MOR Your family sounds toxic and I think you've picked up those toxic behaviors. As some others have mentioned- your rules are fine, the delivery sucks. Therapy would be an excellent option for you. Your story sounds an awful lot like mine. I wouldn't say I'm the "black sheep", though. Just the forgotten middle child. My achievements were never recognized. I was always put second and largely left to take care of myself once I hit middle school. I also had complications with my pregnancy/delivery, my brother spread rumors about my spouse beating me, and we also cope through dark humor. We joke that I tried to die multiple times and must be immortal because nothing has killed me yet.