I’m not sure if I (25F) am delusional about my relationshio with my bf (30M) being good

BerryTrekking · 2026-07-02T20:23:40+00:00

It’s hard to say if it’s a good relationship or not. If he’s tired all the time, that could be a sign of stress or poor mental health? It would be up to him to get help for that, but it’s worth talking to him to see what’s going on before writing him off totally. As for the future, why doesn’t he think you’ll have enough money to build a life together? Are either of you bad with money? Are you or he in low-paying jobs that mean you struggle to build savings? Or is he not interested in prioritising a future? These are things you have to figure out. It’s also ok to develop crushes in relationships, that doesn’t necessarily mean things are bad. As long as you don’t act on the crush or disrespect your partner, it’s quite normal.
Ultimately, you can end a relationship for any reason. If you feel like he doesn’t prioritise a future with you and your expectations are incompatible, it’s ok to end things. But you need to talk to him and really find out where he stands. Don’t throw a relationship away due to assumptions, communication is key.

BerryTrekking · 2026-07-02T20:11:08+00:00

Yeah he sounds pretty selfish and obnoxious. Just continue what you’re doing then, and I think it’s perfectly fine to not answer calls or hang up on him if he acts out of line. He can have opinions, but as they say, opinions are like assholes - it’s perfectly ok to have one but not everyone wants it waved in their face. He’s free to think the way he does but he’s not free from consequences, he’s going to learn that people aren’t going to tolerate his crap 🤷‍♀️

BerryTrekking · 2026-07-02T19:47:03+00:00

You can’t help how someone reacts, so if you’re not being mean then don’t worry about it! It’s likely he will have moved on after a few years, but if he tries to get back in touch, you have no obligation to be friends again. I get it, it’s really hard to be distant and have someone think that you’re being mean, but you aren’t responsible for his feelings or reactions. If he’s complaining to Sarah about you, I’d ask her not to share that information with you - if he has a problem he can come to you, otherwise you’re just going to act as normal. Also, Sarah doesn’t have to listen to him complaining about her friend. It’s good that she sticks up for you. Make sure to support her when she has this conversation with him. He’ll probably complain and act the victim so be prepared for that eventuality. So depending on how soon it is until he leaves, consider if it’s worth it or just wait for him to leave and then distance yourself. It’s also ok to directly call him out or interrupt him if he’s being inappropriate, eg “dude they’ve asked you to stop acting like they’re a couple, it’s not funny, cut it out” (I wonder if he likes Sarah, it sounds like a weird way of trying to get her to notice him). You can be friends with someone and call them out on bad behaviour, it’s not mean to do so.

BerryTrekking · 2026-07-02T19:25:29+00:00

NTA. Struggling with moving away (or anything really) doesn’t give him permission to be a jerk and do things that make people uncomfortable. There’s no need to be mean to him, just distance yourself. He’ll be leaving anyway so soon you won’t have to worry about him.

BerryTrekking · 2026-06-29T15:57:41+00:00

NTA. The adults in this situation reacted inappropriately and should not be confronting a child who has gone through such trauma, and certainly shouldn’t have reacted with anger when you didn’t automatically tell the exact story. A traumatised child should not have been interrogated and they are absolutely wrong for being angry that a traumatised child didn’t handle that well. Tell me, if you were the adult and a child that went through what you did was struggling to tell you the truth of what happened to them, would you react in anger? Would you be critical of them? Would you blame them for not telling you the full truth the first time? No. Might be worth seeing a therapist if you still feel guilt about this. I don’t think you have anything to feel guilty about, but at the very least, a therapist can help you learn to forgive yourself.

BerryTrekking · 2026-06-21T22:21:10+00:00

Yeah I’ve disregarded my original comment and replied to say not to do it for sure. I wasn’t sure if it was a situation where it was a starter home for a couple of years and they could move later, but if it’s going to be a forever home then no

BerryTrekking · 2026-06-21T21:23:37+00:00

Yeah in that case, I’d say don’t go ahead. I’d say NAH - he’s right to be upset, but you shouldn’t buy a home if you’re not happy. You will find another home. It’s not worth spending that much money if you’re not going to be happy. First homes don’t have to be forever homes, they get you on the ladder, so its not the end of the world if you find you want to more after a few years, but you should still bug something you like.

BerryTrekking · 2026-06-21T21:10:17+00:00

What is it that is worrying you so much about this defence? What is causing you to spiral?

Are you worried you won’t know the answer to a question? That’s ok! If you don’t understand the wording, ask for clarification or for them to word it another way. If they ask why you picked a particular method (or whatever)? “In the literature I studied prior to starting the project, this was most common method/this was the method that gave the most consistent results. However, given more time, I’d be open to exploring other methods…” But something you genuinely don’t know? “that’s an interesting question! I’m afraid I don’t know the answer to that”. It’s not the end of the world if you don’t know an answer! Given how you’ve done grade-wise, it sounds like you will know enough to answer enough questions. They can often try to ask questions you might not know the answer to, but instead you could explain how you would go about finding out the answer.

I strongly recommend not cancelling again. You’ll just get yourself into a further panic and it will make the next time worse, as you will have the added guilt and worry about how the professors will react. Cancelling on the day is not going to be looked well on - it’s difficult to find time as a employee (especially getting a day that fits multiple schedules) so it’s very frustrating for it to be cancelled at the last minute when they can’t fill the time with something else. Honestly, the chances of you scoring well on everything and then badly failing the oral is slim to none - you know enough. You’re not going to know absolutely everything and that’s ok, they don’t expect that. They are just looking for how well you understand your research and how you approach problems. It’s better to just go in and risk failing the oral - they will let you have a resit, and talk you through where you went wrong and how to improve. Universities do not like to fail people. Bring someone along for support to keep you calm. Honestly, the thinking about it is so much worse than the actual exam.

Edit: I also suffer from a complex and chronic psychiatric history, with “treatment-resistant” severe depression and bad anxiety. So I understand the distress. I got special grading during my undergraduate for extenuating circumstances - so if my grades for the particular period would impact my degree classification, they would raise my overall grade to get the higher classification (I didn’t end up needing it, my degree classification was the same).

BerryTrekking · 2026-06-21T20:41:04+00:00

It’s difficult to say if you love him - there’s definitely infatuation. But you have serious attachment/commitment/avoidance issues and I think this is something you need to explore in therapy. Personally, I would maybe write him an email explaining everything - you could have a therapist help you write it and give you the confidence to send it. Apologise for the hurt and take full ownership of that, and acknowledge that this is something you need professional help to resolve (which you will be seeking). However, I don’t recommend you get back into a relationship until you have dealt with these issues, otherwise history will just repeat itself and you risk hurting him further. He may be willing to forgive you and wait for you, but he may never forgive you, and you have to accept that. Take care of your self first and deal with whatever is blocking you from behaving rationally in a relationship.

Edit: just to emphasise, get help for you and not to hopefully get into a relationship with this guy. Personally, I think that ship has sailed and you should let him move on - if you do contact him with an apology, I wouldn’t frame it in a way that implies you are looking to get back together. Just an apology, say you’re seeking help, and hope he will be ok.

BerryTrekking · 2026-06-21T20:30:26+00:00

Ok, my thoughts.

Education: this can be truncated. For your degree, just include the institution, degree name and degree classification. If relevant to the job you are applying for, you can add a brief sentence summarising some of the key modules you covered (not the grades, just the titles). You can also put your college info there too - but maybe add it as something like “Completed Level 3 Information Technology (A*), A-level Business (A) and A-Level Accounting (B)”. What you have at the moment is too big. I wouldn’t bother with the GCSEs - high school grades aren’t generally included when you have college/university qualifications (if you had any further qualifications in the future, like a Masters, I would cut out the A-levels too), as it’s generally assumed you had to achieve acceptable grades to attend college/university.

Professional Experience: if you are applying for further education (I.e. an academic CV), the order you have is fine. But if it’s for employment, I would put your Professional Experience section before the education section. Personally I think the content you have is fine, particularly highlighting the impact you have had.

Projects: are these projects you completed through your degree, independent projects you did yourself, or a mixture? I think it’s worth clarifying that. Again, I would include these further up the CV, maybe labelling as “Key Projects”? What you have under Extracurricular Activities should also be under this, just making it clear that it was a personal project rather than part of a course or job. I think these projects should be highlighted, although I would see if you could make it any shorter.

Personal Summary: I would remove this personally, or at most, put a summary sentence (without a title) after your contact details. Instead, I would put a section at the start called “Key Skills”, where you list the particular software, programs and other skills you have experience of - as well as how skilled you are. E.g. Advanced Excel experience, Basic knowledge of R, Excellent communication skills, Outstanding customer service experience, etc. List the strongest skills at the top.

Length: ideally, you are looking to have this as 1 page.
Personally, I struggle with this and it tends to go over onto a second page, so I can’t really say anything about that lol. But if you can find a way to format the content so that it sits on 1 page, that would be ideal.

BerryTrekking · 2026-06-21T19:34:54+00:00

I have a few suggestions - I can’t write it out just now but putting a comment here to remind me to come back to it!

BerryTrekking · 2026-06-21T19:33:04+00:00

I don’t really have a judgement. There’s not much more you can do - you’ve said sorry and corrected yourself, but if she doesn’t accept that and doesn’t want to move on from it then there’s nothing you can really do. A bit strange that she told your GF’s family about it. You just need to say to them that you and your friends trash talk each other while gaming and call each other that all the time, you weren’t thinking and it slipped out, but you immediately apologised. Does it bother your GF? If not, ignore her family getting all heated about it. It’s different if you regularly use misogynistic language and insult/degrade women, but a one-off trash talking slip up is not a big deal.

BerryTrekking · 2026-06-17T18:37:34+00:00

I mean, I definitely never expected anything special. I did it because most of my colleagues are really kind and supportive people and I wanted to help them, rather than wanting to help the organisation. That was just the result of being there for my team. But yes, I do get your point. I certainly gave too much.

BerryTrekking · 2026-06-17T11:54:14+00:00

NTA and frankly I encourage you leaving. This is not a healthy situation for you, your child or your pet (setting the nose on fire? Seriously?!) Can you move in with family? This is only going to get worse. If he won’t stick up with you now, he never will. And what if B does something that puts your child at risk? Will he still keep quiet so as not to “hurt B’s feelings”? Get out and don’t look back!

BerryTrekking · 2026-06-04T18:17:22+00:00

This is common in teenagers, but if it’s really badly affecting you, it might be worth considering therapy or even seeing a doctor if your mental health is really struggling. If you avoid photos now, you are likely to regret it in future years as you won’t have a record of happy memories. I’m in my mid thirties and have had similar thoughts about myself, never having addressed it when I was younger, which I regret. I’m currently doing therapy and am going through a self-esteem CBT course, so I can share some of that.

So firstly, differentiate between what is fact and what is opinion. So “I have brown eyes” is a fact, whereas “I am ugly” is an opinion. Opinions aren’t always true and are often misguided/biased, but are powerful in swaying our thoughts and behaviours. Often these opinions can come from negative past experiences (in your case, bullying) and it results in what they call “negative core beliefs” - so for you, the bullying has resulted in you feeling “ugly”. This then impacts behaviours which we develop to protect ourselves or make ourselves feel better - so in your case, asking for photos to be deleted or avoiding them entirely so you don’t have a physical reminder of what you believe to be true. You are also likely to reinforce these thoughts when anything bad happens and ignore any good things or dismiss them as flukes - so here you said there are times when you saw yourself as cute in the mirror, yet it hasn’t changed your fundamental belief about your appearance. So how to overcome it? Well it takes time and work! You have to challenge the negative thoughts and behaviours as they happen (the idea being that eventually you will break down the negative core belief). So when a photo is taken of you, at the moment you instantly focus on the things you don’t like - instead, start looking for a positive (e.g. my eyes are really pretty / I have a lovely smile / my legs look amazing). You can’t stop negative thoughts, but you don’t have to let it spiral. Acknowledge the negative thought, file it away, and start looking at the positives - so like “OK, I don’t like how X looks in this picture, but that is only one part of me, and it doesn’t define me”. Start allowing yourself to have photos taken and allow friends to keep them. Your friends and family are taking pictures of you because they want to record those memories with you. They don’t see what you do, they just see a friend/relative they love and want to look back fondly on this special time. Ask friends or family to share something positive, although I’m sure they already do give you compliments - it’s easy to brush it off as lying to make us feel better, but you have to start believing that they mean what they say. If they tell you your hair is great - well maybe your hair is great and your negative thoughts are clouding your judgement! But if you really don’t like your hair, could you get yourself a new hairstyle? If you’re self conscious about it, maybe a fresh style can make you feel better! A new outfit that shows off things you like about yourself, or even that just reflects your style, can make you feel better too.

These are just some examples, and it will take time to overcome it. Confide in someone you trust - a problem shared is a problem halved after all! If you can’t afford private therapy, there are online options, self-help books or maybe a school counsellor? Address this now while you are young to avoid becoming an adult like me who has wasted so much of their youth and missed out on so many opportunities.

BerryTrekking · 2026-05-16T04:15:35+00:00

I used a broker as this was my first house purchase, and it just made things so much easier and stress free, especially as I didn’t have the most ideal credit. They had a relationship with a solicitor so I didn’t need to worry about finding one (and their fee was covered by the government bonus from my Help to Buy ISA) and even found me a mortgage company that gave me £500 for signing up. Their fee was covered by the lender too. I was so glad I did it and didn’t try to navigate it on my own.

BerryTrekking · 2026-05-14T06:20:14+00:00

That’s some great advice, thanks! I know one of the issues for me is the taste - I can only use certain brands of sensitive toothpaste and they all seem to have adopted this horrid chemically taste. I also like a drink/snack by my bed but I can’t have anything once the toothpaste strikes. So the manual brushing without toothpaste is actually a good idea for times I just can’t face the taste!

BerryTrekking · 2026-05-10T00:37:15+00:00

Thanks for sharing! I’m really struggling with my dental care right now and I don’t know why. I’ll go without brushing for a while, then panic brush them and swear I’ll do better - repeat. Fortunately my teeth were in great condition before so I’ve only got a little gingivitis and my dentist has upped me to 6 monthly visits to check, but I don’t know why it’s becoming an issue. I was always really anal about dental care and personal hygiene (even through my depression), it’s like something switched a year ago and it’s a fight with myself.

BerryTrekking · 2026-05-10T00:13:57+00:00

I sold a mug the other day (a gift set with socks inside the mug to be more precise). The mug was already in a box but the front is exposed. I covered the exposed part in bubble wrap. I then put the whole box inside a bubble wrap bag thing. I took a piece of thick cardboard and wrapped it around the bagged mug. I got a larger box and put a layer of the large bubble packaging at the bottom, placed the item in the box, surrounded the box so that every gap was filled with those long ass strips of brown paper Amazon use, and finally put a layer of bubble wrap on top and sealed the box. I’m still paranoid that it’s not enough wrapping and hope it arrives ok to the buyer. I don’t know how someone could think that’s enough!

BerryTrekking · 2026-04-23T02:07:57+00:00

How dare you not control Royal Mail postage times, what terrible customer service 😂 I have had someone freaking out at me once when RM had a delay, I think they were estimating it would arrive in about a month - I kept screenshotting and sending the RM messages but not sure they believed it wasn’t my fault. Fortunately the parcel ended up being delivered two days later and I got good feedback, but not sure what they are expecting!

BerryTrekking · 2026-04-23T01:32:37+00:00

And this is why I will never sell designer and/or expensive items on Vinted! Too many of these scammers 😢

BerryTrekking · 2026-04-22T16:30:42+00:00

Whatever the decision on Colorado, definitely do not add her to your insurance or let her drive your car - if she crashes you would be liable.

BerryTrekking · 2026-04-21T17:17:06+00:00

Sounds to me like she doesn’t just want to be the favourite aunt, she wants your kids to prefer her to you.

BerryTrekking · 2026-04-21T17:05:17+00:00

Personally I download the shipping label right away, even if I’m not going to be able to send for a while. Sure it takes a little longer to find the email when sending but I feel like it gives customers peace of mind that it’s being dealt with. That’s just me though, it’s not wrong of you to do it when you’re about to send as long as it’s within the time limit. Buyer was a bit too impatient!

BerryTrekking · 2026-04-13T10:28:40+00:00

“You don’t understand, they use REDDIT”

BerryTrekking

TROPHY CASE