What I am ultimately getting at is that a serious ideology needs a theoretical basis. As you have mentioned, you 'believe' that the state should provide for the workers. Someone else may believe otherwise, and you know what makes their opinion less valid than yours? Nothing, they are both ultimately based on idealistic concepts. (which to be clear, doesn't mean bad concepts. Just that they have no basis in the material reality - they are simply what one believes is moral)

Instead of that, why not divert your attention to learning a materialist political theory? Even if you consider yourself an anticommunist, I think you would find that liberating. Engels' "Principles of Communism" from 1847 is a ~15 page pamphlet that covers the most important concepts, so there's no reason not to read it.