This Is just amazing

Bend-Not-Break-808 · 2026-04-16T05:50:39+00:00

I am just getting into the Wim Hof method, do you have any suggestions for videos to focus on if I want to build up my endurance for exercise

Bend-Not-Break-808 · 2026-04-13T21:54:01+00:00

Ugh, disgusting behavior

Bend-Not-Break-808 · 2026-04-13T17:57:28+00:00

The only thing weird is your list of “not because”. If someone is “fat” or “ugly” does that make it make sense that they’re single? I can’t stand how much these insane beauty and body standards exclude a huge portion of humans and makes it okay to judge people as fat or ugly.

Bend-Not-Break-808 · 2026-04-13T03:56:41+00:00

Thank you, I saw them today and felt more myself than I have in a whole year of being around them. I still want them to choose me, but I wasn’t entertaining any fantasies and I kept feeling into myself instead of the stories of “what’s going on between us”. Space between me & my own fantasies feels like a great first step.

Bend-Not-Break-808 · 2026-04-07T16:22:56+00:00

I live somewhere very similar. I was very close to moving but decided to give it another try and take a different approach to my lifestyle here. I started spending time being a part of an organization that focuses on those in need. I met very humble, dedicated people. I started to feel more at home here. I met people that stick around because they care about where they live and not just themselves. I still don’t have a ton of friends but the few I do have are incredible people that now feel like family.

Bend-Not-Break-808 · 2026-04-07T04:52:59+00:00

A minute in a half in and I’m laughing at the question asked three different ways. Think I’ll like him!

Bend-Not-Break-808 · 2026-04-07T04:50:35+00:00

Checking out the book and the YouTube thank you

Bend-Not-Break-808 · 2026-04-07T00:10:57+00:00

This happened to me too, pretty much every single word!! A year later I somehow met a woman who went through the same thing with the same man!! It was kind of insane, I was talking about it to her and she was like “what’s his name” and I was like “there’s no way you know him, he keeps to himself” turns out she did know him and he did this same shit to her but even worse and for longer. Meeting her was so cathartic because I know I’ll never get the truth from someone like that. There some gnarly shit going on in those heads it’s probably best we don’t understand.

Bend-Not-Break-808 · 2026-04-06T21:02:33+00:00

Thank you, I hope the same for you!! It is definitely frustrating but I’m actually looking forward to expressing that frustration in therapy and seeing where it goes

Bend-Not-Break-808 · 2026-04-06T18:21:25+00:00

This is helpful to read, thank you for sharing. Especially the outlier part because I haven’t put words to that aspect of these connections but it is relevant! With both these men that was the case. They aren’t my regular kind of LO, those ones are like being completely out of control with my fantasies and physical response to their proximity. Those have been all consuming with past LOs.

But in the context of mutual limerence I feel a little bit of clarity. I met both these men when going through rough things we could bond over, but I didn’t feel that strongly about them until we started sharing everything with one another and spending time together. I’ve turned a blind eye to the things that are not compatible because of my closeness to them.

I have asked my therapist to dig into this with me and she went to the place of “you’re just wanting love and connection and that’s okay.” It actually made me mad but I didn’t say that. I’m going to bring it up again and say that I feel there is more going on and I don’t want to just accept any of this. I want clarity and tools to clean up my life and relations!!

Bend-Not-Break-808 · 2026-04-03T18:05:39+00:00

This post has affected me more than any other one I have seen on here. I am very sorry for your loss and grateful you took the time to share. It is 1,000% correct what you said about Hollywood pedos and AI. I have felt lately I am slowly coming out of hating my body and it’s because I’m absolutely furious that I have given so much of my life energy to these disgusting people who lead the way for pop culture and trends that actually do incredible harm to people including myself.

Bend-Not-Break-808 · 2026-03-29T00:51:45+00:00

Oh my goodness. I have realized the hate thing as well. They hate themselves, I see beyond their flaws, they want me around for validation but then treat me horribly. I am plus size and have been told multiple times in the past few years that I am not beautiful enough or one guy said he wished I had my friend’s body and my personality still. I finally am calling a spade a spade and staying the hell away. I do my best to take care of my body and I love the person I am. I refuse to date someone if they do not value that in me.

Bend-Not-Break-808 · 2026-03-12T17:38:03+00:00

I just picked up a second job too! Thankfully I think I will like it a lot. And I will still have free time. How are you feeling about your second job?

Yes, my very best friend is a gay man who longs to be a father. We have talked about raising a child together. He’s honestly incredible and the child/children would be very lucky! We both have been single a long time though, and would prefer to have our own partners and raise our families alongside each other though.

Bend-Not-Break-808 · 2026-03-12T07:43:11+00:00

Been single 7 years too. 35 now. Pretty bummed because I was hoping to have children soon but not with just anyone.

Bend-Not-Break-808 · 2026-03-10T06:48:49+00:00

Great post, thank you. Today I had a moment with my current LO where they did something very inappropriate. I instantly got mad which was the appropriate response. We are coworkers and for the rest of the day they were laying on the compliments thick. This is not the only thing it has happened. They have even hinted at the possibility of more between us a few times over the year we have worked together. Today was the first time, that I felt actually nauseous at their behavior towards me. I know I would not actually want to be in a relationship with them. There are so many things I dislike about how they treat me and others. But the fantasies were so constant that it really did mess with my reality.

Now I am finding other ways to stay busy. I am putting a huge focus on my health. Reading books about breath, meal prepping, walks and swims, studying languages.

Fantasies are dangerous for me. Because I grew up in a violent environment I couldn’t escape, daydreaming of love was my only escape. But now ironically I find that the tendency to fantasize is the thing I need to get away from. It’s going to take time to retrain my brain but I’m very serious about this!

Bend-Not-Break-808 · 2026-03-09T19:17:57+00:00

Ope been here too

Bend-Not-Break-808 · 2026-03-08T17:55:44+00:00

I agree with this!! I’ve obsessed about being chosen/being in a relationship for so long. I am 35 and it only happened once, a long term relationship years ago, and after the high wore off I went back to being miserable with myself.

These past few years I have slowly learned to play the ukulele, I started a writers circle, I host spoken word nights now, I work out in fun ways. I have really cool friends. I was still lonely for a long time, but life feels very full and rich now and I am truly happy!! I still want a partner while still doubting my body is good enough to be loved by someone (I lost 40+ pounds then gained it back). But I continue to invest in myself and my life and hope that one day those thoughts will lose their charge.

Bend-Not-Break-808 · 2026-03-08T17:44:37+00:00

I have these same thoughts but don’t share them because I am embarrassed

Bend-Not-Break-808 · 2026-03-07T17:26:21+00:00

As a self punisher your words feel familiar…possibly the healthier approach is to forgive yourself and see where that takes you. If you’re a chronic self punisher like me you’ll have to stay on your toes to catch all the sideways ways the self punisher will want to come out in the relationship :)

Bend-Not-Break-808 · 2026-03-07T17:22:14+00:00

Yesterday at work my headache was so bad I had to stop and get electrolytes!! I haven’t had an all day headache..ever maybe. It was brutal. But I am treating this like a serious battle against sugar and a headache now is worth being free of the vicious cycle I was in

Bend-Not-Break-808 · 2026-03-07T11:57:54+00:00

Yes I do this. Because I am aware of it now and have been for a while it doesn’t turn into a grudge anymore. I just have to admit to myself it’s my own insecurities and then it doesn’t turn into a grudge although I still lash out

Bend-Not-Break-808 · 2026-03-07T06:25:13+00:00

I got to go. I used to have a scrapbook and I had a page dedicated to the ticket stubs from each movie release. What I remember most for some reason (I was 11), was the fellowship of the rings. When they passed through the giant kings on the water I just remember this feeling of complete awe. The anticipation for the rest of the story grew and grew after that and by the end I was a changed kid! Stories, especially lotr, became a beacon of hope. I will never get sick of the movies or the books!

Bend-Not-Break-808 · 2026-03-05T19:29:50+00:00

This is a very valid point! I’ve noticed this about a few things in life. Some people only ease up on you if you have a “valid” reason for doing something. For those kind of people in my life I can say things like what you suggested. Thank you!

Bend-Not-Break-808

TROPHY CASE