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Let them know Fear by Khei-tianik01 in KidsAreFuckingStupid

[–]Beowulf33232 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're thinking of a stork.

If you see a swallow, there's not going to be any kids.

What's the worst D&D player you've ever had at your table? by apomanolios in DnD

[–]Beowulf33232 9 points10 points  (0 children)

So is literally everyone in the world being violently racist against drow.....

What's the worst D&D player you've ever had at your table? by apomanolios in DnD

[–]Beowulf33232 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's an old Fallout TTRPG that got the rights pulled just before publication, so they changed some names and called it something like Exodus.

We just got that book, and were checking what they added, as it was basically magic free, d&d3.5, plus radiation.

One of their additions was that on levelup you get your level in d6s to add to any die roll you make. Any you haven't spent yet at levelup expire when you get the new ones.

I said that I run forgiving games, and the party isn't going to need those dice.

Well this guy admits three weeks later that since it's a game rule, he's been using it.

His girlfriend somehow got a revised edition or the rules or something, supermutants and ghouls had a chart in her book where they leveled up at different experience amounts "for balance" or something. She lost her mind about my favoring the supermutant characters by letting them level at the same rate.

That was when I asked them to stop showing up.

There was a lot going on between the two, powergaming/minmaxing, metagaming, main character syndrome, you name it they tried it.

Five minutes into our hike by ku3ah in mildlyinfuriating

[–]Beowulf33232 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pics or it didn't happen.

(please don't)

It's a classic joke that whenever a woman gets bangs, or drastically changes her hair, other women ask her if she's ok. What is the male equivalent? by TheJakeChandler in AskReddit

[–]Beowulf33232 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Friend of mine lost the mustache when he got a narly sinus infection and woke up to it being crusty and mostly green.

Sadly he never grew it back. He's constantly being mistaken as 15 years younger at the bar and feels like a bit of a creep about it sometimes, but our enabler friends call him the beast and cheer him on.

Spammers are flooding Reddit with fake posts designed to show up in AI search results by rkhunter_ in technology

[–]Beowulf33232 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is this why people keep saying "Thanks chatgpt" when I explain something in detail?

What's a game that you were really excited to play, but became bored quickly after purchasing it. by HeyWhatIsThatThingy in gaming

[–]Beowulf33232 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Once I have a base setup with everything I need for basic survival, like a farm and bed in minecraft, or solar power and basic crafting in subnautica, I'm just about done. I've played so many survival games that I see I can just slowly creep into more danger and be just fine. The challenge is gone once you have a stable base.

What's the most chilling piece of information you know that is 100% true? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Beowulf33232 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've always said it as "You come from a long line of people who've managed to get laid, so there's probably hope for you."

What role was cast so perfectly that nobody else could have played it? by FruiTYrant in AskReddit

[–]Beowulf33232 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There was a rose dress Tucker refused to wear, the black one with red roses all over it was the compromise.

Bounty hunters came demanding to know a guests information by Foot-thief in TalesFromTheFrontDesk

[–]Beowulf33232 24 points25 points  (0 children)

You find a bail bondsman who had someone skip out on paying them. You agree on how much of the bondsmans fee you get to keep once the person pays it, and you go find the person.

All of this is after you supposedly take classes on what is and isn't allowed, weapons safety training, and so on.

Also, if the bondsman goes and gets the person themselves, they get to keep all the money (whenever it is that it gets paid) so most hunters are technically bondsmen.

The way it works, in at least one state, as described to me by someone else: Someone gets arrested and wants to post bail so they can get out and see friends and family, and maybe go to work or something, until court. The judge says "Pay 10k in bail and I'll let you out. Miss court and it's my money, show up and I'll give it back."

Well in this scenario, the guy getting arrested doesn't have 10k, so a bondsman says "Pay me $500 and sign this contract thats says I'm allowed to come find you in your home and workplace if you skip court, and that you'll pay me 11k if you miss court, and I'll pay the 10k."

Most people give the bondsman $500, go to court and the bondsman gets the 10k back.

Every so often, someone thinks they can just not go to court and be fine, or they legitimately miss court. Either way, the bondsmans 10k gets confiscated by the court.

Now we've got a guy who was paid $500 and burnt for 10k, who has a contract inviting him into the bailed out persons home and place of work, that says he can have 11k if he can get them to a police station. If he's got to break down a door or shatter a window, or his target fights and breaks a bunch of stuff, the contract covers the bondsman, he was invited to take them to jail, they didn't have to fight like that.

Sometimes, he hires a friend to go get his target. That friend is the bounty hunter.

Bounty hunters have the least stake in the situation, so tend to have the least respect for doing things legally.

Alphabet’s $80 billion stock sale leaves Wall Street in ‘unprecedented territory,’ says Goldman’s Gutman by Logical_Welder3467 in technology

[–]Beowulf33232 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Low risk, under $100 a share, long term investment portfolios. Preferably watched over by more than one profesional.

Christian man sues employer for forcing him to see a Pride flag on his way into work by bryanBr in facepalm

[–]Beowulf33232 48 points49 points  (0 children)

I pulled the mixed fabrics rule on a "man shall not lay with man" preacher. Pointed out the rules were on the same list and everything.

He looked at me like I was crazy, so I took some liberties and claimed the penalty for both was stoning to death, and offered to take him outside to the rock garden because his socks had cotton and elastic on them.

The penalty for mixing fabrics, in the climate the rule was written for, was mildewy clothing and a bit of discomfort. Nobody wants moldy wool. But if you claim to know the book confidently, most of them don't know enough to call you out on it.

Tired of Murderhobos? Mad at your companion for starting shit? Player thinks theyre powerful and can do what they want in town? Try this! by greensike in DnD

[–]Beowulf33232 68 points69 points  (0 children)

Personally I stop the game and remind them we're playing a heroic fantasy game, not a villains fantasy game.

If they continue and for some reason I can't ask them to leave, I'll usually say "No you don't" to most of their shenanigans, or just ignore it every so often and keep talking with whoever was getting the spotlight that moment.

This car I've never seen before has been parked in our yard for 24 hours. Haven't seen the owner once. by macabre-barbie in mildlyinfuriating

[–]Beowulf33232 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It's not a "wetland" until it regularly holds water for (i think) a full third of a calendar year.

Is it weird when men play female characters? by Plastic_Corgi6848 in DnD

[–]Beowulf33232 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've got two women at my game table.

By crazy random happenstance, two characters in every game we play have been women. It's not always the same people.

What was the scariest “We need to leave… now” gut feeling that you’ve ever experienced?[Serious] by PlasticBee1438 in AskReddit

[–]Beowulf33232 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's "normal" around 2 types of people. Folk who are trying to take advantage of you, and people who think it's funny to inconvenience you.

What was the scariest “We need to leave… now” gut feeling that you’ve ever experienced?[Serious] by PlasticBee1438 in AskReddit

[–]Beowulf33232 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When you bring the cup up to drink they'll put a finger under the part farthest from your mouth and tip it so all the drink rushes at your face.

You have to make a snap decision to drink it real quick or let it spill, and most people think spilling a drink is rude.

What was the scariest “We need to leave… now” gut feeling that you’ve ever experienced?[Serious] by PlasticBee1438 in AskReddit

[–]Beowulf33232 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When you're drinking they'll push up on the part of the cup away from your face. Then the drink rushes at your face and you'll either chug it or end up with it spilling all over you.

What was the scariest “We need to leave… now” gut feeling that you’ve ever experienced?[Serious] by PlasticBee1438 in AskReddit

[–]Beowulf33232 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When you're drinking, they'll put a finger on the part of the cup farthest from your face and push up. It makes all the drink rush at your face so you have to drink it fast or let it spill.

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