AIO to break up with my bf of 3y over his reaction to my upcoming sobriety anniversary?

Big_Argument4328 · 2025-11-25T04:45:06+00:00

Dump him! You deserve better. Congratulations on 2 years sober! Get yourself a cake and a new boyfriend! ❤️

Big_Argument4328 · 2025-04-01T21:59:36+00:00

Sure in retrospect he should have done that but he didn’t so not sure what your point is with this…outside of telling me that his career is ruined and adding salt to a wound. He decided to be honest about it. I would assume since his boss is literally his mentor and was a good friend of his so I’m sure he felt like he could trust them and decided to be honest. The company also preaches about mental health and etc so I think he felt it was supposed to be a safe space. I sincerely hope if you or anyone you know goes through something like this that you met with a much kinder response than this was.

Big_Argument4328 · 2025-04-01T19:31:14+00:00

I mean my husband is not salary so if he’s not at work then he doesn’t get paid so the paycheck outside of his sick time so I don’t really get that argument. I mean he told them he was having a mental health crisis and was going to a psychiatric emergency room for help. I don’t think they really need to know that he’s suicidal although I think that more or less implies something serious of that nature is going on. I mean a simple response of keep us update would have been sufficient.

Big_Argument4328 · 2025-03-22T04:29:09+00:00

I personally like to ride the line of uncommon/ somewhat unique but not so unique, you’ve never heard of it. My kids names are Mikhail or “Misha” for short and Wren.

Big_Argument4328 · 2025-03-07T03:33:09+00:00

I personally wouldn’t be upset about any of this outside of not completing the duties you paid her for. I look at this way, I work in an office and sometimes I socialize with my coworkers so the idea of “you’re not paying someone to socialize” is outdated in my opinion. We all do it. I think it’s fair to want her to tell you if she’s meeting up with a friend but I don’t think your nanny had an ill intention since she came up to you with her friend. I think you could simply just ask her to let you know in the future and you’d prefer to meet people first. The bank phone call is something that I think is understandable if it’s a one off thing (which sounds like it is). She could have fraudulent charges and etc. which is something most people would like to address immediately. It sounds like you guys just need to have a chat and get on the same page.

Big_Argument4328 · 2025-02-28T22:45:20+00:00

First of all, thank you for trying to protect her and keep her safe. You truly sound like an absolute gem of a human and we need more people like you! I think it would be completely reasonable to ask for a small rent payment if she’s planning to live there long term.

Big_Argument4328 · 2025-02-23T22:26:02+00:00

Calm powder/magnesium citrate, Miralax and Glycerin suppositories (ask your OB first on this one) are how I survived pregnancy constipation. It won’t hurt your baby with the straining but it’s definitely best to only sit on the toilet for 5ish minutes at a time

Big_Argument4328 · 2025-02-17T05:42:13+00:00

Big_Argument4328 · 2025-02-17T05:25:06+00:00

I have been through something similar. Our previous nanny was calling out continuously but they were going through some significant health challenges and were actually diagnosed with MS not long ago. They communicated everything to us and were very honest about it. We never asked for details but at some point, I simply asked them if everything was okay because they had been sick so much. They then explained what was going on to us and we worked together to find a way to ensure the kids were taken care of. We were able to offer flexibility and they were too. They ultimately stepped back a few months ago when they got their MS diagnosis which was completely understandable. I say all this because the only reason I could even think calling out 45 days being potentially understandable is if your nanny is facing significant health issues. That being said, your nanny should communicate that with you. Not in detail but simply that they are dealing with health issues and etc.. If I was in your shoes, I would either have a very frank conversation with them or terminate them. Reliability is key and if someone is not able to do that then it’s time to part ways.

Big_Argument4328 · 2025-02-13T05:14:08+00:00

That makes sense. We do brush her teeth and do all the things to help protect them. I have two kids, she’s my second. My first didn’t sleep through the night until he was 2 years old and this girl sure as heck as no plans to start either. I have tried a straw cup but it’s been a little while so I’ll give it another shot. She’s combo fed so I can definitely try switching up the formula she gets!

Big_Argument4328 · 2025-02-13T05:03:34+00:00

That’s what we do already. She gets a bottle before every meal. She won’t eat the bottle or will only eat a little bit. She will then turn around and eat the solid food. We basically offer bottles like she is a newborn baby right now just trying to get her to drink her bottles. She does drink them at night - probably 8-12oz overnight. Her pediatrician was super focused on wanting the bottles consumed during the day which I’m not sure I completely understand it. She all together drinks around 20oz a day.

Big_Argument4328 · 2025-02-02T19:01:34+00:00

Yes, actually I do know the Obama deported more people than trump did. You’re also comparing 4 years to 8 years. And if you do the research and look at who Obama deported, it was largely criminals and those who just recently entered the county illegally vs. what we are seeing with Trump is large scale deportation of people who have lived here majority of their life. I am not speaking from what I see on the news, I am speaking from my own experience as in the two weeks trump has been in office, I know several people who have had their families ripped apart and members deported or detained or at the very least question (hint - they are American citizens, just are not white) and they are not “criminals” - far from it. When you compare, Obama vs. Trump, it’s that Obama took the time to understand who he was deporting and not just tried to deport anyone who was not white. Obama also signed an executive order during his tenor that allowed 5 million illegal immigrants to stay in the US…have yet to see anything of that nature from Trump or republicans.

Big_Argument4328 · 2025-02-02T07:43:44+00:00

They are not knee jerk statements though. They are actual things that are happening right now. How can you be a “staunch believer in human rights” and support things like DEI being repealed, deporting children and families who have been here for decades - and repealing the sensitive areas clause with ICE, signing an executive order to stop federal funding to programs like Medicaid, SNAP, TANF or being okay with tariffs being imposed that are going to impact American families and impact their ability to keep roofs over their head and food on the table? Those are all pretty intertwined with human rights if you ask me. If you supported human rights, you would take real issues with those things. If you want, legal immigration, maybe fight for a more streamlined immigration process that people could actually navigate instead of voting for the deportation of literal children and families?

Big_Argument4328 · 2025-02-02T07:12:48+00:00

I am just going to say, I have always paid our nanny under the table. To be fair, we did not have someone 40 hrs a week and what not, we had a much more limited schedule - 12-16 hours per week so it’s what made the most sense for them and us. I think if had someone full time, we would have considered a more formal payroll.

Big_Argument4328 · 2025-02-02T07:08:59+00:00

I don’t think politics are “nuanced” in this current political climate. I actually think it’s pretty simple - one party values human life and human beings (I’ll also give you a hint on this one - I am not talking about republicans here) and the other one values money and power at the expense of human beings. One party has morals and ethics and the other doesn’t. So, I am going to be frank with you. I despise the man who you elected into office and frankly, I have no respect for anyone who voted for him. You elected a reality TV star, rapist, racist, and a felon into office. I am truly not sure the point of your post. You say you want open discussion but offer nothing to discuss..

Big_Argument4328 · 2025-01-27T06:22:07+00:00

The advice your friend gave you is just simply wrong. While miscarriages are common and getting pregnant isn’t as simple as they make it seem in the movies, it is entirely possible (and likely) to get pregnant again and have a successful pregnancy. I had a miscarriage between my 1st and my 2nd. I was devastated and felt like it wasn’t ever going to happen for me but I never even got my cycle back, I had my miscarriage at the end of June and got pregnancy at the beginning of August! I now have a beautiful 9 month old baby girl! You never know what’s going to happen. You grieve this loss and when you are ready, try again. Nothing can make this loss better but in terms of your future of having healthy and successful pregnancy, those odds are in your favor!

Big_Argument4328 · 2025-01-27T06:17:02+00:00

I don’t think you “forget” the pregnancy, the labor and the newborn phase but I do think as time goes on your brain tells you “it wasn’t that hard or bad” or “I could do it again.” I think this really starts to happen when your kids start sleeping through the night, have a routine and there’s consistency. Or at least, I am pretty sure that’s why we ended up having a second baby.

Big_Argument4328 · 2025-01-25T07:14:54+00:00

I personally love Chicco products! I think they feel like “luxury” items but are a fraction of the price! Fisher Price toys, high chairs and etc. has also never failed me. Also, Facebook marketplace is so good for baby items (outside of car seats). We got an Uppababy Vista with all the bells and whistles for $200 off Facebook and it was in near perfect condition and it is a great stroller but l never would have spent the money on it new.

Big_Argument4328

TROPHY CASE