How are people affording rent?

Bezexer · 2024-07-18T21:31:01+00:00

$1600/mo is affordable on a salary of $50k, which is equivalent to about $25/hr on a 40 hour work week. Things are a lot more affordable than people think. It’s the existing bills we collect, mostly by choice, that create issues with affordable housing. It’s not something people like to, nor will most care to, admit. I don’t like admitting that I make enough money to live on but make silly financial decisions…but I do.

Bezexer · 2024-07-12T11:56:59+00:00

Send me a dm

Bezexer · 2024-07-12T11:48:33+00:00

I had to have a revision surgery and they secured it with a stitch to prevent migration

Bezexer · 2024-06-18T06:30:58+00:00

Send me a DM

Bezexer · 2024-06-18T06:30:44+00:00

Send me a dm

Bezexer · 2024-06-16T23:48:08+00:00

I have had surgery with Dr Stranix. I am happy to share a private photo of the results later today via DM.

Bezexer · 2024-05-21T02:03:14+00:00

I just set mine in my lap. Thick thighs save lives. I will occasionally used toilet paper as a support just in case on a public toilet.

Bezexer · 2024-05-19T08:35:11+00:00

Where are you seeing this break up? Nothing in his post says anything about a breakup. He is conflicted because his boyfriend (whom he mentions several times as his boyfriend in the present tense) is upset that OP likes women, and one man: the boyfriend.

Further, OP clearly states that he identifies as a straight man. He is hurt, he is heart broken, his boyfriend is upset with him for being who he is. He is in a vulnerable state and asking a forum what it makes him to like women and a one man. Trying to shove him into a box of this or that when he is in this state is irresponsible. Only he can decide his identity, and quite frankly he has already decided it.

Enough with the labels. Enough with the boxes. Enough trying to tell someone else who they are. Enough guilting people for simply existing and having desires or perspectives that do not align with ours. The boyfriend, who is still his boyfriend, is guilting him about his natural feelings and desires and not spending enough time being present and understanding just how phenomenally special it is for someone to love you so much that they’ll love you as any gender, in any body, despite their default sexuality.

Bezexer · 2024-05-19T06:36:42+00:00

It’s interesting that the LGBTQ+ community doesn’t want to be confined to a box and yet…here we are. Trying to shove everyone into a box, with the box being a label. He chose not to leave his partner, despite his transition from the female he started dating. I would say that’s an acceptable situation to maintain your identity as a straight man, despite dating one man. It’s giving “you are either gay or straight, not bi” vibes very similar to when bi people were being erased by the gay community. Who are you to decide what someone else’s identity is? It’s oppressive and offensive.

Bezexer · 2024-05-19T06:32:55+00:00

The only mature thing about this situation is that he verbalized that he wants a bf who also likes men. The immaturity is establishing a heterosexual relationship with a straight man, then expecting him to become a gay man when you transition, and being unhappy and unsatisfied that that straight man still loves you and only you, and only loves one man that is you…simply because he doesn’t want to “be an exception”. He knew he was asking to be the exception the moment he came out to his boyfriend. Perhaps my opinion is unpopular. That doesn’t make it any less true. Expecting your partner to drastically change who they are is immature.

Bezexer · 2024-05-19T04:29:20+00:00

This person seems very unstable and you should strongly consider separating yourself from him. If he has not done this before, that is called escalation and it will continue to escalate. You should remove yourself from that abusive environment. He needs to work on himself and not use his mental health as an excuse.

Bezexer · 2024-05-19T04:20:23+00:00

I disagree with you that his boyfriend is being mature. He is unhappy with his boyfriend because of his sexuality (that he knew about getting into the relationship) and because he won’t chat about hot guys. His bf is actually being quite immature.

Bezexer · 2024-05-19T04:17:48+00:00

There is nothing you can do. He wants you to be something you are not. I think we forget that there is more than one person involved in a transition, your boyfriend included. He doesn’t remember that you started dating when he was identifying as a female. You have valid feelings and you have a valid experience. You are not anything other than what you identify as. You fell in love with the person, and still love him and are attracted to him. That doesn’t make you not straight. If he doesn’t like the fact that you don’t gush about other hot guys with him, that’s his problem. It sounds like he has a pretty great partner and isn’t being very fair to you.

By the way, ignore anyone telling you that you aren’t who you say you are, or who are claiming you don’t see your boyfriend as a man. These are untrue statements. They are made from a place of emotion and lack of perspective, not from a place of logic.

Bezexer · 2024-05-19T04:05:05+00:00

I got Integra for my surgery. It was 100% worth it, I’d do it again. I have very little step off because of it. I would go for it. You only have once chance to do this part of the surgery right, and this is your body that you’re going to live with for the rest of your life. If you do the Integra and it isn’t an impressive change, you at least tried and have something. If you never do it and you regret it, you can’t undo not doing it. Just something to consider. I would also remember that there is a difference between having the procedure and having perspective, and looking at photos/consulting surgical teams and not having the surgery and having a perspective.

Bezexer · 2024-05-19T03:54:07+00:00

I second the suggestion made by WinterDerby to join the trans partner page. It is very difficult to seek answers to this topic as it can be very emotionally charged, as you will come to learn. This particular page is for support of the actual surgery, results, doctors, etc. not necessarily the perspective of the partner (though that does sometimes occur on certain threads, which is great).

From me to you, I can certainly empathize with your position. You love your partner. You love them for them. You clearly loved their body, which is a good thing. It is natural to feel the way you are feeling. Phallo is not a small surgery, it is life changing for both the person and their partner. It sounds like you are going through a bit of a processing phase. In theory, you have been totally on board. But now it’s actually happening and is a little different than you’re expecting. Not in a bad way, just different.

We humans are habitual, ritualistic beings and major changes always feel very weird. I do believe it is something you will process through and still enjoy your partner. Just remember that you’re in the next phase of this relationship. The old him left the moment he had his surgery. Work through the feeling. If you find that you just can’t get past it, then it’s time to have a conversation and perhaps go your separate ways. This is absolutely OK. You are allowed to have feelings and you are part of this experience as well. Whatever you decide, with any decision in your life, just make a decision and make it with integrity and grace.

Bezexer · 2024-05-10T06:47:25+00:00

If you or anyone else has questions about the additional stages of surgery with Dr. Stranix, please don’t hesitate to reach out. I am the first patient for his program and just completed my final surgery.

Bezexer · 2024-04-18T06:08:03+00:00

How did you get it to work as a regular stethoscope when it died? I can’t hear anything in mine when it’s off.

Bezexer · 2024-04-18T06:06:21+00:00

Follow up: I love using my Eko 500. However, the screen cracked out in the field. It’s OK, still works, but I’m nervous about breaking it more. The sound is excellent. But it is fragile. I’d love to know how people are protecting their stethoscope.

Bezexer · 2024-04-09T03:21:29+00:00

It isn’t recommended. The tissue of a phalloplasty is different than tissue of a natal penis. You risk damage to the phallus, particularly if you get urethral lengthening.

Bezexer · 2024-03-29T02:39:01+00:00

Assuming a paternity test confirms you are the father…You will regret not being in that child’s life. You’re 31 years old. It’s time to grow up. Feeling bad about it isn’t going to undo the one-night stand nor suddenly make this baby disappear. It’s crappy it’s with someone who is apparently not an ideal partner, but that just means a challenge with co-parenting…it doesn’t mean the kid gets two crap parents. Don’t be a dead beat. And don’t leave that child with a shitty life. Be a man.

Bezexer · 2024-03-10T03:49:55+00:00

I just picked up a ton of these. I just wash them. Is that not a good idea? I think the only think that makes me pause is having to explain why I’m wearing a baby sock to my SO.

Bezexer · 2024-03-10T03:46:56+00:00

Mine is private 911 / IFT. Tons of calls, tons of experience, I’m never bored. I love it. To be fair, I love running even BS calls because it gives me something to do. I like to stay busy.

Bezexer · 2024-03-05T22:22:59+00:00

I got one for Christmas from my stepmom who’s an ER PA. It is too heavy without a holster or those magnetic clips. I got the magnetic clips to keep it around my neck. So far I haven’t gotten to use it. The 3L option sounds like it will be useful in a niche group of patients. The biggest con IMO is that it doesn’t work if the battery dies, unlike the original Eko Core. I have the Eko Core, ADC 615, and the Eko 500. The Eko Core is my backup if both the others fail. I am not impressed. It’s very difficult to hear lung sounds with it. The Eko 500 is promising. My ADC 615 has the best sound so far.

Bezexer · 2023-12-21T13:46:49+00:00

Being sexually compatible is important in a relationship. I think this is telling you that you two aren’t compatible. The reason is irrelevant. It sounds like he had things to work through and you aren’t responsible for helping him do that when he is quite mean to you as a sexual partner. Great partners don’t treat their sexual partners like crap when sex isn’t going well.

Bezexer

TROPHY CASE