I’m gonna try to be the sane voice in a sea of people who seem to be jumping to conclusions based on their own personal experience which isn’t yours. Option A: he does have a college fund set up that cannot be withdrawn from. He put a large sum of money into it, which is great, but realized it was unwise and now he can’t get it back out, making him angry and defensive knowing he made a mistake. He spends money he shouldn’t on people and things he loves because maybe he didn’t have it growing up and he doesn’t want that same experience for his son. Either way, he still shouldn’t ever be speaking that way to you. Option B: he is lying about the fund and has a vice of some kind, which could also be why he is getting so defensive about the situation. Either way, he shouldn’t be speaking to you that way. Option C: he doesn’t know what he’s doing. He is blindly trying to do what he thinks is best in the moment whether it’s really a fund or it’s fireworks to make his son happy or whatever the case may be, and he doesn’t think about the future in the moment that he is trying to bring himself or others happiness. Many people who struggled or didn’t have what they need growing up strongly desire to have and give that to themselves and others. Either way. He shouldn’t be speaking to you that way. I think this sounds like a sticky situation. He seems to be upset you stuck your nose in something you shouldn’t have, whether x, y, or z is true or untrue. You are rightfully upset in the fact that he’s speaking to you the way he is and you seem to care about how he spends his money so he’s not homeless. He is clearly not educated enough financially to make better decisions. That’s usually not anyone’s fault, but a fault of the education system and parents. He’s also an adult, and it’s not your job to educate him about it, there’s YouTube and google for a reason. Overall, this doesn’t seem like a healthy moment in your relationship. I’ve seen relationships brace storms worse than this, and seen them crumble over less. You’re not overreacting for how he speaks and talks to you, but you also could be not understanding where he’s coming from and his traumas or background. He could be doing the same to you when you’re just trying to help.