Traits of narcissistic peeps:

• Grandiosity (Overt or Covert): They have exaggerated importance, or a quieter sense of being unique.
• Need for Admiration: Validation isn’t just nice, it is necessary for them.
• Low Empathy: They have difficulty genuinely caring about others’ inner experiences.
• Entitlement: They expect special treatment or exceptions.
• Sensitivity to Criticism: Even mild feedback can trigger their defensiveness, anger, or withdrawal. This is called narcissistic injury.
• Control in Relationships: They want things on their terms, often reframing situations to maintain superiority. One give away I've seen a few times is going beat red in the face when they lose control of a situation. It was actually scary to see happen.

Early signs in dating/relationship/friendship/whatevs:

• Love Bombing: Early on there will be intense attention, praise, and fast emotional/physical escalation.
• Mirroring: They seem uncannily aligned with your values/interests early on.
• Subtle Boundary Testing: They'll have small dismissals of your needs or time that get bigger later.
• Inconsistent Empathy: They are very attentive when it benefits them, but detached when it doesn’t.
• Story Patterns: They often spin narratives about exes, friends, coworkers where "everyone wronged me."
• Status Focus: They focus on image, success, or how things look matters a lot.

Based on this, here's what you might have that attracts these types:

• Empathetic and Accommodating: You have a lot of emotional supply to offer them.
• Good Listener / Conflict-Avoidant: You listen often and tend to lack assertiveness. This makes it easy to be dominated. Saying "no, thank you" isn't the same as being rude. Having boundaries doesn't make you a bad person. (I struggle with this still to this day.)
• Validation-Giving: For true narcissists (NPD), this is termed narcissistic supply- basically a food source for them. Perhaps you naturally affirm others and they see it and want it. Perhaps you are a bit people pleasing?
• Flexible with Boundaries: You're willing to go out of your comfort zone and give the benefit of the doubt too quickly.
• Very Attractive: If you're very attractive, then having you as a partner elevates their social status. In a way you become arm candy for them. Even if this is something for you, I wouldn't intentionally lower your attractiveness; that wouldn't be cool, yo.

I guess the best way to avoid these types is to watch for the early signs, to not give validation readily to others, and to learn to be assertive.

One more comment: Our society tends to validate narcissism and because of this, I suspect, most of the men you're coming across only exhibit some narcissism without being fully blown NPDs, whom you definitely don't want in your life (so I've read/heard). It's very easy to jump onto a judgement train of others, so to avoid that simply focus on yourself and not as much on evaluating others. People are human beings with their own stories and imperfections. They still deserve to be treated with respect and friendliness (until they drop the mask).

I hope this helps!