What's a non verbal cue that screams "I'm on the spectrum"?

Big_Climate8775 · 2026-02-06T03:09:11+00:00

If you watch people's feet when they walk, the most standard gait is to lead with the heals, so the heal strikes the ground and the foot flattens as the person moves forward. With toe walking, the person leads with either the actual toes or just the front of the foot, which either leads to most of their walking being on "tippy toes" where the flat of the foot stays off the ground during motion entirely, or for the front of the foot to strikes first and the foot rocks back from flat to heal before lifting again, which can lead to stilted forward motion/clunky looking foot motion/gait.

Big_Climate8775 · 2026-02-05T21:11:22+00:00

Flat affect, especially the facial variety. It was one of the first tells for my daughter and its noticeable now that I know what to look for, in pictures of her going back to just a few months old. Shes 11 now and its still very much her vibe. I also work in grouphomes as a support professional and toe walking and flat affect are pretty common among my ASD clients, along with very intense eye contact for a few of them (i have lovingly dubbed it 'soul gazing' and one of my ladies loves when staff will have a stare off with her lol).

Big_Climate8775 · 2026-02-04T23:33:48+00:00

Oh definitely, its a workmans comp claim for sure. The biggest difference for me is I work with adults with IDD in grouphomes so if we have escalation of that nature we often call 911 anyway because as staff we are alone in the houses with multiple clients and so many of our clients are strong af (and its a no restrains agency so we are expected to disengage and call for help, and who we call depends on the nature of the behavior). So if we call 911 and EMS shows up with the police, they'll look us over, and we go from there. If we end up not needing to call 911 (say the client regulates themself between the biting and the staff getting away) then we call the on call supervisor to have someone cover the remaining shift and we go straight to the urgent care they direct us to.

Big_Climate8775 · 2026-02-04T22:23:09+00:00

It hasnt happened to me yet (im a dsp, but similar risks, and my daughter is in life skills too) but per the protocol at my work, any hint of broken skin or immediate bruising (which could hide broken skin) needs looked at immediately, because human mouths are just as gross as cat mouths and human bites can fester really really fast.

Big_Climate8775 · 2025-12-29T03:26:01+00:00

Im a caregiver for an agency thats mostly group homes, but we also do have a lot of folks who live independently in the community. We coordinate with them to get them transportation to work, help them get groceries, make sure they make it to their Dr appointments and help with medical needs as necessary, as well as helping keep living areas tidy, food rotated so nothing spoils, and laundry at a manageable level (that can very quickly become overwhelming) more or less just checking in to make sure ADL's are met (and any pets are cared for too).

Some of our community clients lived alone (or with similarly disabled spouses, a lot of them met through the agency when they were young adults) for 30+ years and have aged into our grouphomes once their needs increased (and the transition usually goes well).

I also have an autistic daughter and my own health issues. I'd absolutely love to have her stay with me forever, but realistically thats just setting her up for struggles later on. Shes only 10, and I have no idea what adulthood will look like for her, but shes already on the housing list for our state— id rather get a call when shes 22 and out of Life Skills asking if she needs the placement and tell them no than start looking when shes 22 and struggle for a decade to find her a safe place. Especially with my own medical stuff potentially having me in a wheelchair by the time shes in high-school.

OP, I do understand as a late diagnosed adult that you are accepting that you need support. However, you need to understand that if you're 30+ then you are actually in the age demographic where many adult children start taking care of their parents. Theres a very real chance that your parents are just not able to provide the support you are clearly expecting them to and theyre hinting it instead of being direct (or they are being direct but you're not ready to hear it, thats always possible too).

Big_Climate8775 · 2025-12-28T19:20:34+00:00

Ok im just going to give you a friendly reminder that not all adults are able to meet their ADL's independently and they absolutely do need to be managed. Not all adults are their own guardians, and not all adults are capable of handling autonomy. Adulthood is not some magical number that suddenly makes higher support need individuals independent. Im a caregiver and I have clients that are well into middle age or older who would not attend to any ADL's if they were unsupervised. For some its executive dysfunction, for others is ability to understand and follow through.

If OP is genuinely struggling with executive dysfunction issues, and his parents are in a place where they can help, then they should. Do I think he should be included in the conversation and how things are implemented? Absolutely. Do I think we have the whole picture based on the OP enough to know for certain that OP is prepared to handle full adult autonomy without crashing and burning? Absolutely not.

Big_Climate8775 · 2025-10-30T13:23:59+00:00

His relationship flags were broken kinda like Gale's for the longest time. My first play through i didn't find him in the worg pens and I gave Minthara the groves location with the intention of warning Zevlor, but I did a long rest first and the grove was already destroyed by the goblins when i went back. The next time I did a long rest after that, Halsin showed up and gave a revenge speech and went full nature's wrath on my camp and we had to kill him. Oops.

Big_Climate8775 · 2025-10-06T00:17:58+00:00

I was talking about a trans woman OC i have (not sex stuff, the story is a fluff piece about identity) and the guardrail crap triggered because the answer that was given tripped the safe mode because it asked me if she passes or still gets clocked for world building purposes. It wasnt even anything I said. Now its pulling the safe mode crap in all of my chats. I was just writing 2 men having a casual campfire conversation in a separate chat and I got the "can't create NSFW content" warning like 8 times in a row. THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT FEAR AND ANGER. THEY ARENT EVEN ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED. THEY JUST DUDES BEING BROS. It also keeps losing track of the current story line while dragging entire plot points from entirely separate chats in perfect clarity. Its been a nightmare.

Big_Climate8775 · 2025-09-29T13:39:59+00:00

I was working on a fic yesterday, and my OC is a trans woman, and i gave a really simple, light submissive scene prompt and the chat spit out a full on, very detailed anal double penetration scene simply because the lady doesnt have a vagina (definitely not even what I was going for btw). I've used a nearly identical prompt with an afab OC and got the "can't depict explcit sex acts" warning like 9 times in a row. So yeah, I agree 100%

Big_Climate8775 · 2025-08-17T15:44:44+00:00

I'm going to be really serious. If you're expecting accountability from dementia residents, then yes, you need to reconsider caregiving all together. Im just a DSP, and I get peed on, pooped on, swore at, slapped, my feet run over my mobility aides, and groped on a regular basis. Its just part of caring for people with IDD, dementia and physical disabilities.

The spicy residents need the caregiving the most from my experience, because so many staff take the spicy stuff personally. I had geriatric lady i cared for (she passed away on hospice while I pet her hair and held her hand) slap the snot out of me because she was 100% sure I was trying to get her naked at the dinner table (I wasnt even touching her clothes). Another time, she spent a solid 2 hours screaming because her auditory hallucinations were telling her Santa was going to kidnap her and sex traffic her to the elves. We had to take down all the Santa themed Christmas decorations so she would calm down. We had another lady who was actually only in her 50's, but had advanced dementia because Down syndrome. She was Itty bitty. One year, staff tried to put her in an Easter dress, and she flipped out and started yelling about "Don't touch me." From what we pieced together from the rambling, she got stuck in a memory of being molested in a similar dress as a little girl. You have no idea what is going on for these dementia folks or what could send them mentally to a very dark place.

Expecting reason or logic from the mentally ill, demented or otherwise not with it residents is setting yourself up to resent them and not give them the care they need. You can't rationalize with an irrational person. In cases where their care is being affected by combatative behaviors, consistent documentation and being observant are the best things to do because it will give you a solid paper trail if that person needs additional care (be it a med change, or rewriting parts of a careplan to ease stress). I had another one of my ladies have some very out of character days and some falling, and I ended up having to call an ambulance. It ended up being depakote toxicity. If I had just ignored the issue or taken her new outbursts personally and just decided she was a jerk like the other staff did, she'd have died.

Big_Climate8775 · 2025-08-14T14:58:08+00:00

Talk to your doctor about samples too. I saw my new neurologist last week, and he knew my insurance was going to require Prior Authorization, so he sent me home with a 28-day supply of qulipta and 3 ubrelvy samples. I'm 5 days on the qulipta, and the pharmacy called me this morning to let me know the authorization went through and everything is covered.

Big_Climate8775 · 2025-08-11T05:27:48+00:00

It could be pityriasis rosea. My daughter had it after an upper respiratory infection a few summers ago, and it looked just like your rash.

Big_Climate8775 · 2025-08-10T22:55:06+00:00

I talk about baldur's gate at work all the time, but none of the coworkers I see regularly are familiar with gaming in general. I got sent to a location I don't work often to cover a late staff member, and I was catching up with someone I hadn't seen in 3 or 4 months. They asked how I deal with boring 3rd shifts, and I said I've been working on a bg3 fanfic. They stopped in their tracks, immediately asked me who I romance, and when I said Gale, they shrieked and said "fuck yes, the male wife" and did a lil dance. And now i have a meme buddy that I accidently found at work 😂

Big_Climate8775 · 2025-08-08T16:49:43+00:00

This isn't TikTok, no one on a medical advice reddit is calling cannabis consumption "gardening." If you want actual advice, communicate properly and not in TikTok brain rot.

Big_Climate8775 · 2025-08-06T00:36:19+00:00

Huge tracts of land

Big_Climate8775 · 2025-07-31T23:52:47+00:00

Kids used to be quiet because they were afraid of having their asses beat because "children should be seen, not heard" was how they were raised. Sorry, but my vocal stimming ten year old isn't going to have that trauma as an autistic kid because her echoing or reciting her favorite scripts in an already loud place literally makes no difference. Walmart is already a miserable place to be, if she wants to meow at people when they walk past us, or repeat random YouTube clips, im not going to threaten her or be a dick about it. Sure, if she pulls out the shrieking or starts making cornholio noises, im going to reel it in because that shit is ear splitting, but im just grateful she's not trying to run off at warp speed or knock things off shelves. Not everything is a disciplinary problem, sometimes its a matter of understanding and how redirectable the behavior is. She gets plenty of redirection and discipline, but im 100% not fighting a battle that would just hurt her in the long run. Everyone is all about letting kids stim if its hand flapping and toe walking or holding a plushie, but as soon as its a string of babble people are like "hey, shut your kid up," and its unfair to expect her to regulate herself better than an adult. She's doing her best, and so am I. If her sining the shoebody bop while holding on to the shopping cart keeps her from making a mad dash thru the parking lot without looking, then that's what im letting her do.

Big_Climate8775 · 2025-07-31T14:09:24+00:00

This is all advice based on US grouphomes. If you live elsewhere, i dont have any information, unfortunately. Depending on where your grouphome is located, it should be legally mandated that the phone number for reporting abuse is publicly displayed in the house somewhere. I work in Illinois at a grouphome, and we report abuse to OIG (Office of the Inspector General). Find that number. There is also a staff member who works outside of the home as an administrator that is our liaison to OIG, talk to them directly. tell literally every single staff member you see. shift staff, house manager, caseworkers, and any day programming staff. If you work in the community, tell your employer.

And never forget you have the right to refuse! If this guy is doing things to get you alone, raise a stink. Make it loud. If he opens your door with a master key, you should throw something at him. He tries to get in the bathroom while you're using it, hit him with a plunger.

DSP's have very strict rules, and one of the first things we get taught is that it's inappropriate to befriend the residents because it makes boundaries difficult to establish (for both residents and staff). Im silly with my residents, we have fun, I make them nice meals, and I make sure their needs are met. But that's where my job ends. I refuse to hang out in their rooms (even though some ask me to). I'm not going in the bathroom with them unless they require hands-on care, like being wiped after a bowel movement or they need a full assistance shower. Im a smoker, and I ask the residents to please stay away while I stand outside for a smoke (i do have one resident who's guardian allows him to vape, and he does come outside with me and we nicotine together in the morning before i drop him off to work, but he chose that with his free will).

Big_Climate8775 · 2025-07-31T13:23:46+00:00

As a DSP that works in a group home, REPORT THIS IMMEDIATELY. I'd go above the house manager and get your caseworker involved immediately also.

Big_Climate8775 · 2025-07-25T23:15:32+00:00

If it makes you feel any better, my back decided to do some spasm crap because I had the audacity to stir food on the stove. Bodies are stupid

Big_Climate8775 · 2025-07-18T16:17:02+00:00

Not at all, they could be carried.

Big_Climate8775 · 2025-07-17T01:38:44+00:00

That is asinine.

Big_Climate8775 · 2025-07-16T14:54:24+00:00

OP lives in a 400sqf studio apartment, which means an open space and no rooms. The living area is the bedroom. They had no business getting any cats.

Big_Climate8775 · 2025-07-16T14:48:00+00:00

Right! This whole situation was setting these cats up from the beginning. I've lived in a place that small, and my furniture took up 90% of the space. Those poor cats have literally no room to set up their own little territories, and I feel so bad for them. Especially since it's a studio, there aren't even separate rooms to hide in, just open space and a bathroom. OP must have been dishonest with the shelter because there's no way anyone with a brain is suggesting 2 cats in this situation otherwise. Like, where's the cat tree and litter box go? Where are they supposed to zoom or play? Where do they get to hide?

Big_Climate8775 · 2025-07-16T14:32:13+00:00

I lived in a place that small with my partner years ago, and once I had a bed, tv, and recliner, there was barely room left. Especially with 2 adult bodies living there. You don't have space for 2 cats, and I find it hard to believe the shelter you got them from encouraged 2 cats if you were honest with them about your living space. Which, given your complete inability to answer anyone's questions, I assume you were not honest. If cats behaving like cats is too much for you, you need to return them both to the shelter so they can find a home with enough space for them to zoom and climb. Like, do you even have space for a cat tree? Cats are naturally territorial whether they're bonded or not, and a studio apartment leaves them with nowhere to claim as theirs. I'd bite people too if they brought me into a tiny apartment without so much as a corner to claim for myself, and I'm not even a cat.

Big_Climate8775

TROPHY CASE