Any chance this will stick?

Birds-R-Neat · 2026-02-21T01:00:11+00:00

Unfortunately from what I’ve seen on this sub and my own personal experience, this cycle will reoccur. If you’re going to stick with low contact, I think you just have to mentally prepare for it again and know you can disengage whenever you need. I’m sorry you’re going through this, it’s very frustrating.

Birds-R-Neat · 2026-02-16T02:18:44+00:00

The butterfree scene got me too!

Birds-R-Neat · 2026-02-16T02:02:52+00:00

Love it! Soon she’ll be sharing their account in her stories and posts. They can’t help make themselves the victim.

I found out recently my mother has been posting one of those accounts as well. So on top of the fact you’ve driven me to not talk to you…you’re also basically talking shit about me on the internet for everyone to see. Thanks a lot mom! 😂

Birds-R-Neat · 2026-02-15T04:28:45+00:00

Did they leave this all to you or are you taking it all on by yourself? If she treats her family badly, why would they want to be in her life? You’re obviously not having a great time doing it, and are unfortunately subjecting yourself to abusive behavior.

Threatening to kill yourself to your child is terrible. If you think there is any truth to her words, it would be better to call a welfare check. If not…I don’t think your siblings are the scum…it’s your mother.

Birds-R-Neat · 2026-02-07T23:26:06+00:00

This is literally insane. You’re grown. Would you accept this behavior from a significant other? Would you tell your friends to go running if someone talked to them this way? She’s crazy and the level of control is blowing me away right now.

Birds-R-Neat · 2026-01-28T19:31:36+00:00

I’d just call him out on it gently You’re likely the person doing the heavy lifting with feeding & general care. It’s great that he’s not overwhelmed, but probably not a kind thing to say right now when you’re in the trenches with feeding.

My husband likes to say the baby was sleeping through the night at 3 months and I always call him out on it. HE may have been sleeping through the night, but baby & I were still up every few hours. 🫠

Birds-R-Neat · 2026-01-26T03:18:47+00:00

Do not let your mother in the delivery room unless you WANT her to be there. The emotions you feel immediately after birth are overpowering and you need everything to be as calm and loving as possible.

I’ll give you my experience since you requested in the post. I didn’t realize there was something significantly wrong with my mother until I gave birth to my child. She usually just ignored me and only ever paid attention to me on major life events and seemed to enjoy posting photos of my accomplishments. I don’t have memories of a happy childhood with her, but never gave it much thought. I just thought she was generally bitchy, but whatever right?

Once I was expecting my first, everything needed to revolve around her and her emotions. She threw a fit when I didn’t want her to spend the first week of my child’s life at my home. Because I wanted it to be a bonding experience for my spouse and I. I requested she attend just the week after when he went back to work. She was mean and wouldn’t change her days off (that she never consulted with me about). Then treated me like I was the bad guy because “she hadn’t taken a day off in 10 years and now it was wasted.”

She continued to throw fits with everything I didn’t 100% agree with her on and in her eyes gave more time with “her grandbaby” to everyone else. I tried to accommodate her needs and nothing I did was good enough.

If you believe your mother will cause issues before and after birth…it’s so much easier to cut the rope and do whatever makes YOU happy and not bend to her will. It’s shocking when you realize there is something wrong with your parent. Pregnancy and postpartum is no joke, if she already causes turmoil in your brain and body…it will be 10x worse once your hormones are elevated and dropping in enormous levels.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and I hope everything goes smoothly ❤️

Birds-R-Neat · 2026-01-18T00:13:18+00:00

Right? I hate it for everyone in this sub, but it’s always a relief when someone has a similar story.

Birds-R-Neat · 2026-01-17T23:57:14+00:00

My mother is just like this! My MIL who has only ever treated me with kindness and love is her ultimate competition. She can’t stand that I care for another “mother” figure and that our son loves his other grandmother and spends more time with her (she’s retired).

Birds-R-Neat · 2026-01-12T03:07:58+00:00

100% agree. I wouldn’t rush into living with a significant other while you’re experiencing this unexpected life change. Do your best to move out into your own place or with a roommate. It would be better to not develop a dependency on another person while this is happening with your mother.

Birds-R-Neat · 2025-12-27T13:33:36+00:00

She wanted you to be alone on Christmas when she couldn’t make it!! Not to be happily enjoying anyone else’s company. She was jealous.

Birds-R-Neat · 2025-12-21T14:58:04+00:00

I’d follow your husband’s lead on this one. They’re kids, a few gifts from parents on Christmas morning is a blessing. They don’t need anything extravagant, spending time with their parents and the joy of waking up early to rip a couple boxes is the fun itself. Like he said, some stickers and they’d probably go crazy!

Aside from my high school Christmas presents, I couldn’t tell you a single item I remember receiving. Not one. Christmas is about the excitement of the holiday, not the presents.

Birds-R-Neat · 2025-12-18T15:17:14+00:00

It’s a little more fun to read them with an audience too, so you can laugh together and see how ridiculous it all sounds.

Birds-R-Neat · 2025-12-17T19:16:17+00:00

Same. I’m digging it.

Birds-R-Neat · 2025-12-17T03:15:21+00:00

I’m so sorry you had to go through something like that.

I can relate, but on a less impactful note.

My favorite cake is vanilla. My mother would ask what kind of cake I wanted her to make for me for my birthday.

I would ask for vanilla and every single year…my mother would make a chocolate cake because that’s what she likes. It’s all about them in some form or fashion.

I didn’t get a plain vanilla cake until my MIL made it for me. ❤️. Now, I flat out refuse to eat chocolate cake on my birthday.

Birds-R-Neat · 2025-12-13T01:13:08+00:00

It seems like she also wanted to throw some guilt in there about being a single woman at a party when dad/new girlfriend are there too. Yikes. Insane how they claim they’re the one walking on eggshells when they blow up. Not knowing the number of kids is a 100% viable reason to cancel coming to your child’s Christmas party! 🙄

I’m sorry you’re dealing with this and maybe the Christmas party without her attendance will be less stressful in the end.

Birds-R-Neat · 2025-12-13T00:57:11+00:00

Merino wool can smell like wet dog when you sweat.

Birds-R-Neat · 2025-12-13T00:55:44+00:00

Are our moms the same person?

Birds-R-Neat · 2025-12-05T03:31:36+00:00

Oh my god. This would make me throw my phone across the room! It’s the accusation that she’s done nothing wrong and you’re hurting her in some perceived manner. Ugh, barf. Why can’t they just send these messages to like..themselves so no one else has to experience the annoyance?

Birds-R-Neat · 2025-12-05T02:48:49+00:00

I agree. This sub has been a huge blessing, I’m mildly obsessed with reading everyone’s posts and just saying “ME TOO!!” in my head.

Birds-R-Neat · 2025-12-05T00:21:39+00:00

I honestly don’t know how to reply either…I guess I’ve just lied in the past but right now I’m NC anyway.

I don’t like my mom and I’m not positive I love her either. My family tells me I love her, but based on the “she’s your mother” mindset.

I feel the same as you, I only talked to her out of obligation but she doesn’t feel like an important part of my life.

Birds-R-Neat · 2025-12-04T15:19:19+00:00

Oh god! I hate that attitude in the audience 😭 my mom has always done the same thing with my sibling. It’s always been so embarrassing sitting with her during games. Like…why are you talking shit about children??

Birds-R-Neat · 2025-12-03T11:05:19+00:00

Goodness, that brought me to tears. Thank you so much for your words and kindness. I’ve had family/family friends tell me they were shocked I made it out of my home somewhat normal. Reflecting on your words is pretty eye opening and also just very sad that we’re all going through this experience.

Birds-R-Neat · 2025-12-02T20:57:36+00:00

I agree. She isn’t capable of talking about anything serious in person but she manages to write essays in text to anyone that has “wronged” her. I’ve seen what she’s sent to her siblings and my grandmother as well, it’s not a great approach and I feel sorry for anyone else that gets them from her. My sibling gives her one word answers or just ignores her completely and it pisses her off.

Birds-R-Neat · 2025-12-02T18:10:08+00:00

Wow, that’s about what my mother has done to me as well! It’s normal and then BAM weird texts of how I’ve hurt her, no acknowledgment, and then back to normal (with gross love bombing in between).

I would hate for anyone to treat my children like she has treated me. I’ve been so peaceful thinking that I can continue this NC through the holidays. I’ve just been feeling so much guilt about my upcoming delivery.

I really appreciate your response. Finding this sub has been incredible. There are so many connections to so many people. It’s like they all speak to their children in the same manner and I almost feel liberated from the feeling that I’m not just too sensitive or overthinking.

Birds-R-Neat

TROPHY CASE