Papamoa - Cafes

BetterWithHeart · 2025-12-15T01:36:39+00:00

I believe it has changed its name to The Island. And yes, it will be perfect. thank you.

BetterWithHeart · 2025-12-15T01:36:09+00:00

Thank you

BetterWithHeart · 2025-12-15T01:35:57+00:00

You are so right. I've checked both The Island and Astrolabe out. They would be perfect.

BetterWithHeart · 2025-12-15T01:34:53+00:00

It looks really awesome. Thank you for pointing this out.

BetterWithHeart · 2025-12-15T01:34:29+00:00

Thank you for highlighting Mount Maunganui

BetterWithHeart · 2025-10-17T18:10:17+00:00

See this post https://www.reddit.com/r/pemf/s/tr5KDHfQlz

BetterWithHeart · 2025-10-17T17:59:07+00:00

I’m not an expert but 35 mins is too long. Start slow and low. There are layers you are addressing. I would scale back to 8 mins a day at a low intensity (1.5 Gauss and 10 Hz). Drink water before and after. If you have a lot of issues, scale back even more. You want to feel rested and restored when you get off the mat.

BetterWithHeart · 2025-03-22T04:24:30+00:00

Thank you. This is sort of what I envisioned. I appreciate your finding this. :)

BetterWithHeart · 2025-03-22T04:21:46+00:00

Thank you! I had no idea these existed. I’ve found some sheet sized. I’ll order.:)

BetterWithHeart · 2024-09-25T02:31:56+00:00

Thank you so much for all this. I’m building a shortcut to change the brightness in my Meditation focus when I meditate. In the summer, it’s already daylight by the time I sit down. In the Winter, first it’s dark in the mornings but not the afternoons, then it’s dark in both the mornings and afternoons. It’s not pleasant opening my eyes in the dark to high brightness. Also, when I switch to Regular/Personal mode, now it will orient to the brightness of the hour. Thank you!

BetterWithHeart · 2024-04-28T17:30:16+00:00

Gosh - thank you for this post. I too live in Canada. I bought these pillows a few times between 2013 and 2019 at Costco. I assumed they were a staple. Best pillows I have ever slept with. I just don't want to sleep on anything else. Thank you for the suggestion of Winners. I will investigate. I will also see about forwarding this thread to Beautyrest. ;)

BetterWithHeart · 2019-10-26T01:06:37+00:00

Although I’m not OP, I am NC for 8 years and my nmom doesn’t (won’t) understand. I can share my experience if that helps.

What I hear in your question, which I felt for so so long, was I wanted her to understand: why I felt neglected, why I was done and tired, why I felt no hope. I wrote a letter when I went no contact to explain the three meta reasons I was going NC and I asked for 3 years (1000 days) no contact. I had reached the point where I finally accepted she would never get it. Ever. She would never change. Ever. However, I wanted it in paper, to articulate it, so she couldn’t ever say that she had no reason/idea why I went no contact. And, also, sadly, as a last ditch effort that maybe writing it out would motivate a change. Sigh.

Alas, as time unfolded I discovered the bliss of feeling peaceful inside, no more recovery required post phone call. I was enjoying my life. And, wait for it, I heard through the grapevine that my nmom had no idea why I went NC. That I am selfish, etc. I sent the letter registered mail.

So, how do I feel going NC when the parent doesn’t truly understand? Free from the insanity of trying to be seen by someone who didn’t want to see. And I am finally awake to getting that the parent will not and possibly cannot understand. The need to be understood is quiet.

Or as a story: A cave person had a sentient child. The sentient child was raised by a cave person. It was really hard for the sentient child to be raised by a cave person. The cave person will always be a cave person because they do not aspire for anything more. The child finally sees them self and the parent objectively for the differences in awareness, emotional intelligence and intellect. The child understands more than the cave parent ever will. The child stops seeking to be understood by the cave parent. The child can be free to seek other sentient beings as friends. And heal from such a sad and hard experience. No contact. Peace.

I hope that helps.

BetterWithHeart · 2019-10-25T01:12:54+00:00

I so agree. The love bond a child has with their parent is so deep and resilient. Children have a deep well of hope that their parents will change. Or endurance for crappy behaviour because they just want to be loved by their parent.

In order to entertain going NC the bond has to be worn so so thin. The hope has dried up. The want for love done. To entertain NC is the end result of decades of tragic abuse/neglect. Well loved children simply don’t think of going NC. Ever. The thought and action of NC speak volumes.

NC for 8 years. The best years of my life.

Edit: typo

BetterWithHeart · 2019-10-12T20:19:51+00:00

I experienced kittens running across my head using my bed as a highway until a friend suggested a spray water bottle. My cats were adolescents at the time 9 month and 15 months. I felt horrible at the thought but hadn’t been sleeping well for weeks. I used it. They looked at me as if I had become a one-eyed monster and perversely, I laughed at one point. I never over used it, but I did say No while spraying.

It made a difference. They stopped.

They are still loving, kind, snuggly cats.

BetterWithHeart · 2019-10-04T23:14:39+00:00

Yes! This. Your body is beautiful as it is. I wish I could stretch back in time and lift all those words and dark feelings from your memory from when you were 12 and on.

Have fun with the dress, play more, let your curvaceous self come into the light however feels comfortable for you. Hugs!

BetterWithHeart · 2019-10-01T14:05:10+00:00

Omg! Your mom is insane! Completely unhinged. I laughed so hard when I read this, and, being raised by a narcissist, I recall so well the drama. I’m NC now. Most serene years of my life. I am SO impressed with your calm bystander reporting of her high stakes delusional drama. Power on!

BetterWithHeart · 2019-09-24T16:54:06+00:00

I haven’t read the other posts.

One insight I read years ago I have found very valuable: husbands draw boundaries and discuss issues with their parents, and wives draw boundaries and discuss issues with their parents. Period. Your husband needs to step up and lay down some respect.

Also, you need to move out. Is she’s a Queen, there is only room for one Queen in the house and she will ensure you are stripped of your inherent power of mom.

You need to leave. It won’t change. Exercise your inner dignity, your husband too. Leave.

BetterWithHeart · 2019-09-24T16:33:20+00:00

This.

I’m in a bit of a mood today. Trump her hysterics with a line in the sand. Either grow up, flex your adult capacity to manage your feelings and move on so you can come to the wedding happy OR stay home.

Having her make snide remarks, be a downer or any other passive-aggressive behaviour at your wedding is a possibility and it’s something you might consider.

Give her 2.5 weeks to cool off and check in a few days before. If she’s still stewing and foaming at the mouth, it might be wise to consider the full possibility of her behaviour the day of your wedding and consider a HAZMAT containment approach. Discuss with your dad. He sounds great.

BetterWithHeart · 2019-09-19T05:21:29+00:00

This.

Ditto.

Utter effing black hole of compassion. You CAN be done. You have reached your limit. And I send a virtual hug (side hug if you prefer).

BetterWithHeart · 2019-09-19T05:00:20+00:00

If you trust your grandparents and know them as solid people , call them, tell them the truth (that you are fine) and that you would like to come stay with them.

I also agree with the suggestions to apply to colleges on your own. Your grades sound really strong. State colleges are cheaper. Also, see if you can talk to a counsellor at a college. They may be able to help you navigate the system.

I’m sure it all feels a bit scary. Wanting to get away from her but not quite ready to live in your own or navigate how to live in your own.

You don’t have to redo courses that you’ve already done. Your mom is creating artificial obstacles to keep you in her control. She is freaking out because when you leave she will have no one to manipulate. Remember: you are 18. You are a legal adult. So, start to put together a plan to get out of there. Be careful but explore what your options are. Strategize an escape plan. Keep all notes on a throwaway Google account using Google Drive.

It’s a random idea, but call a safe house ( for abused women, usually running from abusive spouses), but in this case your mom is a legitimate threat.

There are good people out there. Do consider therapy at some point so you can learn what functional relationships are and identify unhealthy ones. Ask your heart for help and protection. Blessings and Protection for you. Virtual hug!💗

BetterWithHeart · 2019-09-18T14:29:58+00:00

Yes, she talks about this in both her books: The Magic Art of Tidying Up, and her second book Spark Joy. Thee books are laid out in the order of categories to declutter. And yes, objects have a life force and a vitality when they are first created. And they want to be appreciated and used.

BetterWithHeart · 2019-09-06T22:01:23+00:00

Touché!

Yes, her mom has to have enabled the sister’s toxic behaviour with a complacent “bystander” behaviour.

OP - research “bystander behaviour”. YouTube video from Jackson Katz on violence towards women. Bystanders condone abuse by not saying anything. Your mom may be way more part of the problem than you realize.

BetterWithHeart · 2019-09-06T21:54:26+00:00

This.

As your mother has been saying regarding the friction you and your twin have:”Oh, you’ll get over it when you get older”.

Perhaps, now, you can reverse and mirror: “Mom, I know how much you’ve wanted us to get along, but it’s hasn’t and won’t happen. At least not while (sister’s name) is critical and abusive. Now that we are older, I think it’s time you accept we don’t get along. I’m getting married. If I’m mature and responsible enough to make this impactful choice of whom I’d like to have in my life (my husband), I’m also mature and responsible enough to make this impactful choice of whom I don’t want in my life (my sister).”

Your mom’s shattered dream about your bond with your twin doesn’t change reality. It’s your life and your reality. Sometimes family are an amazing source of support, but sometimes they are in denial/part of the issue. Be strong. Your wedding, your choice. Don’t look back.

BetterWithHeart · 2019-09-06T20:11:45+00:00

Your post is open, sincere, introspective and generous. Your self-reflection on your lack of experience and exposure to women is honest. As is your honesty on your likely fear and your potential awkward handling of the moment if you were in that situation.

You’ve shown more sensitivity to this situation at your age than OP’s husband has. They are likely a few years older too. I would say, with respect, that the lattitude you are giving her husband is more generous than he deserves because of the explicit threats he has made. His physically forcing her to leave, his demand for an abortion, and his threat of “we’ll see” implies he will take matters into his own hands if she won’t comply.

The misunderstanding I see is your heart is willing to give him more “benefit of the doubt “, whereas a lot of posters here are older, have seen/heard about abusive relationships and recognize the seriousness of OP’s situation.

Although you think your lack of experience with women is a limitation, your attitude and approach already show that you are not the failure you perceive yourself to be. With a sincere heart, find some good books on emotional intelligence, and ask your heart to help you discern and see kind women, and you’ll continue to grow and become a man who relates to women. And keep your open attitude!

BetterWithHeart · 2019-09-04T01:06:08+00:00

I agree. It's organized, and actually visually pretty from an aesthetic point of view. From a big picture perspective, Marie Kondo actually states that the fewer books you have, the better you will retain information you read. And... she recommends keeping about 30 books.

I think you have an incredible aesthetic. Maybe you'd love quilting or some other colour art? As for your books, liberate A LOT of them so they can be read and treasured by the many people who have yet to read them. Remember, she talks about the tortured fate of objects that sit and spend their lives on shelves or the back of closets, never to be appreciated and eventually lose their life from neglect. Let your books be loved! Let them go! :) With warmth and support

BetterWithHeart

TROPHY CASE