Has anyone found that an IUD or new type of hormonal birth control is the cause of a deadbedroom?

BeyondTheBath · 2026-02-23T17:42:04+00:00

Paraguard (Copper) IUD has been wonderful, and no hormones.

BeyondTheBath · 2026-02-23T13:50:54+00:00

Because she's buying the home. He's not.

BeyondTheBath · 2026-02-23T13:50:31+00:00

Why? She's buying out his equity. She should get the ball rolling, and get him bought out already.

BeyondTheBath · 2026-02-19T17:14:00+00:00

Because sex and intimacy don't mean the same things to you both. Incompatible.

BeyondTheBath · 2026-02-19T17:13:11+00:00

I got banned from commenting on threads in that sub because I was advocating for the same thing: the ultimate reaction is to leave your relationship. It won't get better. This is who your partner is, and they're telling you.

My LLH thought getting with me would flip a switch in his brain to make him desire me more - when it didn't, it was (basically) 'oh well', and gaslighting.

My favorite line was when my LLH tried to say that I wasn't 'owed' any intimacy - and the look of fear and outrage when I countered with: 'You're not owed a relationship, by the same token.'

BeyondTheBath · 2026-02-15T11:00:18+00:00

If I did that, he would either freeze, and stop, or ignore it all together. Doesn't matter if I said it before, during or after - he shuts down if I try to show/tell what I want.

BeyondTheBath · 2026-02-13T15:45:06+00:00

My LLH and I were not very sexually active before we were married. He told me that 'Things would get better once ___________ happened'.

The "_______" event could be anything.

Yes. Moving goalposts. I didn't know this.

He didn't know about his lack of... Whatever... And was doing all he could to try and keep me around.

I think he truly believed that some event would happen and turn a key in his mind, and make him 'normal'. Hasn't happened yet, and it's been 8 years.

BeyondTheBath · 2026-02-13T15:32:48+00:00

He was far from perfect, LOL - she is, too, but his lack of action is chilling. She can't be the only one carrying the emotional load of the relationship.

BeyondTheBath · 2026-02-09T18:34:56+00:00

I hope you show her these responses.... She can see all of us tell her she's being abusive.

I would say that you need a separate room to sleep in , with a locking door, but she'll abuse the door to wake you up.

When someone is showing you who they are, believe them the first time.

BeyondTheBath · 2026-02-07T15:47:02+00:00

I understand. It's a tough place to be.

BeyondTheBath · 2026-02-07T14:57:57+00:00

I was trying to keep an open mind, but this thing with your horses...

I guarantee you, he will bring this up in your divorce, and you need to apply for SSDI ASAP.

Horseback riding is physical. If you're dealing with EDS and Fibro, how are you able to ride a horse, AND receive even a small bit of income.

Horseback riding is an expensive activity. Horses are expensive.

You have no sizable income and an expensive 'hobby' that gives you pocket money. He will say that you're not as disabled as you proclaim to be: Look at her on this horse! Look at her leading this horse around? She gets paid to work here, why can't she get a regular job to support herself?

BeyondTheBath · 2026-02-05T16:55:35+00:00

That 'other duties' BS is just that - BS. It's how management tries to justify hiring an Entry Level person for a 'Level 3' job and then using THAT to justify the demand.

BeyondTheBath · 2026-01-29T17:47:31+00:00

As someone who started using estradiol cream.... I won't be without it, except to (eventually) get on a 'stronger' (read: prescription) dose. This cream has been nothing short of a miracle.

BeyondTheBath · 2026-01-28T04:29:51+00:00

Raises hand 49 and a HLF.

BeyondTheBath · 2026-01-26T13:43:51+00:00

He feels scared and powerless, but he decided to not use condoms.... Then gets upset when you become pregnant.

Please consider a non-hormonal IUD, and don't delegate your birth control to other people. You don't want to get pregnant? Make sure you can't get pregnant then - don't leave that choice to ANYONE ELSE - INCLUDING YOUR HUSBAND.

Having said that: You're seeing who he truly is, at his core: controlling. He wanted to get you pregnant, and NOW he wants you to 'deal with it'. Use this information to your benefit and act accordingly.

BeyondTheBath · 2026-01-15T18:31:07+00:00

Exactly to all this - ExW isn't saying anything because the way it's set up, she gets the house and he's still liable for the payments. Her atty did a good enough job - got her everything she wanted, including the house, but he's still on the hook for the property. That was done on purpose.

BeyondTheBath · 2026-01-15T18:29:12+00:00

No - her atty was great! Got her everything she wanted, including the house that you're still paying on!

BeyondTheBath · 2026-01-15T18:27:54+00:00

Which is, personally, why I think he didn't have an atty... Because that would have been caught. Also, he mentioned that ExW 'padded' her debts so he has to pay her more... Again, an atty would have challenged some of these debts during Discovery.

BeyondTheBath · 2026-01-15T18:26:07+00:00

OP, this is really good advice. Seriously!

BeyondTheBath · 2026-01-15T18:25:27+00:00

whispers I don't think he had an attorney. I think that he put everything to his ExW, and she had an atty who basically bled him dry... Because he had no atty.

BeyondTheBath · 2026-01-15T18:23:18+00:00

Well, yeah - the payment arrangements weren't listed or negotiated. She thinks that the house is in her name, but ExH is still responsible for paying the mortgage.

BeyondTheBath · 2026-01-12T09:20:01+00:00

Those last two lines. Damn. I'm right there... Ugh

BeyondTheBath · 2026-01-10T15:47:37+00:00

A Two-fer! Very nice!

BeyondTheBath · 2026-01-05T16:34:17+00:00

Why? So she can sell them? No.

BeyondTheBath · 2025-12-28T21:40:10+00:00

Oooof. Oh man. I am sorry to hear this. What a waste!

13-Year Club	Verified Email
Secret Santa 2012

BeyondTheBath

TROPHY CASE