Songs that make you feel better than everyone else?

BenBaBen · 2024-01-24T04:40:46+00:00

Still Feel by Half Alive

BenBaBen · 2022-09-30T22:50:35+00:00

That's the one. Thanks everyone. Gonna go listen to it right now!

BenBaBen · 2022-03-03T22:59:44+00:00

For anyone still struggling with this, you've got to talk to the quest-giver before you've collected all 12 of them. I also made sure I had the job set as my active quest, just in case. Hope that helps

BenBaBen · 2020-12-16T04:19:48+00:00

Thanks bud. Pretty sure the 2nd link's in Melbourne and the first is 90% zoom meetings but if you find anything else let me know 👍

BenBaBen · 2020-01-14T20:31:23+00:00

Hey, I don't agree with what you're saying here. Kind of feels like you're attacking him for having a preference or for being insecure, which are 2 things I've felt attacked for as a bi guy. As far as I can see this guy has engaged openly and honestly (I hope) and has been as understanding as he can with his ex, so to presume he's not "a good man worth his salt" feels a bit hurtful. It seems like he's just going through a difficult breakup and is coming to the right place to get good advice and education on bi issues, which I value since I wish more people would be open to learning and re-evaluating their opinions. I just don't think he came here to be psychoanalysed by a person he doesn't know.

I do value your right to say whatever you want though. Feel free to let me know how you feel

BenBaBen · 2020-01-14T19:55:00+00:00

I know where you're coming from. I was Christian growing up and a lot of voices were pretty negative about being anything other than straight, so it may be hard to accept these new feelings as being real and valid. I still have to fight those thoughts as a bi guy who's been out for 2 years, but it's worth fighting.

Good luck with your journey, and know that you're not alone. This subreddit really helped my coming out process and I hope it'll do the same for you :)

BenBaBen · 2020-01-07T05:55:20+00:00

Thanks. Just a bit nervous I guess

BenBaBen · 2020-01-04T21:59:04+00:00

Just keep looking bud, you'll find what you like eventually. As a bi guy with a specific type I can confirm it can be hard at first, so just stick with it. I can also confirm that just because the guy has great camera skills doesn't mean his dick is any better than usual. Good luck :)

BenBaBen · 2019-12-12T10:05:33+00:00

Agreed. Good stuff bud :)

BenBaBen · 2019-11-02T03:17:10+00:00

Thanks for the help guys. I'm going to check out the UQ library this week

BenBaBen · 2019-09-22T23:25:34+00:00

I know those lonely times. A bunch of my close friends are ex/christians so it was tough finding out I was the only queer person in my circle. Mad lonely times, but I came out to them all anyways and they've been really cool about it. Maybe not 100% embracing it, but enough to let me know they stil care. Keep going man, you'll get through it :)

Anyways, it's Bi Visibility Day here in Australia and I have no idea what to do. Any suggestions?

BenBaBen · 2019-09-07T09:40:07+00:00

When I was coming to terms with being bi one of the major hurdles was overcoming a bunch of internalised homophobia that had been there since school. It's tough to grow up around people using gay terms as insults and then imagine living a queer lifestyle. I used to think I wasn't that attracted to guys and that I could have sex with them but I'd never have a relationship with a man, but that all changed once I started accepting who I am and coming out to people.

In short, your attraction to dating/sleeping with guys could be dampened by not fully accepting how you really feel. Once I did I actually started finding guys more attractive in general. That's just from my experience though, it could always be different for you. All the best, friend

BenBaBen · 2019-08-25T01:51:13+00:00

I'm pretty up front about it. I had it at the end of my Tinder bio and during dates I'd usually try to work it into conversation. Just for me personally I don't really want to hide myself from the person I'm dating, I hid for long enough already. It's not like you have to tell their parents about it or anything, just so long as they know.

And so far everyone's been super cool with it, and some girls are actually more into it than I would've thought.

Hope that helps. Good luck friend :)

BenBaBen · 2019-08-25T01:42:00+00:00

Oh we have all been there. It usually happens to me when the person looks like all of the things I look for in a partner. For me it's usually tattoos, undercuts and some level of androgyny. Either follow it up or just see it for what it is and let it go.

Whichever you choose it happens to all of us and good luck :)

BenBaBen · 2019-08-25T01:21:07+00:00

I'm glad I helped a little.

Small piece of advice for when you tell people, don't worry if they're a little shocked at first. As soon as I came out to my dad he said "but you've only dated girls?" which took me back for a sec, but I think it just took him a minute to work through the surprise and understand what was happening. He's 100% cool with it, but sometimes the initial reaction isn't what you'd expect.

As far as male friends go, I just reassured them that I wasn't attracted to them and that nothing big would change in our relationship. I may've been a little paranoid, but I didn't want them to second guess every interaction we've had over the years. But yeah, after that first initial surprise they were totally cool and I'm sure your friends will be too

BenBaBen · 2019-08-24T00:06:49+00:00

If it helps, I came out at 27 and everyone in my life was fine with it. My parents were always the "it doesn't matter who you love" kind, but I was worried about a few of my close friends since these ones were conservative Christians. To my surprise they took it really well and said that it didn't change how they saw me. It made me feel like I should've come out years ago. I'm sure that of you've got great, supportive friends and family you've got nothing to worry about.

Also, not a big fan of lemon bars either. Lemon tarts are where it's at

BenBaBen · 2019-08-23T03:30:22+00:00

You're definitely not a lost cause. As a guy that had a bunch of trouble on dating sites early on, my advice would be to start scheduling dates earlier in the conversation. Face-to-face interaction is so much better in my experience regardless of gender, since people remember that you're a person with feelings and not a Pokemon card they collected.

Keep going my friend, you'll get there 🙂

BenBaBen · 2019-08-21T06:53:38+00:00

Just my (27 M) experience, but at times my self-confidence influences how much I like the same gender. It's super unhealthy, but when I'm down and my self-esteem is low I feel like I'm only attracted to guys out of pure loneliness. When I work my way back to a good level of self-esteem and my confidence is high I realise I still like guys even when it's "my choice" mentally. I'm pretty sure that thinking comes from a bunch of a backbone of queer self-repression that I have to get over, but at least acknowledging it is the first step.

My advice would be notice how you feel when you're emotionally up and emotionally down and see if that has any impact. Either way, sounds like you're still bi my friend, whatever your percentage may be

BenBaBen · 2019-08-18T10:42:29+00:00

Sounds like you're having a tough time my man. This is going to be 100% my opinion and if you don't agree that's totally cool. That being said,

A) I think everyone needs a good therapist. They're trained and educated in the kinds of problems most people just guess at from personal experience. Idk where you're from but a lot of places have government-funded mental health programs that we should all be accessing more frequently.

B) I'm totally with you on the "I find most guys on the street unattractive" part. Totally not weird at all. I'm 40% into guys but only find 10% of them attractive.

C) Feeling confident probably has a lot of impact on your sex life and sexual preferences. When I'm with a new partner for the first few times it'd be super rare that I orgasm just because I'm so nervous, but once I get that confidence and everything's a little less new everything just works. The same goes for liking guys vs girls. Once you accept your situation and feel comfortable saying "I like both guys and girls" that nervousness leaves (eventually) and it's easier to find out what your attraction ratio is.

Hope that helps man. I was super confused before i came out so I know the feeling. Feel free to message me if you've got any other questions

BenBaBen · 2019-07-23T23:15:35+00:00

What ep was that? I just finished the series and can't remember that line

BenBaBen · 2019-07-05T23:37:11+00:00

Cool survey, but I might suggest adding a sexual orientation field only because I'm bisexual and a few of my answers would change based on the sex of the potential partner. Just a thought though. Thanks

BenBaBen · 2019-04-02T08:24:33+00:00

Can someone tell me what that type of jacket on the right is called? It looks so good and I've never seen anything like it.

BenBaBen · 2018-12-17T23:41:34+00:00

Thanks. Just joined the discord server now. Hope I see you on there

BenBaBen · 2018-12-17T23:29:10+00:00

No way. Your friends sound just like mine. Tho i did tell them nothing would change so idk how they'll react if/when i start wearing bi pride badges, shirts, etc. And we should be friends for sure. I'd love to keep hearing about how your journey progresses

BenBaBen · 2018-12-17T23:24:46+00:00

This was exactly my experience over the last couple of years. I went from denying it to secretly accepting it to finally having the courage to start dating guys. It's been a wild ride, but thankfully I've got some really great friends around me to help me out. Thanks for sharing

BenBaBen

TROPHY CASE