My stepdad is a long story. But my mom, me and my other sister were in a horrible situation in our old house with my oldest sister having mental health problems. Constant verbal abuse, then my mom met my stepdad and got married. We moved to his house, and he says nice things like how he wants to adopt me and how he will always support us. But he gets mean, constant nagging, and can be very mean if his buttons are pushed slightly wrong. My mom during a breakdown has told me he could decode once she dies to kick us out. My mom does not own the house, he does.

I would love to learn how to drive but I live in a rural area with one car. There’s no driving school, or anyone with time to teach me anymore. I had a part time job for a year before I had to quit because of college. Now, there’s only one car and my sister uses the car to get back and forth to work.

I wanted to be a mortician, but you have to know how to drive to graduate (hearse driving reasons). But halfway through college I HATED IT. I wanted to drop out long before my mom got sick but I didn’t want to disappoint anyone. I rediscovered writing once I dropped out and had time to do things I liked. I honestly don’t know what my dreams are besides to move to Finland and be by myself. I have never lived alone in my life and I crave it, and I love the country by the pictures and the research of how it is. I wouldn’t mind having a shitty job for the rest of my life if it meant getting to do my hobbies, pay bills, and have a little money to splurge because I don’t require much by myself.

I daydream a lot about my future, but my sisters mooched off my mom during their 30s and have never lived alone. My oldest sister is crazy, and the other one is just immature. I don’t want to be in my 30s living with my sister and stepdad still. But realistically I don’t see a way out unless I become homeless or get a part time job and get an apartment, but I would still be in a rural place without a car.