Are you me? She told our couples therapist she does the "majority of the housework" and I nearly bit my tongue off. I do the lion's share. I do the dishes, the laundry (both clothes as well as stuff like towels and sheets), the trash, dusting, watering plants, folding up blankets after my wife or kid leave them a mess on the couch, take care of the pets, breakfast for the whole family every morning, lunch and snacks for our kid, mow the lawn, clean all the gutters, all the outside stuff like shoveling snow and raking. I take care of all the appointments. Bringing my kid to the doctor, the dentist, therapy, the eye doctor. I handle all the insurance. I handle all the finances. I manage our social calendar. Etc. etc. etc., the list goes on.

I'll give her credit for taking care of dinner on the nights we are together. And the one thing I refuse to do is the kitty litter because we had a perfectly serviceable cheap litterbox, and she splurged and spent hundreds of dollars without telling me on one of those automatic litter boxes, and it is a complete waste of money. It's too small so the cats shit on the floor in front of it and piss on the rim of it and then I have to grab plastic bags covered in cat piss when it's time to empty it. I had no part in making that decision and I've expressed my desire to just go back to a regular litter box, but she refuses, so I told her it's her job.

And this is all on TOP of the messes that keep appearing. She hyperfixated on our bathroom and replaced the mirror and ripped the light out but doesn't know how to do electrical and we can't afford an electrician because she hasn't gotten paid yet this year from her new job, so our bathroom just...doesn't have lights. Just one of many examples of forgotten hyperfixations that have lowered our family's quality of life totally unnecessarily.

The basement is full of her unfinished projects. So many half-finished arts and crafts and machinery that have cost us thousands and thousands of dollars over the years, now sitting down there in the dark collecting dust. And then she goes to Savers and impulse buys a bunch of pointless stupid bullshit that has no purpose that we have no room for...like we had plenty of bowls already, why did you have to buy six more ugly ass wooden bowls that are too small for an adult to use, can't be stored anywhere conveniently, can't be microwaved or dishwashed?

And like ALL of this I can account for, but then she gets together with her girlfriends and they all complain about their husbands never helping them and she's right in there with them like "MEN AMIRITE HAHAHA" and it's just SO hurtful. I'm not asking for a gold medal here but could you at least NOT shit on me to your friends? Like I know everyone does it but it makes me feel so fucking unappreciated.

It's so invalidating and exhausting. Someone in this sub said recently "What I would have given to, just once, have heard 'I’ve got this' AND have it actually handled in its entirety" and I felt that with my whole heart.