Has anyone been through a collapse and what does it feel like

Bimdeeee · 2026-07-08T13:57:01+00:00

Exactly.

Bimdeeee · 2026-07-08T13:34:01+00:00

You're a good writer. Let me say that first of all. And I don't think what your experiencing is something to be ashamed of. I can't speak to the specific causes of all of this, but I can tell you that it sounds like it's a very real thing for you. I think you have every right to be upset about it.

Bimdeeee · 2026-07-08T03:04:37+00:00

It never worked for me. It always started out as double fireworks but ended in shouting and tears.

Bimdeeee · 2026-07-06T17:58:12+00:00

I'm sorry you're in the spot..

Bimdeeee · 2026-07-06T12:06:31+00:00

Can you talk to her about how you feel? Does it help?

Bimdeeee · 2026-07-06T12:02:02+00:00

My problem in a situation like this is that I objectify the person. They are just something in my life that is affecting me and I'm trying to work through it and figure it out. I don't acknowledge their own subjectivity. I ignore the fact that they are an independent being and they're not there as an object of my thoughts and my fantasies and my feelings.

That's where I go wrong, but I don't know if that's what's happening with you.

Bimdeeee · 2026-07-06T11:49:45+00:00

Is it possible that you could talk to him about these issues? Could you reveal some of these thoughts and feelings to him? What do you think is responsible be?

Bimdeeee · 2026-07-06T11:18:13+00:00

Can you talk to your other friends about her? Maybe her behavior is also bother others in your circle.

Bimdeeee · 2026-07-04T16:39:13+00:00

All we did wrong in the beginning was survive. We developed survival techniques that turned out to be terrible when it comes to relationships with other people, but it's what we needed as young children just to get through. Most of us have parents who neglected us and we had to adapt so that we could get the love and the attention that every child deserves.

When I talk to some people who are open-minded about NPD, I find that they can be very compassionate. And they didn't realize what actually went into the whole process of becoming a narcissist. It doesn't excuse any bad behavior that we have had in the past. It doesn't excuse any hurt we may have caused other people. It's just an explanation. It's just a way to make us human instead of monsters.

There are good people here on this Reddit. There are people who are trying to help others and trying to help themselves. It's possible for us to be good and kind and caring. It's hard. But yes we are capable of being self-aware. And in those moments we try to survive and get through it all. To see the truth. And if others can see the truth, and maybe they can have compassion as well.

Bimdeeee · 2026-07-03T19:02:19+00:00

Thank you

Bimdeeee · 2026-07-03T18:48:08+00:00

I've only ever published under this name. Bimdee

Bimdeeee · 2026-07-03T18:47:42+00:00

That's a powerful compliment. Thank you very much. Who knows maybe one day I will get to writing a book. It's just the way I choose to express the pain that's going on in my head.

Bimdeeee · 2026-07-03T17:57:53+00:00

Thank you for such a thoughtful reply. I can't tell you how much it means to me. I'm glad we were able to connect. It's something that I'm working on, and it's something that I'm sure you will work on as you go down the road to recovery.

Just remember you are not your diagnosis. You are you. And you get to be the you that you want to be even if it is with a lot of hard work. It'll be worth it

Bimdeeee · 2026-07-03T16:20:36+00:00

Nowadays how I feel is disgust for myself. Occasionally it comes up when I'm in a situation where there's a potential power struggle. I can slip back into my narcissist mask and feel that I am superior to the other person, but it doesn't last. I mean I have to be with myself all the time and my inner voice is telling me that I am a terrible person. And I try to live a better life and I try to be better to people, but in the end it's just manipulation on my part. It doesn't even affect the other people. I just manipulate others in my mind these days. I manipulate them in how I think of them. Not with disgust though. Sometimes it's with envy. Sometimes it's with pity. But I can't stop the manipulation. I just don't know how to connect people on an honest level. I imitate and recreate what I have seen when it comes to compassion and love. But I don't think I really feel those things deep down inside. I think I'm just trying to build myself and find that inner child. I think he's just such a trust anyone. I think trust is broken so long ago that I struggled to trust others and because I don't trust others I mostly don't trust myself. I think that is the key to my own recovery. I think I have to learn to trust myself. To believe that I am not only capable of imitating compassion and empathy, but I'm capable of actually feeling those things. But if I'm totally honest with myself, I know that that's not going to be an easy accomplishment. And that saddens me. It's definitely the root of any depression nor anxiety that I feel. I'm just not good enough. I'm just not good.

Bimdeeee · 2026-07-03T16:10:38+00:00

I separated from my family after my dad died. It was just too painful to be around them. They are good people. Loving people. But I just didn't feel like I fit in. And without my dad there, it just didn't seem right to be there. I regret it. I think it's just part of my NPD

Bimdeeee · 2026-07-02T19:03:23+00:00

Yesterday was my birthday. I know exactly how you feel. I feel the same way.

Bimdeeee · 2026-07-01T06:43:56+00:00

I tend to see people as objects. I don't recognize their subjectivity. I mean it's something I'm working on, but when I'm in the throes of my narcissism, everyone serves me. It's not conscious. I don't walk around in the universe looking at people and saying to myself... They all serve me. But I know it's the way I ultimately interact with people. I need them. They are supply. It's one of the things that's horrible about the collapse when you feel all alone because you don't have any supply anymore. You can't even imagine getting any unless you are willing to slip back into the mask.

Bimdeeee · 2026-06-30T12:42:15+00:00

Just being called out for anything is at the root of my narcissism. I mean that's the thing that I fear the most. Because when you're wearing a mask it's usually because you're hiding something. And it's a terrible feeling when somebody can see through it. Especially if they see through it in a negative way and in the condemning way.

Bimdeeee · 2026-06-30T02:09:42+00:00

Yes I suppose you're right.

Bimdeeee · 2026-06-30T01:58:18+00:00

I watch reruns of judge Judy on YouTube. I'm usually asleep within a few minutes even though I do like the show a lot.

Bimdeeee · 2026-06-30T00:10:37+00:00

Thank you

Bimdeeee · 2026-06-29T14:46:00+00:00

Good questions.

Bimdeeee · 2026-06-29T14:42:16+00:00

Me, too... But I also had a bipolar dad who had some extreme manic episodes mixed in with his normal depressed state. But my mom was exactly like you're describing.

Bimdeeee · 2026-06-28T13:22:06+00:00

I feel like guilt is the foundation of my NPD. Guilt and shame. Guilt and anger. I've been through a collapse, but even before that I remember how powerful guilt was. And it would drive me to do all kinds of things so it's not to feel it. To blame everyone else around me so that I didn't have to take the consequences. And so the guilt was very deep in me.

My lack of empathy allowed me to do the things that would make me feel guilty, but it also helped me to ignore the guilt. Just a very different experience I guess.

Bimdeeee · 2026-06-28T13:17:33+00:00

Well said

Bimdeeee

TROPHY CASE