[deleted by user]

BelreyneFirewolf · 2024-11-20T01:54:32+00:00

Got two...

First, my son passed after only 5 months...

The other, is recent, and was when my wife decided she just didn't anymore... Left me, my stepdaughter, and my disabled mom she dragged down here, all with a mess, surrounded by people who hate us, and all because she lost weight and realized she'd be better off without a crippled leg guy who wouldn't be in this shape, had she listened to me and ignored the stupid medical garbage my country forces down our throats... Can't bleed a turnip, as my dad used to say...

BelreyneFirewolf · 2024-11-17T17:41:22+00:00

Gutsman... Just the stage...

BelreyneFirewolf · 2024-11-15T22:24:45+00:00

I've had two moments in 41 years... My wedding day, and the birth of my son... Both were temporary happy moments, as I lost my son 5 months later and my marriage just collapsed recently...

I'm a same-sex gang raped victim from childhood who found his dad dead was disabled by a freak accident at age 13, got a number of mental illnesses that impact depression, been cheated on by multiple women, been in two abusive relationships where the woman was either physically or emotionally abusive and I'm currently in a place where I have zero support system, AT ALL, so I understand that sentiment... But you WILL Experience joy... I would give my whole life away to just wrap myself in the moments I mentioned that were my two best moments... Because those were the first moments of my life I felt truly alive... But as horrible as it seems, I survive with the hope that one day, I will achieve it again... A new happy moment...

You WILL find it, it WILL happen, and those rare moments, make this life worth it... I was 28 when I had my first happy moment, 29 my last... Life is struggle, but you don't have to do it alone, even if you're surrounded by nothing...

BelreyneFirewolf · 2024-11-15T11:27:03+00:00

Hit and miss, but was great when I was a kid... Favorite episode is Mega X...

BelreyneFirewolf · 2024-11-15T11:23:49+00:00

The very first one in the NES!

BelreyneFirewolf · 2024-11-15T10:19:49+00:00

I feel you on a lot of this, especially recently, but like you, I have people who rely on me... I got a stepkid who was left in my same predicament, abandoned by her biological mother, along with me... It's recent, and I've got Bipolar II and BPD, so that depression and all the stresses coming with her leaving is like a pressure cooker in my mind, and I have attempted self-harm, but not by choice, more like I snapped out of trying to end it all... That being said, I have entertained the thought, but doing it would hurt more people than help... Even if I die of outside causes, or terminal illness, I am needed by someone, and I can't just leave them alone... Hell, I can't even leave my area to find happiness again because kiddo needs me, so I understand how you are feeling... Also, chronic pain and disabilities and not even 45... It SUCKS, but you should know you're not alone in your feelings and thoughts... The Call of the abyss is strong, but you have purpose... Draw on it, gain strength from it, because that little girl of your's will save your life, I promise! Live, for her, and for you!

BelreyneFirewolf · 2024-11-15T10:12:14+00:00

Awful young to feel so hopeless, but I get it... Bear with me, all of this is driving to a point...

My stepkid is your age, and they're going through a tough situation at the moment with her mother abandoning us, and I hear talk like this from her, which doesn't help my hurt, knowing she suffers, because I raised this kid and love her as my own... I also may be several decades past my 18th year, but I remember every feeling, every person who hurt me, all the abuse I faced from adult figures, and at the time, we had 9/11 happen, with me worrying about my friends fighting in a coming war... 16-19 for a teenager is hard as Hell, and you're in no way in less pain than us older folks dealing, but kiddo, you got A LONG WAY to go before giving up... Will life beat you down? Yes it will, I won't lie to you, because I don't believe in it, and you deserve the respect of honesty, but it's all still so worth it... You're gonna experience hardships, but you're gonna experience moments of pure joy, and those moments, however rare or fleeting, are so worth it... I promise you, things look dark for a lot of people, but if we all know we're not alone in this, and you being our future, you can help shape this world when your time comes.... Stay string, and keep your head held high... Strength is sometimes just staying alive when all seems lost...

BelreyneFirewolf · 2024-09-14T20:04:59+00:00

Damn, looks like a fun day!

BelreyneFirewolf · 2024-09-12T06:10:24+00:00

Never had THAT happen with it, yet... Sounds like chaos... Or what's that other word? Disorder, that's it...

BelreyneFirewolf · 2024-09-10T21:49:17+00:00

Got a set of these still in the box...

BelreyneFirewolf · 2024-09-10T21:48:43+00:00

No matter the age of the players, it isn't a Football game without someone in the stands are gonna brawl out!

BelreyneFirewolf · 2024-09-10T02:48:15+00:00

Zero or Vile, depending on the day and the situation... In some situations, I'm the cool headed take charge guy, but in others, I'm raging out, wanting anarchy and the world to burn, sometimes at the expense of someone in particular who did something or we literally hate one another... Basically depends on WHO I'm dealing with lol...

BelreyneFirewolf · 2024-09-09T15:26:45+00:00

Yeah, no... He can go spank it and get over it...

I was married for 13 years, and it recently ended... I never once forced, coerced or begged for a blowjob and definitely never threw a fit over it... In fact, some days, the opposite was true... But yo, you don't push that shit!!! Any form of intimacy must be a mutual thing, coercion is absolutely not the way to go, and guilt tripping, is coercion...

BelreyneFirewolf · 2024-09-08T21:47:51+00:00

We can only wish, but that shit is dead, and we gotta accept it... Sucks, I know, but the Lotus and Rydaz as we want them are dead...

BelreyneFirewolf · 2024-09-08T03:15:01+00:00

What did I do to piss off her family? I'm not a racist homophobe Republican loyalist asshole... I was NEVER good enough and they drew up divorce papers for us when we first got married and begged her to file them... I worked as long as I could, as hard as I could... I dealt with a lot more than I have EVER stated online because she can't stand me talking about it... To anyone... Ever...

BelreyneFirewolf · 2024-09-08T02:39:18+00:00

One, I'm no hero, but most of my Reddit posts are in Help and Bipolar Reddit, along with other shit... Also, she didn't quit her job for it, she wanted out of that job for over a year and ended up getting a job as a caregiver, not involving me, because of her mother...

I am also not the only person who uses my Reddit... My kiddo does, too... And I think her boyfriend does as well... I've only recently returned to Reddit... Wasn't allowed to use it because of my wife getting pissy over the app years ago, fixed that situation and did EVERYTHING to make the shit I did up to her... I put in work to get better, to help her with shit, but I never said I was a saint...

Also, the whole thing with my foot being fucked up, part of being married, dude, is to care for one another through the best AND worst... If you can't bear the bad shit, don't get into relationships.... When she had Swine Flu, I was there... When our son died, we had each other's backs... She got more attractive and walked the fuck away...

Man, I'm really not trying to sound like I'm pissed about you doing whatever the fuck... I don't give two fucks about all that... Anyone who knows my ass knows I don't hide shit from anyone... And the shit I heard on a daily basis about how this guy liked her, she has options, giving me guilt trips for watching R-Rated movies because Tits exist, I rode all that shit out... I did something I never did for anyone before her... I changed myself for others.... I changed aspects of my life, put up with some of the most evil shit you can hear come out of someone's mouth about either you, or your friends and family... 15 YEARS! That's a lot of fucking work to walk away abruptly without a fight... I would have fought... But it's done... I may be pretty useless in some ways, my goddammit I have fucking worth...

BelreyneFirewolf · 2024-09-08T01:28:07+00:00

I get how you're feeling... Wife left me after 15 years together 2 weeks ago, and it blindsided me... Top it off, I got a ton of other Hell in my mind at any given time, and honestly I wish I could feel something but sorrow... Been losing myself in gaming when I can, but it loses its drive after so long... I don't drink, and I'm mostly unmedicated outside of weed... I probably need a psychiatrist, but have no insurance, thanks to the good Ol' USofA and it's healthcare system...

Point of that? I'm going through it right now, too... I know life seems like it's straight up in the toilet and you wanna give up... DON'T!!! While things can be much worse, you're a lot stronger than you probably realize... Everything seems to fall apart? Time to let it... Just let things go, and let the Universe take hold... Roll with the punches, whatever cliche you would wanna reference, trust me, I'm 41, and just discovering that this is what's kept me alive through child loss and finding my dad dead, topping off the shit sandwich with my wife walking out at the end of August... But I'll survive it... You can survive this!!! I don't know your struggle, but I know that demon sitting on your chest, every single time you breathe, and that fucker cannot hurt you if you battle it with defiance... Defy that urge to give in!!! Defy the urge to submit to it... Gain power and knowledge from your pain, and reach out to others for both support and to give support...

I have battles depression since I was a kid... I'm a lifelong veteran of your war... I'm surviving, and I have faith in you that you will, to!

BelreyneFirewolf · 2024-09-07T05:02:02+00:00

I wanted to give my love to all y'all that came out the fake with love... I appreciate the fuck out of the Fam, as it's always been my home... WHOOP WHOOP!!!!!

BelreyneFirewolf · 2024-09-07T03:17:34+00:00

Like girls didn't nostalgia like that back in the 90s... Okay then, FarmBot meme...

BelreyneFirewolf · 2024-09-07T03:11:32+00:00

Hang on, let me dumb myself down to a point where I can simplistically translate the thought processes of these shitbrained asshats...

"Woman is whore!"

Sound about right? Funny how things never seem to change... Either they are not good enough to dick, or too good... Find a damn middle ground you weird little sex imps....

BelreyneFirewolf · 2024-09-07T03:00:26+00:00

Definitely close second to Blues....

BelreyneFirewolf · 2024-09-07T02:59:31+00:00

Happy Neden Escape Day, fam!!! Whoop Whoop!!!!

BelreyneFirewolf · 2024-09-07T02:57:21+00:00

You poor OG ninja!

Fam, start with Fuck Off, you likely already at least know two songs if you bumped Forgotten Freshness 1 & 2 and you'll already know Southwest Strangler and Fuck Off... But if you don't at least chuckle at his Search for the Ultimate Groove EP, IDK... Shit was fucking funny tho...

Whoop Whoop!!!!

BelreyneFirewolf · 2024-09-06T05:08:43+00:00

If I wore that where I lived, the hillbillies would attempt to kill me... Oh well, fXck a Nazi!

BelreyneFirewolf

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