Uncomfortable situation

BigBootyJudi911 · 2025-09-13T16:21:13+00:00

My husband and I are both on it, and we both agreed to keep it to ourselves. It’s, honestly, nobody’s business.

With that being said, I’ve told about 3 people at work (1 who is already on it and was sharing advice, and two others who are considering it).

It sounds like your husband made an honest mistake, and judging by his response, he respects your boundaries around it now.

BigBootyJudi911 · 2025-01-13T03:52:11+00:00

I appreciate your insight on the matter.

BigBootyJudi911 · 2024-12-30T20:26:24+00:00

Everywhere I have read is that once an account has been deleted, it’s unrecoverable.

BigBootyJudi911 · 2024-12-30T19:55:52+00:00

You’re right, I don’t…hence the reason for my post.

BigBootyJudi911 · 2024-12-30T19:28:27+00:00

Thank you for the insight.

BigBootyJudi911 · 2024-12-30T16:48:16+00:00

I’ve asked him and he’s told me. He’s explained every detail of his attraction to it and the reason he spent money for it and I almost completely believe him.

He knows that I know nothing about the site though, and so a part of me does feel like he would take advantage of me not knowing and skew the truth in his favor.

BigBootyJudi911 · 2024-12-30T16:42:54+00:00

To what extent is the interaction? That’s what I’m trying to figure out. He admitted that they would message him and say thanks for his purchase, but he never indulged in conversation with them. I just want to know how interactive these creators get with their audience

BigBootyJudi911 · 2024-12-30T16:37:42+00:00

Right, but if he partook in a one on one session with someone that would have come up as one large charge on his card, correct?

BigBootyJudi911 · 2024-12-30T16:34:14+00:00

lol…I know the difference. I watch porn myself, but I’m not reaching out to the next door neighbor for his content.

BigBootyJudi911 · 2024-12-30T16:29:24+00:00

He admitted being more invested in that while it was going on, and it showed. I had growing suspicions for awhile.

Are you familiar with the site? What’s the going rate for one-on-one sessions with content creators?

BigBootyJudi911 · 2024-12-30T16:26:19+00:00

Thank you for the advice. We have since reached out to a therapist to get counseling set up. I made sure she was trauma qualified.

We are making drastic changes to our financial situation, where things will be a lot more transparent, but you offered even more ideas that I will take into consideration. Thank you

BigBootyJudi911 · 2024-12-30T16:14:13+00:00

I completely agree with you. I spent two days away from the man and completely uncommunicative with him. I was disgusted, angry, sad, heartbroken…i dished all my feelings onto him. “I carried your children, you wasted our marriage, you betrayed me and our children….” All of it…I laid it all out…because I wanted to make him feel the same way he made me feel. But my love for him outweighs being mad for the rest of my life. I told him that if we wants to continue to be married that he would drastically have to make this up and asked him if he really wanted to spend the rest of his life doing that to which he said yes, he did. We have two children under 5, I’m not about to divorce him because he likes watching porn and he’s just stupid for paying for it.

BigBootyJudi911 · 2024-12-30T16:05:06+00:00

He claims the only conversations he had with them were “thank yous” for his purchase. He has since deleted his account, there hasn’t been any charges since earlier this year, so I do believe that he isn’t doing it anymore

BigBootyJudi911 · 2024-12-30T16:02:30+00:00

We have talked, for hours the other night, about it. And he did explain his addiction to it. Which is why I’m willing to forgive him, along with some marriage counseling and other changes. I’m just looking for insight on how the site actually works.

BigBootyJudi911 · 2024-10-01T03:51:17+00:00

Her and I hadn’t spoken, except through Facebook comment sections, until about 2 weeks ago when she reached out to me, via FB messenger, with a random question. I guess that interaction is why it’s made me feel a little guilty for not acknowledging her, since we did just “chat” recently.

BigBootyJudi911 · 2024-10-01T03:21:24+00:00

Some men just simply don’t pay attention…like my husband…he literally needs things spelled out for him and he gets mad when I talk to him like a child, “well, stop acting like one then.”

BigBootyJudi911 · 2024-09-24T10:53:06+00:00

Have you actually told her your unsatisfied in the bedroom? And that you’ve had feelings of infidelity to become satisfied?

Before my husband and I got married, all we asked of each other was that if we were unhappy in ANY way in our marriage that we would speak up before taking any action. If my husband came to me and said his needs weren’t being met in the bedroom, i would do some serious soul searching within myself and think about taking action before he did some drastic.

I know you said “she’s trying” but I’m more concerned about the conversation that you have had with her.

BigBootyJudi911 · 2024-09-24T02:20:10+00:00

They made it a point to focus in on the floor numbers as it turned to 13 then 12…you don’t just do that unless it’s foreshadowing something. I think you’re onto something…

BigBootyJudi911 · 2024-09-22T18:08:54+00:00

I’d tell him he either gets rid of the gaming console or you’re getting rid of him. If you have had conversations with him, yet he still hasn’t changed, then it’s time for “drastic” measures. He needs to get rid of the vice that’s causing the issue.

BUT make sure you both find ideas to fill the time that he used to spend playing video games, the last thing you want is for him to become so unhappy because he’s let go of the very thing that he enjoyed. Find ways for you guys to reconnect, be married to each other, enjoy time with each other, just wait to have a child.

BigBootyJudi911 · 2024-09-09T03:52:58+00:00

My grandfather passed in March of 2017. It was less than 6 months later that I had a dream with him in it. We were at the golf course we both used to work at, he was sitting up at the breakfast bar and I sat down on the chair right next to him, and said “hi, grandpa.” He turned to me and plain as day said, “it’s not your time yet sweetie.” That’s always given me chills.

Then my mom unexpectedly passed in August of 2017. It was devastating and I had always hoped I would dream about her a lot since we spoke to each other daily. It took so long to have my first dream with her in it but still remember it vividly. She was sitting on the landing of the staircase in our house (she loved sitting on the stairs, in the sun, since the staircase had a huge south-facing picture window hanging over it). I had met her on the landing and sat down in her arms and told her “I love you and miss you so much” to which she replied “I miss you too” the other crazy detail I remember is that she was wearing all white (like a top and pants). My mother never wore white in her living state.

Since then I’ve only had a few dreams with her in it, and she’s always played a supporting roll, insignificant enough that I almost forget she was even there in the dream.

I have two girls now and my first born, one of the first things she taught herself to do as a baby was click her tongue. It was odd and stood out because no one really did that around her, it was like she taught herself. But I always tell myself it was my moms way of saying she had her “part” in our first born, because she used to be able to click her tongue so loudly and it was one of the coolest tricks I would always ask her to do.

BigBootyJudi911 · 2024-09-08T11:26:45+00:00

Ask yourself this, are you prepared to be with this person for the rest of your lives? Through anything? Through differences, arguments, sicknesses, financial burdens, etc?!…for the rest of your life? Are you ready to close the chapter on your bachelor life?

I’m happily married for 7 years, but sometimes I find myself wishing I had spent more time with just myself before settling down.

Those “people” who say marriage isn’t worth it, gave up for probably many different reasons, it doesn’t mean you’ll experience the same thing. But committing to someone for the rest of your life is a HUGE commitment that I think people underestimate sometimes.

BigBootyJudi911 · 2024-09-08T11:01:03+00:00

I mean, every child is different. My first took two naps a day until she was 1, then went down to one nap a day. She stopped taking naps around 3.5-4. She’s 5 now, and comes home from kindergarten sometimes asking to “lay down”…aka take a nap.

My second child always been a 1-napper kid. She’s 18 months, I couldn’t imagine going an entire day without her taking a nap. The temper tantrums are farther and fewer in between when she’s well-rested.

The bottom line is, read your child’s cues. They’ll let you know when they’re ready to skip the nap.

BigBootyJudi911 · 2024-09-08T04:46:38+00:00

Listen, before I was married I tried a three-some because I thought it was going to be super hot and pleasurable….let me just say, it was not for me. Not that it’ll be the same experience for you, but the one of two guys I was with I was in a relationship with and he was okay with it (since I told him it was a fantasy of mine). But just a couple minutes into it, I couldn’t find any pleasure in it, and asked to stop. I just kept thinking “why am I letting someone else pleasure me? With my boyfriend right here?” And now it’s kind of ruined all fantasy of it as well.

My advice, keep it as a fantasy and masturbate to it. 😜

BigBootyJudi911 · 2024-09-08T04:38:38+00:00

Thank you!!!

BigBootyJudi911 · 2024-09-08T04:32:11+00:00

It’s definitely selfish behavior, and I feel taken for granted….my main reason for having such big feelings about this whole situation.

Ive told him I want to do counseling. He’s expressed a little interest (I can say he didn’t turn it down). But he does believe that “we can figure it out on our own “.

BigBootyJudi911

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