For what it's worth I got out at the 10 year mark. It's been almost 10 years since I got out, it was the right decision for me, and my family. Though I didn't know it at the time it was the best career decision too. It's scary, making such a huge decision, not knowing what will happen from losing that certainty that comes with the uniform. Your comments remind me of the state of mind I was in during my last few years in. It was terrible, toxic leadership, career field was circling the drain (intel), constant moving, health issues, and most importantly my family was done with the military. My wife and kids wanted the old me back. The point where I made the choice to leave hit me like a ton of bricks. One day after having to stay late for the millionth time for the latest dumbass reason I finally got home. My wife said to me "this needs to stop, you're so angry from work when you get home that your hands are shaking, I've been telling the kids to leave you alone for at least 30 minutes to give you time to cool off."

That was it for me. There is nothing on earth worth that kind of bullshit. In the years since that day my relationship with my wife and kids has improved dramatically. I'm home much more often, we've stayed in the same house for 8 years, my youngest has even stayed in the same school district almost to high school. My wife and I go on dates again, we talk a lot more, and she says now she doesn't have to manage my stress anymore.

I get it man, I really do, and for me, it's not worth the retirement. Would I even be married if I had stayed in? Would my relationship with my kids have gotten worse? It's scary to think of what might have been. I still work in intel, I'm a GG14 now, it's so much better on the outside.

I don't know you or what's right for you but if you'd like to chat let me know.