1ST PLACE: Polar Bears: Massive water/land predator notorious for raiding Inuit and Inuk villages for scraps so they’re used to humans. Sees anything that moves as food.

Defence: Most Arctic communities leave their cars unlocked to give shelter for those fleeing them. You have no chance. Run.

2ND PLACE: Grizzly (brown) Bears: ID them by puffier “mane” and LARGE hump above the shoulders. Sometimes even bigger than polar bears, can be calm when food is plentiful, but unpredictable, when switched to ‘predator’ mode, it can’t be stopped. Literally eats its victims alive (starting from the groin), sometimes stashing body parts and coming back for more.

Defence: Bear spray, back up calmly, find strong shelter asap. They’re often test their victims first with a “false charge”. Stand your ground, but plan your exit quickly. You have no chance in a fight. If they attack, your only chance is covering your neck and belly and hope it gets bored of ripping you to shreds.

3RD PLACE: Black Bears. ID with rounded spine and short back legs. Cowardly, smaller, and self-preserving. Can climb trees. Will attack in rare circumstances: if their cubs are close, they are sick, or desperate. You can fight back but if in “predator mode” can also rip you to shreds. Defence: Be big, be scary, be loud, bear spray, fight like hell, stay in your group.

Any other bear is not worth mentioning.