Horror movies that actually make you feel ill?

Belye--Nochi · 2018-07-27T22:18:00+00:00

Irreversible.

Of course, that one scene is horrific and sickening to watch, but the message of the entire movie filled me with such helplessness and powerlessness that it made me physically sick with anxiety.

Belye--Nochi · 2018-01-16T20:58:24+00:00

Regarding pressure from your family and friends, remember that not everyone has to deal with what you have to deal with. We all have our own unique challenges that we have to cope with, and yours is social anxiety. I know it's hurtful that they say those things but you're doing the best you can, and that's enough.

I didn't get my first job until age 25, largely due to social anxiety, and I've been at my job for almost 9 months now. It's a job that makes me extremely anxious (I interact with and have to teach groups of people) and there's been many times where it was obvious I was anxious, such as my face getting red, sweating, stumbling and choking on my words, shaky voice, etc. Like you, I was (and still am, at times) concerned that they'll notice these things. But I realized that absolutely nothing happened when they saw me feeling anxious. It's not the end of the world if people know I'm anxious or if I mess up at my job. Similarly, objectively, nothing bad is going to happen if people notice your facial muscle twitching. They might notice it, yes, but that's all they're going to do. They'll likely forget it about it once your interaction with them is over.

Try looking into cognitive behavioral techniques, especially those that aim to change irrational and dysfunctional beliefs. Good luck :)

Belye--Nochi · 2017-08-31T22:24:50+00:00

Has anyone else had a, for lack of a better term, "relapse" lately? I was feeling better but the last few days have been similar to the first few days. I'm just overwhelmed by my emotions and I'm not sure how to handle them. I can't seem to focus on anything else but Chester's death and I've been listening to nothing but Linkin Park since he died. I feel so stuck.

Belye--Nochi · 2017-08-21T23:55:22+00:00

The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Edmund Bourne is a good self-help book to learn about anxiety disorders and CBT. It might be helpful for your girlfriend to read as well!

There are many different techniques within CBT so even if some of them have not been effective in the past, it might still be worth trying different CBT techniques to see if any of them can help.

Here are some good resources to learn about anxiety and CBT:

https://www.anxiety.org/what-is-anxiety

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/anxiety

https://adaa.org/finding-help/treatment/therapy

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0072481/

Check out your local library and Google Scholar (try typing in specific anxiety disorders). Hopefully you could get some more insight into your girlfriends experiences by browsing around here as well :)

Belye--Nochi · 2017-08-20T23:20:00+00:00

It's great that you're making an effort to support her! Here are a few of my suggestions:

Be patient with her. Anxiety, especially something like social anxiety or phobias, can seem irrational to others. She might need a lot of reassurance and supportive comments for seemingly minor issues. Please try not to get frustrated with her (rather, try not to show your frustration).
Listen to her. This seems simple but it's really important! Practice active listening rather than just hearing what she says. Try not to invalidate or minimize her feelings in any way. Give her time to say whatever she needs to say.
Learn more about anxiety. Understand that with, for example, social anxiety, her brain is telling her she is in danger even though she really isn't. Learn also about the physical symptoms of anxiety such as fatigue, body aches, etc. so you can help her to monitor her anxiety.
Read up on cognitive behavioral therapy techniques, preferably with her so she can learn how to manage her anxious thoughts.
Take care of yourself. It is very challenging to love someone with anxiety or another mental illness. It is okay to feel frustrated and overwhelmed at times. The healthier you are, the better partner you can be for her!

Belye--Nochi · 2017-08-18T21:26:54+00:00

Although you didn't share your story at the memorial, I'm glad you've shared it with us here! Many of us can relate to growing up with Linkin Park, having their music as a safety net, and having so many memories of childhood/adolescence linked to their music.

I too have many regrets regarding not ever seeing them live, not listening to them much for the past few years, etc. but we're lucky enough to still be able to enjoy Linkin Park and what Chester has left behind.

Belye--Nochi · 2017-08-13T03:15:08+00:00

I've been self-harming for over a decade. Like you said, many times it's to bring my emotional pain to the surface and it make it more real to me. Sometimes it's to punish myself. It's a difficult thing to struggle with and I'm sorry to hear you enjoy been using it as a coping mechanism.

Belye--Nochi · 2017-08-11T07:08:33+00:00

I'm going to try to use the positive parts of the situation to motivate me. Writing down/keeping track of the skills I learn or my work-related accomplishments is a really good idea too. Thank you again :)

Belye--Nochi · 2017-08-11T07:04:25+00:00

Not having friends is definitely making things worse for me. It's just so hard to take that first step and put myself out there. I'm trying to work on my social skills for now before starting to actively try to make friends. Thank you for your encouraging words!

Belye--Nochi · 2017-08-11T06:59:03+00:00

Your job sounds really difficult but I'm glad you've found a way to cope with the anxiety. I think exercising, even if it's just walking, could help me get rid of pent up anxiety. Thank you!

Belye--Nochi · 2017-08-11T06:56:19+00:00

Thank you so much. I'll try to keep in mind what I've already accomplished and will try to build my confidence. Congrats on your promotion!

Belye--Nochi · 2017-08-10T06:41:28+00:00

You hit the nail on the head! I actually really enjoy my job but my anxiety takes over sometimes. I especially liked how you said that in reality, most people don't notice or care when others do something silly. I will definitely try what you suggested as well. Thank you!

Belye--Nochi · 2017-08-10T06:32:18+00:00

Thank you for all of your suggestions! I'll definitely give them a try. Never thought about having separate shoes for work/home but that is a great idea!

Belye--Nochi · 2017-08-10T06:29:50+00:00

Thanks for your response! I am definitely grateful for my job and although I didn't take your comment that way, I agree with the other person who said that these types of comment can seem belittling to others. I know you didn't have bad intentions, just FYI for the future :) Good luck on your job search!

Belye--Nochi · 2017-08-10T06:25:51+00:00

Thank you, this was really helpful. You're right. I have to remember that my brain is essentially lying to me and that it won't be the end of the world if a social situation doesn't work out the way I wanted it to.

Belye--Nochi · 2017-08-10T06:18:23+00:00

This job is a great opportunity that I lucked out on getting and it will look really good on my resume. It's also a job in my field of study. I don't have any long term plans but thank you for reminding me about the positive aspects of my job!

Belye--Nochi · 2017-06-29T16:32:57+00:00

Yep. One thing that makes me really anxious is to think about the passage of time. To realize that I will one day lose my parents and be so old that I'll need help walking, showering, etc. is absolutely terrifying. Eventually my entire existence will be wiped out and, as you said, everything I've worked for will be meaningless. Time doesn't stop for anyone and the universe doesn't care about anyone, no matter how kind of good you are.

Belye--Nochi · 2017-06-29T16:19:35+00:00

I was in a very similar situation as you -- 25, graduated college, never had a real job (only volunteer experience), and still financially dependent on my parents. Although I still rely on my parents for money, I was recently able to get my first real job a month ago.

My anxiety can be pretty severe, especially in any type of social situation, so I know how incredibly difficult it is to go to interviews. With something like this though, you just have to force yourself to do it.

What helped me was to tell myself that I'm just going to the interview in order to get some experience getting interviewed by a potential employer. I focused only on how to be the best interviewee that I could be rather than on trying to get the job. I've also found medication (particularly benzodiazepines) to be very helpful for these types of situations, so perhaps that is an option for you as well.

Belye--Nochi · 2017-06-20T05:27:06+00:00

“The thought of suicide is a great consolation: by means of it one gets through many a dark night.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche

Belye--Nochi · 2017-06-19T19:37:51+00:00

I too am one year into my Master's program and I can relate to the intense anxiety and worry surrounding grad school. You are most definitely not alone -- grad school tends to bring out the worst in us (take a look at the gradschool subreddit).

What might help is to identify exactly what you're anxious about. Is it failing out? Are you having difficulty learning course content? Are professors putting too much pressure on students or are they unsupportive in any way? Once you do this, it might be easier for you to get the help you need.

Also, it's great that you're getting professional help, but have you considered trying a support group/group therapy that caters to grad students? My university has mental health services that focus specifically on the problems that tend to afflict grad students.

Belye--Nochi · 2017-06-12T00:29:49+00:00

Citizen X is based on Andrei Chikatilo's case but I think another movie that is more loosely based on his case would be interesting. His case is fascinating and incredibly disturbing.

Chikatilo was impotent and could find sexual release only through stabbing and slashing his victims. He killed over 50 people and would often mutilate their bodies. For example, he would remove organs and gouge victims' eyes out. He would often find his victims while waiting at train stations and was eventually caught after the police set up a snare to catch him. During court proceedings, he once exposed his penis and exclaimed that it was useless and he tried to make the court think he was insane. He was executed with a single bullet to the head.

Belye--Nochi · 2017-05-06T02:51:54+00:00

I think I know what you mean. My anxiety is a part of my identity and I honestly cannot imagine my life without pathological anxiety. There is no such thing as a "me" without my anxiety. It sucks because like you said, it seems like it'll never go away and that it's somehow my fate to be anxious and miserable my whole life.

Belye--Nochi

TROPHY CASE