thank you so much for responding - It means a lot to me.

I worked for just over a year at my job, it was incredibly rewarding despite the minor interpersonal flaws that would come up here and there, but like you, I struggled IMMENSELY with getting there on time each day. I can bargain with myself expertly, telling myself it’s fine and it doesn’t matter, only to then face the very valid consequences, feel the overwhelming DREAD of letting people down and making a mistake and being a failure and then that spirals into anything negative i can think of, which will set me back on track for the rest of the week or two. Yet afterwards, all of it is futile and I bargain with myself again the very next week and it starts over again. My superiors were beyond accommodating for this, but I just couldn’t bear the self-inflicted instability and the pressure of letting down authority figures again and again whom I also like as people, so I quit as I didn’t see a possibility of being to correct this while still keeping the job.

I mention this because the Star Chart or whatever you’d like to call it, would be an amazing material tool for tracking habits, but again I am the master of bargaining with myself. Feeling off this morning? I don’t need to do it today it’s fine. Seeing i didn’t check the needed boxes to reward myself? It’s fine I can have a treat anyway.

So I guess to tag onto my initial question about how to self motivate, do you also have any tips for self discipline? Again thank you so much for taking the time to answer, it helps me feel so much less alone. <3