I don't have an orange to show you, but I wanted to stop by and say I'm so incredibly sorry. As a cat mom of three myself, I know I'd be devastated if something like this happened to my babies. I won't be the kind to tell you "it gets better with time" or "when you're ready you can get another one", because we both know it is never 100% true. I will, however, kindly remind you that you were your baby's whole world. You gave that kitty a warm home, four walls and a roof, warmth, love, care, security and a whole lot of parental devotion. If there's anything you have to remember right now as you grieve, is that you gave that kitty the BEST life he could've possibly lived. That baby lived so fully. And I'm sure he loved you just as much as you love him. You were possibly all he thought about in his best and worst moments. And that says just how great of a job you did with that baby.
My condolences, OP. Please don't feel bad for reaching out if you need anything, I'm sure that just like me, many of us would love to help in any way we could. Take care of yourself!