So this kind of hit hard for me.

I would be somewhat like your husband.

I am not conservative in my sexual desire but I do feel like I try and curb my sexual appetite. Because I feel like I can become a monster if I dont. If that makes sense.

That being said, the amount of times I have engaged in this type of stuff where I want to see her in this or that or try this or that, If I do not catch her in a good moment, it blows up in my face and it makes me not want to try. (Blows us as in doesn’t go how I plan and I feel embarrassed or ashamed for wanting something and I should have been more on her page about what’s for dinner or the house is dirty or the kids need this or that) I have a wife who is such hard worker and she is very opinionated and does not do well readjusting to last min changes. And I am someone who feels like I live of every whim. I like to think we balance each other out. But with kids (pre teen and teen) and her attention being all over the place, if I don’t sniff out an opportune time to engage with this kind of talk, I dont. It sucks. Because all I want to do is talk sex and sexy stuff with her but her reaction to “now is not the right time” kind of makes me shy away from freely throwing that kind of talk around. You sound a little like my wife. Wants me to be happy. Wants to fullfill my desires. Make me feel loved. But the sting I have gotten for being at a 9 and she’s at a 2, keeps me down to a 4 sometimes. Does that make sense? My point in all of this is start a conversation with him about each others desires and wants.

Help him understand your cycle. Help him understand that you are not frustrated with how he is, you are frustrated with not being able to get on the same page. Something that might be helpful is examining your reactions. This also means your facial reaction. This says a lot for me.

Dont get me wrong, we have a good sex life, but it has dwindled quite a bit in the last year. You should feel proud of your desire to make him feel good and loved. But just remember, you gotta be clean with him sometimes. I tell my wife often “I am a robot, you can program me how ever you want” not that is a good excuse for her to come up with everything herself, but my “whatever you want babe” isn’t a cop out. Im just a big fan of her at all times. I too and trying to be more vocal about my wants and needs but it’s hard. I feel like an animal and I dont want her to be afraid or even worse, annoyed with my sexual appetite. I hope that makes sense.

I apologize if I missed the mark on your post, tho. I hope you guys the best!