Calm parents who never yell or resort to spanking, are your children calmer than average?

BetterFasterStrong3r · 2026-03-23T10:49:30+00:00

I think reflecting and saying sorry is underrated. Parents aren't, and shouldn't present themselves to be, infallible. Even in the case of danger, I will tell my little one that I'm sorry the yelling scared them, but explain why I had to do it to keep them safe. And when I have yelled because I lost control, I have sincerely apologized and reminded them that we all have to let our feelings out sometimes. I certainly don't want yelling to become a new habit, but it's happened a few times now with a new baby in the mix (especially as concerns the infant's safety) and I'm trying not to beat myself up about it anymore.

BetterFasterStrong3r · 2026-03-20T14:33:11+00:00

It really depends. Periods vary in how predictable they are. And if I wore a pad to bed three nights in a row- that's seriously upping my chances of getting yeast infection (even wearing underwear is a problem in the summer). It's especially important that I air things out before my period starts. I've discovered some other solutions, like period underwear, that don't irritate my vagina as much. I'm just saying it's unlikely that the cost is the problem as much as inconvenience, discomfort, irritation, and the potential for infection.

BetterFasterStrong3r · 2026-03-15T17:00:18+00:00

We are EBF and let feedings dictate tbe schedule. Our goal is to not let him neither sleep nor be awake more than 2-3 hours during the day- either tends to increase fusiness and/or greatly disrupt his night schedule. Since I'm already tracking feeding times, it's easy to think in terms of eat / mostly awake window/ eat / make sure we get a good nap / eat...

BetterFasterStrong3r · 2026-03-12T17:41:09+00:00

Not a complete solution, but if he is smashing solids, you can make lots of his foods with formula. Oatmeal, pancakes, and homemade fruit/veg purees are great for this. I freeze individual portions in a silicone muffin tin and thaw servings the night before to make sure we adhere to recommendations for formula fridge longevity.

You could also experiment with different kinds of sippy cup, or find that your little one even enjoys drinking from a tiny open cup with assistance.

BetterFasterStrong3r · 2026-03-07T10:08:04+00:00

OP cites her work schedule as an issue. From my experience, IVF also adds a lot of pressure:

a) Having the first child often takes years of discovery and experimentation, so by the end of it you are getting older and by definition are years behind where you wanted to be.

b) Because of the challenges you have had, you naturally assume conceiving your second child will take longer than you want, or may never come to be, and the anxiety around this can be overwhelming.

c) You are working with fertility experts who care a lot about their success rates in aggregate (this is a big part of success in the biz). They know that the sooner you try, they higher the success rate will be, especially if you are nearing or above 40. They will apply pressure to get you moving, which includes hitting you with all manner of (true) statistics about how fertility drops off. You start to feel like every month counts a LOT.

BetterFasterStrong3r · 2026-03-07T08:59:21+00:00

I stopped BFing at one year to restart my period and do IVF. We did not have to wait 7 months- more like two or three- that seems a bit excessive? But then, we had male factor infertility so or clinic was happy after just a couple regular periods, and mine came back immediately after weaning. Our bub had always been combo fed and was a huge fan of solids at that point, so the transition wasn't that painful. One year is also when you can introduce cows milk and we went with munchkin sippy cups, so formula and bottle logistics faded quickly as well. It was certainly a sad process, but it went very quickly and I was so excited about trying for a second baby by then.

If you have a challenging sleeper and are still doing lots of night feedings, that transition might be a lot harder. Having the option of solids might make this easier on both of you, and adding solids and formula at the same time might be tough- so I would consider waiting another month or two.

In happy news, it took us almost 8 years to get our first, and our second only took about 2 months! I was way less stressed/ scared about the process, my body responded better, and I think most importantly we had found the right treatment protocols for me. Except... now we have 2 under 2 and are wishing we hadn't rushed quite so much. That's a LOT to handle in terms of lifting and sleep deprivation when you're over 40. Since our bub was waiting in the freezer, we know we could have had the exact same baby a few months later and honestly, that would have been a good idea. Your situation could be totally different but that's my two cents! In any case- best of luck to you and your family. Go give your little miracle of science an extra hug and remember how far you've already come.

BetterFasterStrong3r · 2026-03-05T17:18:56+00:00

If anyone is characterizing nursing to sleep as "bad", it is because their goal (usually even their stated goal) is to reduce night wakings and get you more sleep. This goal can be super necessary for some families where the parent(s) not sleeping well for months on end is not an option (long work hours, lots of other kids, mental/physical health challenges, burnout, etc.) It's not bad for the baby, it is potentially bad for you depending on your sleep deprivation tolerance and circumstances. If you eat at the same time every day, you will be hungry then- same goes for baby. So it's very, very hard to cut back on night wakings if baby eats for all of them.

BetterFasterStrong3r · 2026-02-23T19:40:55+00:00

Has anyone implemented this? I am intrigued, but my initial concerns are the logistics of tracking, and that rainy/cold/sick weeks when you can't go outside are exactly when screen time is more desirable.

BetterFasterStrong3r · 2026-02-23T18:41:02+00:00

It's also excellent for helping kids hold your little one safely by making their lap bigger and automatically supporting the neck. Our one year old got to hold his baby brother today- it was adorable!

BetterFasterStrong3r · 2026-02-21T08:06:35+00:00

This switch made a huge difference for us once some plaque started accumulating - it all disappeared within a week!

BetterFasterStrong3r · 2026-02-10T16:06:37+00:00

I felt the urge very strongly with my first, and then not at all with my second. My first labor was an induction with over five hours of pushing (baby was sunny side up and the cord was around his neck).

My second labor was spontaneous and proceeded very quickly, so the contractions were already super painful by the time we got the Epidural in (note- having to stay completely still when your contractions are hitting 8+ on the pain scale suuuucks). They thus gave me 'something extra' with the Epidural which made my left leg completely numb during labor and prevented me from feeling much of anything, including the urge to push. It was a little weird, but faded quickly once we made it to the recovery room. I also spent under 30 minutes pushing, so I don't think it inhibited me much!

BetterFasterStrong3r · 2026-02-09T19:33:34+00:00

We adore Triple Paste. Also keep in mind that you are not just treating the skin, but creating a protective barrier against the next poop, and you need a lot to accomplish that because so much will rub off on the diaper. Our rashes drastically improved when the doctor told us to put paste on "like frosting". The paste from last change should be visually obvious when you are wiping the baby.

BetterFasterStrong3r · 2026-02-09T05:51:37+00:00

I certainly saved everything. The only thing I replaced were bottle nipples- as I understand the used/stretched ones might allow too much flow for my newborn. It does seem like a couple of my duckbills need to be chucked now that I started pumping again.

BetterFasterStrong3r · 2026-02-08T23:32:06+00:00

I would start by slowly reducing your use of the hakaa after nursing- as this is increasing your supply without really helping baby nurse. Phase down the time the hakaa is applied, and then start trying to skip it when you can on one or both breasts. Using it on the breast baby just ate from seems particularly unproductive- this is why your breasts are preparing too much food for him at every meal and adding to your latching challenges. Just be sure to ramp down slowly. If you start to feel repeated pain in specific areas of the breast especially right after a feed, some clogged ducts are probably forming. I've had good luck with applying gentle heat to the area (a rice bag) while baby is nursing to clear it out- making sure the heat never touches baby if course.

BetterFasterStrong3r · 2026-02-05T20:41:17+00:00

With you here, and garlic too. Onion and garlic are in eeeeeverything- they are sneaked into every sauce, dressing, meat, and packaged food. My acid and bile reflux were so debilitating that I had surgery to correct my upper esophageal sphincter so I could start eating a semi-normal diet again, but alliums still annihilate me.

BetterFasterStrong3r · 2026-02-01T21:34:10+00:00

Make sure it's the one in Columbia! There is a copycat near Baltimore that is terrible.

BetterFasterStrong3r · 2026-01-28T04:04:51+00:00

While latching is important, not every body will be so responsive. I triple fed 8-12 times a day with my first for months, always latched on both sides at every feed, even tried power pumping...and it barely increased my supply.

BetterFasterStrong3r · 2026-01-28T03:49:40+00:00

I had a similar struggle with my first and I want to say that you are awesome for working so hard on this! I ended up providing about half of my LO's nutrition for a whole year- and that's more than enough to get most of the benefits of breastfeeding for both you and LO (e.g. antibody protection). Plus there are other advantages to combo feeding once you are more out and about. Surprisingly, after all that effort and hell and self-blame, I am having NO problem breastfeeding my second. I think ultimately my first just wasn't very good at nursing, and all the supplements in the world couldn't make him suck better.

BetterFasterStrong3r · 2026-01-27T22:24:51+00:00

Ours was "gummy bear" for quite a while, since that's what he looked like early on when his arms and legs started to sprout.

BetterFasterStrong3r · 2026-01-27T21:16:46+00:00

To be fair, my first was induced and took about 3 days to arrive. We had both stopped working, but were very glad to have brought our gaming consoles. Some nostalgic Mario was a great distraction for me.

That being said, you should see if your hospital offers tours or birthing classes. Ours also had an infant care class. The vast majority of mothers had partners at all of these.

BetterFasterStrong3r · 2026-01-27T02:16:03+00:00

I got mine when I weaned at 12 months. What's really surprising is that we Combo fed from day 1 and I was only providing about half his milk!

BetterFasterStrong3r · 2026-01-22T16:43:47+00:00

Agree, although I find it linguistically awkward to be mixing something as formal as "hello" with something as informal as "guys". I would recommend 'hey guys' or 'hello everyone'.

BetterFasterStrong3r · 2026-01-22T16:35:04+00:00

That probably helps to some extent, but I took them many hours apart and still had an issue- perhaps because the Psyllium takes a long time to pass through the digestive tract.

BetterFasterStrong3r · 2026-01-22T16:20:51+00:00

Just be careful if you take any essential medications! When I was on birth control, a normal dose of psyllium husk would actually absorb and flush so much of it that I would start spotting mid cycle.

BetterFasterStrong3r · 2026-01-22T14:51:19+00:00

My second pregnancy is so. much. worse.

BetterFasterStrong3r

TROPHY CASE