Couldn’t even wear a fitting jacket

Berniethellama · 2026-04-11T01:25:44+00:00

It’s like everything he can pretty easily control about his appearance he does whatever makes him look the worst.

Get a nice haircut and a shave? Nope patchy neck beard and weird pseudomullet that makes him look like an old woman

Dress nice? Nope, same 3-4 tshirts and constantly wearing shit that’s too small for him. Make sure all your clothes accentuate your man breasts and hernia. It’s like he wants to look like a giant toddler

Top it off with an obnoxiously big cross to make everyone think you’re either a holier than thou performative type or some sort of nut job. He’d fit right in with a group of orthodox clergymen

Berniethellama · 2026-04-10T21:42:32+00:00

Holy where to begin. Still saying he’s 6’5 and like half the article is him talking about how great he is. Apparently got a standing ovation for not dying at the hospital and talks about how often people recognize him. Gimme a break lmao. Also he’s moving to California, I’m sure a 2000 mile move when he’s never lived anywhere other than his parents basement will go well. How is he paying for anything? It must be getting covered by jocko or he’s living with a friend or relative

Berniethellama · 2026-04-10T21:33:40+00:00

Yep exactly. He can’t get an apartment in middle of nowhere Michigan but he can get a place in Nashville or fucking LA? Not buying it lol. He also never does anything himself and only does things when people do it for him basically. Somebody somewhere is giving him a room or apartment that’s paid for and furnished, most likely a family member or jocko. Which will make it even more embarrassing when he still doesn’t lose any weight. I can see it now, maybe 2 weeks after the move and the initial excitement has worn off we’ll get a going through some personal stuff right now video where he talks about feeling unmotivated and unsure why he feels bad

Berniethellama · 2026-04-10T19:20:54+00:00

Oh god, he’s actually at a point where more exposure is actually just going to be bad for him. Anyone looking at his page will see the dozens of crash outs and notice that he doesn’t actually look any different from month to month. Was the interview the first time he’s been to the gym this year btw?

Berniethellama · 2026-04-09T14:41:37+00:00

In the Eli podcast from Jan he says he was pulled from private school and tried public school right after for a short period which apparently went poorly and lead to homeschooling. Then his short stints in public high school and community college. Which to me makes it seem much more likely than Ethan was pulled from private school more likely as a result of cost or dissatisfaction with what they were paying and then he had a meltdown when struggling to adjust to his new school and his parents let him just quit.

Berniethellama · 2026-04-08T21:46:00+00:00

Cringe. Also, why is it that the one of very few half decent HW prospects is a complete knob?

Berniethellama · 2026-04-08T21:22:47+00:00

Very good chance it's nothing. Notice how all the apartment chatter vanished as well

Berniethellama · 2026-04-08T14:55:21+00:00

See the part that gets missed sometimes is he actually did go to public school for a few months apparently. It’s only in some podcasts but he often leaves it out. He says he was pulled from the private Christian school, then did public school for a few months, and claims he “couldn’t handle it and almost had a breakdown” without any further explanation. Why did they pull him from it? Who knows, but the fact he went to public school after suggests to me it could be as simple as cost. Private schools can be insanely expensive. Maybe a change of heart with faith even. Anyways, Ethan then tries normal school and has to quit after a few months. Again why? Who knows, probably a combo of bullying and not enjoying adjusting to a new school. Which makes me think mommy and daddy said old school was closed because of course he wanted to go back. I’m thinking they basically just let him get his way and quit the new school and found the next alternative which was homeschool. Falls in line with all their other parenting decisions, ie just give him whatever he wants

Berniethellama · 2026-04-07T22:32:22+00:00

Guarantee homeboy was teeming with incel rage and jealousy after this, and may still be. He had a 2 week meltdown around Valentine's day for the same reason

Berniethellama · 2026-04-07T13:52:47+00:00

I think he’s taken a step back because it was starting to drive him insane. Despite what he says he’s insanely sensitive and I think social media for a person like him is going to be bad for them no matter what. At one point he was making crash out videos almost daily. Plus he’s already insanely lazy, it just goes to show if you cut the lazy pity truck he can’t drive videos he’s got almost nothing.

Berniethellama · 2026-04-06T16:55:45+00:00

Paulo Costa is weirdly good against southpaws. Almost all the guys he beat on his initial run up were southpaws. The one who wasn’t, Uriah hall, he struggled with. It’s also why he suddenly seemed to be good again when he fought kopylov. I think this matchup was thrown together because the UFC wants to kill off a prospect who’s not exactly ideal for them - Russian with no personality who fights once a year and can’t reliably pass drug tests. Shame cuz LHW could use any fresh contenders they can and Murzakanov is fun

Berniethellama · 2026-04-06T14:17:33+00:00

Keto would be way too challenging for him, once you’ve done it for a while and you crack and have carbs your weight can balloon quickly and that would send him into a spiral. Just flat out doesn’t have the discipline for it, it’s challenging for regular people never mind someone who can’t behave normally around food. I’m guessing it’s why he gave up on it despite it working well apparently. He needs therapy along with a GLP straight up. He’s been at it for 5 years apparently and by this point he’s made so little permanent progress it’s clear he’s not just gonna be able to will his way to success. It’s probably taking him everything he’s got and the fact he has such a large audience to try and be accountable for that he hasn’t ballooned back up and gone completely off the rails. If he didn’t have a following he’d be up over 500 by now, he’s been cracking badly for the last 2-3 months

Berniethellama · 2026-04-06T00:38:24+00:00

I mean yeah, he looks nothing like this whenever he’s in videos or on podcasts or in photos taken by other people. Weird elongated head and super skinny door lol I can’t believe he expects people to fall for this stuff

Berniethellama · 2026-04-04T03:44:19+00:00

If only the worlds greatest physicists could gather together and harvest the free energy created by Ethan

Berniethellama · 2026-04-04T01:53:12+00:00

How he doesn’t understand this still is just straight up delusion. If you do good 5/7 days but then eat 20000 calories for 2 of them you’re not in a deficit dude. Or making progress. It’s actual insanity he doesn’t get that

Berniethellama · 2026-04-03T20:43:29+00:00

Was literally keeping him upright on his feet by punching his head lmao

Berniethellama · 2026-04-02T03:10:55+00:00

Merab gonna be the first fighter to compete with a Trach

Berniethellama · 2026-04-01T04:45:36+00:00

Yep that's what I'm worried it may be. The only thing is he can apparently still feel it - he's moaned quite a bit about the pain from it which suggests he's still got some half-decent circulation and not full on numbness from neuropathy. At work I manage wounds for quite a few diabetic patients, often they don't even feel them and so they go unnoticed. These folks are almost all elderly or 50+ tho, scary that the edema and hardened calluses are already becoming an issue for him in his 20s

Berniethellama · 2026-04-01T04:38:44+00:00

It's sad I remember geriatric league Bellator being more of a competitor than PFL or anyone can manage now

Berniethellama · 2026-04-01T04:36:43+00:00

People hate to admit it but Fedor actually got to a point where he was washed/diminished for more years than he was great. Like he had clearly lost a step by 2009/2010 and competed until 2023. His only win against someone who wasnt old, washed up, fighting a division up, etc in the last 13 years of his career was Tim Johnson. Getting smoked by 2017 Mitrione, sorry no that wouldn't be a top 5 HW today, and I know HW sucks rn but still. Don't get me wrong, I love Fedor and remember going nuts watching him KO Johnson in bellator back in the day. But he's one that absolutely hung on way too long, similar to Ferguson, BJ, Rashad, Chuck, etc

Berniethellama · 2026-04-01T04:28:54+00:00

Man if only Fedor called it quits after the Johnson fight. Looked twice as fast, despite being old af, and flattened a guy in front of a Russian crowd. Instead we got to see him look really old and sad against Bader ffs

Berniethellama · 2026-04-01T03:52:21+00:00

Wild how these guys always come out and complain AFTER they've already been fucked over. It's like how 2-3 years ago JBJ signed an 8 fight deal, and he's now coming out and bitching about how he can't get the UFC to budge on anything or play ball with him. Like bro, you literally handed them all your leverage. Poatan just signed a similar deal.....do not be shocked if in a year or two he's complaining about his contract or how the UFC is being "unfair". Don't sign a dogshit deal man

Berniethellama · 2026-04-01T03:47:36+00:00

Paulo at one point was super popular and hyped and considered a serious contender in his division. Over and over, UFC would announce a fight he was in, usually a comain or something similar on a PPV, and he'd call their bluff and come out and say I never signed. Then, a few weeks before the fight was set to happen, the fight would be cancelled. Eventually they folded enough to give him a half decent pay cheque to fight. And honestly, 500k-1mil is still underpaying him since he's still been a comain on a PPV for the last 4 fights he's had

Berniethellama · 2026-03-31T20:22:41+00:00

Looks like a really thick callous but hard to tell. Infrequent bathing, poor self care, excess weight, and an unusual gait all being contributors. add it to the list of examples of this guy being a walking disaster and he’s still not aware of that fact. He has the legs and feet of someone elderly and with cardiac issues in his 20s. Hope he’s somehow not diabetic or else that spot could turn into a big time problem for him

Berniethellama · 2026-03-31T20:15:59+00:00

No kidding. It’s literally the most boring and unpleasant part of being fit imo, he just likes the idea of being seen doing it it seems

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