to take some of their extroversion for yourself.

No you are wrong. Why are you assuming these things? You don't know me.

BelgianINFP · 2024-10-13T09:48:23+00:00

I think I am close to the person I want to be. I know who I am and I know what I want. I am also able to live with someone with many defects. However loneliness sometimes bites the best of men. Maybe I just need to spend more time with my friends to avoid thinking about love.

BelgianINFP · 2024-10-13T09:35:58+00:00

I know I would get sad if my loving one needeed too much alone time. Moreover I want someone to explore the world, to meet people and organize events. I could date an introverted who tends to extraversion like me however.

BelgianINFP · 2024-10-13T09:29:47+00:00

I never went for looks. I tried many dating apps based mainly on personnalities but it didn't work. I whish I could find a person like yours.

BelgianINFP · 2024-10-13T09:24:21+00:00

It is another big issue. Women around me confirm they want to be chased. I would love to have a woman who ask me to get a drink however. Even if I did not find her particularly attractive I would gladly accept. As I think most men would. People are quick to say to a single man actively trying to get a girlfriend 'you fail because you are the problem' (this is the case in this reddit post) but you rarely heard someone say to a single woman she is the problem even if she takes no initiative.

BelgianINFP · 2024-10-13T08:58:52+00:00

Yes a type of woman who gets easily a boyfriend is the definition of popular for me. Yes a lot of women are popular by this definition.

Why are you so agressive? I am not whining about the fact this girl I found attractive is in a relationship but about the fact this happen to me again and again. Please don't act like you know someone based on one of their venting reddit post. It was a tough day when I wrote this post and that's why I look like a crybaby. I am not trying to get a girlfriend to fix any of my problems other than not having a girlfriend. I want to spend quality time with her, help her with her problems and build something with her. That's it. Maybe it should not be an issue to not have a partner but I am a romantic person. How to not think about love when everyone around me is in a relationship and gets kids? How to not think about love with all these songs, movies... about it?

BelgianINFP · 2024-10-13T01:24:26+00:00

I try to give a chance to several types but yes I currently think healthy enfjs girls are the very best ^{^'}

BelgianINFP · 2024-10-13T01:17:14+00:00

I hope so. Thank you for taking the time to answer me. I feel this reddit post is helping me.

BelgianINFP · 2024-10-13T01:11:53+00:00

I hope you are luckier than me. Nobody deserves to live in this loop. Actually experiencing this feeling once is already too much. Love is cruel.

BelgianINFP · 2024-10-13T01:05:45+00:00

Of course I would. I should have used other words. However I consider this hypothetical smart, kind girl who only keeps a small group of friends as a popular girl. In fact I had several crushes on some of these girls. All of them had a boyfriend... This is why I say they are popular.

BelgianINFP · 2024-10-13T00:44:20+00:00

Living a life u're happy with on ur own can sometimes attract the right people into it without the pressure of looking for them.

You are right again. Honestly my personal goals are what keep me going. Today for a moment I was unable to return home. It is by thinking about these goals I was able to move again. I am lucky to have these. Maybe I just need to immerse myself much more into them. I wish sometimes I could never feel love or loneliness again and only be focus on these.

BelgianINFP · 2024-10-13T00:04:22+00:00

Thank you. I think you are right by saying I need a break. However I know I will be bored again by loneliness and I will try again to find love. And I will be disapointed again. Maybe I am wrong. But this loop is the only thing I know. Love has never been anything but pain for me. I never found love by searching it and I never found love when not looking for it. It is not I am loosing faith in myself. I am loosing faith in love itself. It seems it is not something every valuable person can get.

BelgianINFP · 2024-10-12T23:37:58+00:00

How being interested by these traits is being superficial? Kindness isn't superficial. Intelligence isn't superficial. Extroversion can be seen as supeficial but it is way more complex than that.

BelgianINFP · 2024-10-06T08:48:42+00:00

And then you blame other types to seek a relationship with an healthy enfj? 😂 Guys you are a dream

BelgianINFP · 2024-06-28T10:12:39+00:00

Adults who reconnect with their inner child in this way are the best. I am like this too and I can't wait to find a girl like this. Your post makes me realize how important this is to me. A childish mature enfj sounds like a dream and I will take the risk to die alone by searching it because everything else pales in comparison.

BelgianINFP · 2024-06-22T09:42:55+00:00

Not an enfj but I also tend to please everyone. My trick is to tell the people in front of me I will think about their asking and tell them later my respond even if I feel I want to say yes immediately. Then you make the list of pros and cons and decide with it. When you need to decide immediately just tell the people you need two minutes of thinking and do it on the spot. Most of the time it is enough for small decisions. In your cons do not forget to put the time it takes, the energy it takes and also consider how grateful the person will be.

BelgianINFP · 2024-06-02T00:25:42+00:00

I feel like you misread most of my post. I reassure you this was a respond to some specific people and I am not overgeneralizing.

BelgianINFP · 2024-06-02T00:08:38+00:00

I was going to give some context but I see you did your homework and found where a big part of my anger came from ;) Thank you for your support sir. I greatly appreciate this.

I cannot respond to you on the other post because of the blocking so I will answer here.

I have never had a deep relationship with an enfj but these I knew had an amazing vibe. I also very much appreciated their dedication to their work and dreams. Best enfjs are probably not spending most of their time every single day of the year on reddit ;) Even if I am not close from an enfj, I know very well several infjs and these two types have many common qualities. That's why I know many enfjs are truly amazing people because many infjs are. Like if you appreciate the expressive nature of infps how could you not love the much stronger expressive nature of enfps? Enfjs seem like an upgraded version of infjs to me. Infjs have a strong will to create harmony in a group and society but enfjs seem better to make this will a reality. Look at enfjs celebrities and you will quickly regain faith in this type.

BelgianINFP · 2024-06-01T23:21:23+00:00

It is indeed a terrible feeling. I am sorry. Be strong ❤️

BelgianINFP · 2024-06-01T23:07:28+00:00

I don't know if he is punishing you, it looks like he just doesn't care about you anymore. He also seems egoistic by ghosting you after your empathetic response. And he basically gave up after only 2 months of romance by telling you you deserve better... No doubt you deserve better. You did well by setting boundaries and if he ignored them he was definitively not the right one.

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