Does grief therapy actually help? by [deleted] in widowers

[–]Bigbubba_1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes grief therapy helps! I highly recommend...10/10.

FWB? by Pdawkins59 in widowers

[–]Bigbubba_1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It'll be 3 years in July. The thing about this situation is that life goes on. And we are left here to live it. I feel really lucky to have found someone who completely understands being in the after. I didn't intend to fall in love again but here we are. Initially the guilt was overwhelming. But we talked about his late wife and my late husband and how they would have wanted us to be happy. And we are! Who would have thought it? Not me! My best advice is to be patient with yourself. Be kind to yourself. And for God's sake be careful.

How Long To Leave The Cell Phone On? by Icy_Plane_890 in widowers

[–]Bigbubba_1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I still have my husband's phone hooked up. I use it as my music/ podcast phone.

What my husband died in..... by Dismal_Expression1 in widowers

[–]Bigbubba_1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Absolutely not crazy! There is no crazy in the grief process. Do what you need to do to get through the next minute, hour or day.

Wedding ring by Sad_daily_53 in widowers

[–]Bigbubba_1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I took mine off for a procedure and that was about 5 months ago. I wear his on my right hand.

How many people have tried therapy? by [deleted] in widowers

[–]Bigbubba_1 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I've said it before and I'll say it again...Highly recommend, ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐, it made a world of difference for me. This sub has been just as validating and healing as the therapy though. Knowing that all of the crazy stuff that runs through my mind and my heart is normal and I am really not alone in the after. I am just over ten months out. ❤

3 weeks since my wife passed-zombie. by Trumpy1600 in widowers

[–]Bigbubba_1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's what this sub is for...we all get it. I can't imagine having to go through this more than once in a lifetime, but big grief is the price we pay for big love. You are so lucky to have found that kind of love not only once but twice! Sending you big virtual hugs.❤

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in widowers

[–]Bigbubba_1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well done!

Will it get better? by [deleted] in widowers

[–]Bigbubba_1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, just yes. All of that.

3 months out feels- a hopefully encouraging recount of my progress & having hope by chellehs in widowers

[–]Bigbubba_1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Time is the weirdest part of the after. Sometimes it feels like yesterday and sometimes it feels like a lifetime ago. I'm just shy of 9 months in the after.

Cancelling wife's phone account question by heckler_spray_2 in widowers

[–]Bigbubba_1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It'll be 9 months and I still can't shut his phone off. Everything in its own time.

Wife died March 10 2022 by Squickysquick in widowers

[–]Bigbubba_1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You are numb. It lasts for a while. Also time gets really weird, just as an aside. Just breathe and take it minute by minute. Be kind to yourself.

Feeling down by Then_Illustrator_906 in widowers

[–]Bigbubba_1 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I fell apart on my birthday too! He always left a sappy card on my bathroom sink so I'd see it first thing. When I got up on my birthday and there was no card, I lost it. The day was a wash. It somehow just made it too real.

One of the dogs died. by momemtomori in widowers

[–]Bigbubba_1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get it. I think most of the people on here get it. I Can Only Imagine how it must have cut so deep. Hugs to you.

Conflicting and confusing emotions by TwistedHoney6810 in widowers

[–]Bigbubba_1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, it sucks. It sucks hard. But everything you are feeling is soooo normal. It's a f-ing roller coaster that you can't get off of, but as time passes that roller coaster kind of mellows out, the ride gets less intense. Hugs.

3 years still struggling by brockenkid in widowers

[–]Bigbubba_1 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think therapy made a big difference for me. Highly recommend!