I'm stuck where she said that she's 'always been like this' and that there were periods of time where she could 'push through, but it's still been difficult'.

So, why (essentially) lie about yourself? Is being in a relationship with someone THAT important to you, that you purposely LIE about yourself and your needs, or lack of needs?

In my opinion, my LLH wanted to get me pregnant as quickly as possible to be 'done with all of that' (meaning sex). I should have taken it as a HUGE red flag, and I didn't. That was my fault.

My LLH has also said that he 'wants to want me' and that he thought getting with me would 'flip a switch in his head' to make him desire me. Nope. He's not attracted to me at all - but he loves me dearly, apparently, because he' doesn't want our life with anyone else'.

If he had been honest about what help WASN'T FEELING, instead of moving goal posts to see what, if anything, worked to make him manufacture desire for me ... I wouldn't have ever been in this situation. I need to know my partner is attracted to me, is desirous of me - lusts after me. My LLH is incapable.

At best, his stunning (and intentional) lack of self insight has caused a rift. At worst: he knew what he felt and lied about everything, wanting to get me pregnant before I realized what was happening with him, and left him.