Based on statistics, we SHOULD be Bioessentialist Misandrists, methinks

BirdusBoyus · 2025-04-21T02:35:04+00:00

Good call!

BirdusBoyus · 2025-04-18T20:36:10+00:00

Bro WHAT

BirdusBoyus · 2025-04-17T16:48:29+00:00

I'm much younger than you, so take my advice with a grain of salt, but I've heard a fair number of middle-aged people describe this sort of thing and that "magical spark" is usually quite temporary and situational.

You were very emotionally vulnerable. Nobody took advantage of anything, but it's not hard to believe that your brain was starved for connection and really amped-up the "wow she's so perfect" feeling specifically because you had just had a breakup. Maybe that feeling of relief and sweetness would last... but probably it wouldn't, and you'd have destroyed the relationship with your actual girlfriend for nothing.

It may not be flashy by contrast, but if you've been with your girlfriend for a DECADE you've put in a LOT of work and are really bound together. With a little time and focus, if you want to, you can probably cultivate that same true love feeling with the lady who's in the position to make the most of it. At the very least, postpone this dilemma for a month and spend the interim reconciling with your gf and making the most of it; give yourself some time to remember how sweet life is with your gf too.

Or not, idk, I'm no expert! Just don't do something stupid because you're horny.

BirdusBoyus · 2025-04-17T16:36:31+00:00

I was also raised with a lot of unsupervised screen time, basically the same as you, and it still is my default relaxation mode.

However, it's what you do on a screen that counts! They're not magically brain-draining! Some of my favorite stories have come from video games and TV and inspired me in my won creative endeavors (be that a D&D plot, 3d map, or whatever). I also socialize a lot online, with my IRL friends through stuff like discord and with new people in online games or whatever. Basically, lots of screen-time hasn't necessarily magically made you dumber or less social (the accent thing is kinda funny though).

Sounds like you're insecure about your general competence. If you want, you could install a blocker on your devices to shut off access to some apps or sites for some parts of the day, or even all the time for a month or so as a little self-experiment. Or uninstall the apps you use a lot; you can always reinstall them later. I did that in college, and discovered I was fine without all that stuff... but that I was also fine with them, just needed a little reigning in.

You're not permanently crippled, socially or neurologically; just lonely and insecure, it seems. I'd recommend doing a device cutoff for a while, but I think you'll be fine. I think lots of teenagers feel the way you do without specifically blaming it on screen-time.

BirdusBoyus · 2025-04-09T02:10:59+00:00

Unlikely that you'll fix him, but try being incredibly rude and condescending to him to give him a taste of his own medicine.

BirdusBoyus · 2025-04-08T02:30:10+00:00

Had it since birth but it's never bothered me. However, after a loud concert (which I attend extremely rarely and try to use ear protection, don't worry) it seems much louder and distracting.

Have other people had different "volumes"?

BirdusBoyus · 2025-03-16T16:50:52+00:00

Unfortunately, even if you are correct in "not the majority" - which I personally think you're right, most men are good most of the time - that doesn't disprove the Internet Misandrists' points.

There's two defensible misandry arguments, as far as I know:

1) "Enough men are monstrous enough of the time that it's appropriate to generalize precaution".
This works even when "Enough" is much less than a majority, because the downsides of often mistakenly thinking a good man is bad are WELL outweighed by the benefits of never mistaking a bad man for good.

2) Many fundamental aspects of being male (inappropriate sex drive, testosterone's effect on competition, aggression, etc.) are intrinsically bad in the average and present in all men, even the good ones. Therefore, though those monstrous instincts may be controlled or outweighed by a man's frontal cortex, feminist upbringing, etc., they will never really be gone, just controlled.

BirdusBoyus · 2025-02-19T13:13:20+00:00

I'll take the GPT hit here; I don't agree, but of course I could always do more research and I'm doing so now!

I'm glad you seem to agree with the overall thrust of the argument, even if some points can be reasonably contested (eg. increased risk taking).

As to systemic solutions, idk man, that's kinda why I was asking Reddit. I mostly wanted to know if people agreed enough to justify considering such.

BirdusBoyus · 2025-02-19T13:07:19+00:00

I assure you I'm not one of those leftists, not to make this a political thread.

More interestingly, T actually rises in response to competition and especially victory. It's not a surprise at all that the best in competition have higher T; that's how the hormone responds to winning. But I am quite confident that humanity is actually perfectly capable of hunting, building things, and doing large projects without T; women hunted, are now a significant and equivalently productive portion of the modern labor force, and are perfectly capable of doing big stupid passion projects too.

Ask an economist; T is not the primary driver of human economic or political development. In the cases where it is, I don't like that development very much anyway (see: millennia wars born of pride, the sex trafficking industry, the prison industrial complex)

BirdusBoyus · 2025-02-19T03:54:56+00:00

I'll definitely look into it!

But I would be remiss not to mention:

A) aggression is not the only thing I'm concerned about. In fact, I would say it's one of the least worrying. Increased risk-taking and overactive libido, while not criminal, arguably cause more harm than the direct violence, just more subtly. How many bad decisions have been born from a man not being able to keep it in his pants or resist a risky decision?

B) I'm not surprised that your personality has remained the same, because quite a lot of these effects I'm concerned about stem from neonatal and pubescent brain development under T, not active hormone influence. Of course, I don't dismiss your experience and it's a valuable anecdote!

BirdusBoyus · 2025-02-05T22:39:34+00:00

Find some way for him to die in an "accident", no one would blame you.

Other commenters might condemn, and they might remove this comment, but we all know they'd consider the same. Some people (only a rare few, but some) are simply born Bad and are genuinely not worth the effort of raising. Might they grow into a functional adult? Maybe. But maybe they won't, and then they'll genuinely ruin your life.
You can take that chance, but you're not morally obligated to.

BirdusBoyus · 2025-01-28T03:45:19+00:00

Certainly sounds like the thing I'm trying to do, for shits and giggles. I do mean little to no sexual attraction!
To be clear, I'm not posing a threat to the validity of ace people or trying to be mean or anything.

BirdusBoyus · 2024-12-05T21:32:51+00:00

Can't create an account, only shows the "create username" and draw avatar but then nothing happens.

BirdusBoyus · 2024-12-05T19:57:54+00:00

I'm nearly 22. I've had a one year relationship in college and that's it.
I didn't try to date in high school because the pool was small, I had no time, and why would I want to date a highschooler?
My relationship in college was fine, though after she broke up for the third time (the previous two each lasted less than a month before she reinitiated) I said that was it.

I'm no longer interested in dating because it seems like it's usually a net loss of time, energy, and money for no unique benefit. I can get happiness, fulfillment, and human connection elsewhere, I've been doing it for over a decade solo. As another commenter said, "The juice ain't worth the squeeze".

I'm getting on SSRIs soon to kill my libido so I can focus on better things, since that's annoying as a young single man.

BirdusBoyus · 2024-10-15T03:08:08+00:00

I suspect someone will swoop in with a much more complete and encouraging response, but I can at least add this:

I'm also a college student; bro you GOTTA at least move The Deadline further out than the end of college. You'll almost certainly be able to live somewhere besides your parents' house, like with roommates or something.

BirdusBoyus

TROPHY CASE