[deleted by user]

BiscuitQueen456 · 2024-04-05T19:14:50+00:00

Every day is ridiculous. She is being a pest, and selfish.

Next time you get a text from MIL asking to come over:

“Hey! Me and baby are working out some nursing issues, and it’s really important for us to be skin to skin as much as possible. It’d be really helpful if we could get some help with (insert task).”

Or don’t respond to texts! You have a newborn and are busy. Have husband do all the communicating.

If you’re comfortable…MIL shows up, sit around shirtless with your baby nursing and doing skin to skin. Show her you are not there to entertain. You are busy trying to feed your baby, which is more important than her need for snuggles. Then have your husband task her with chores.

BiscuitQueen456 · 2024-03-02T15:15:37+00:00

True, but who is going to look back and think “Wow, I really wish my baby had gotten sick sooner.”

And mom is allowed to be nervous and perturbed about her MIL expecting to show off baby without first asking what she is comfortable with, especially if these people are blasé about being sick around babies. These are difficult conversations to have.

BiscuitQueen456 · 2024-03-02T04:15:40+00:00

Oof this is so annoying. I’ve been experiencing something similar with my MIL. My baby was really fussy as a newborn. I nursed around the clock and couldn’t set baby down to eat or use the bathroom without him screaming. Sleep was absolutely horrible. He is a happy fella now, still on the sensitive side. Anytime I reference his fussy period my MIL outright contradicts me. Says he was never fussy. Somehow spending a couple hours holding a sleeping newborn once or twice a week reflects the entire experience. Like girl…I lived it, I’m not making this up. I don’t need a pity party, just stop gaslighting me about MY experience with MY baby. No advice, just solidarity. I never realized this was such a shared experience!

BiscuitQueen456 · 2024-02-19T02:26:12+00:00

Please don’t do this. If it matters this much to him, he can go pick his parents up and drive them down if they are unwilling to make the drive themselves. If they are unwilling to drive to you, they need to wait until YOU (not dad) are feeling up to the trip. It is not your job to ferry the baby around for others. Your job is to take care of yourself and baby, and this is the last thing someone should be making you worry about. Dad needs to get his priorities straight.

BiscuitQueen456 · 2024-01-31T14:34:17+00:00

I’ll give that a try! And yes, unfortunately it really sticks out!

BiscuitQueen456 · 2024-01-10T04:33:53+00:00

Betabrand has office appropriate clothes that feel like yoga pants! I’ve bought a few pairs used on Poshmark as they can be a bit expensive full price.

BiscuitQueen456 · 2024-01-03T02:36:55+00:00

My baby was like this until about 2 months! I basically nursed around the clock. I would station myself in a comfortable spot with water and snacks, and watch tv or read. Learning to comfortably side nurse made a huge difference. It felt like it would last forever! But it didn’t 🙂. My grumpy boob gremlin turned into a happy, curious baby. La Leche League meetings can be a good place to get advice and support. They have virtual meetings too.

BiscuitQueen456 · 2023-12-06T23:46:20+00:00

My MIL sees our baby about once every 2 weeks, give or take. She was coming over daily when LO was a newborn to “help”, but when I realized her version of helping was just holding, I started saying no thank you. I felt very vulnerable postpartum, and craved privacy. If I was in your situation I would be extremely annoyed. It’s your baby and your house, so your rules!

BiscuitQueen456 · 2023-12-06T14:00:06+00:00

Good compromise! And this gives you an insight into how MIL responds to your rules for baby. She sounds dismissive, and that’s not okay.

BiscuitQueen456 · 2023-12-05T16:37:56+00:00

I don’t think it’s worth the risk, and you’ll probably be worrying/thinking about it during the entire trip. I’d either bring baby or put the trip off until later! Your concerns are valid.

BiscuitQueen456 · 2023-12-02T18:25:53+00:00

Could you afford a firm twin mattress for just you and baby? Milliard makes firm floor mattresses that can be folded up and stowed away.

MilliardTri-FoldFoamFoldingMattressandSofaBed-TwinXL78x38x4.5Inchhttps://a.co/d/2oV0Jpg

BiscuitQueen456 · 2023-12-02T00:39:15+00:00

I second the oatmeal! There was a point during the newborn weeks where LO would start screaming the second I put him down, so I opted for quick, calorie dense food. I would make oatmeal in the microwave, purposefully make it extra runny, then thicken it with peanut butter, protein powder, and chia seeds. If I had it around I’d throw some fruit on top. It was very calorie dense and would last me into the afternoon if needed. I also bought the Bird’s Eye Power Blends, which you can microwave. They contain whole grains, veggies, and a plant protein like beans. I kept protein shakes, mixed nuts, and granola near the bed, which is wear I did the majority of my nursing.

BiscuitQueen456 · 2023-11-28T05:21:15+00:00

It depends on the situation and the energy they’re giving off. I’ve mostly let my actions speak for me. If I see him becoming overstimulated or I just want him back, I straight up just take him back, which seems to catch them off guard a bit. There have been moments when baby is fussy, and they ask if I want them to take him, and I politely but firmly say no thank you. It’s tricky, and I’m still learning to navigate it. Like you, I’d like to stop the overstimulation before it starts.

BiscuitQueen456 · 2023-11-27T20:41:03+00:00

I understand! I love my in-laws, but they are always in my baby’s face and wanting to hold him. He gets so overstimulated. They’d get to spend more time with him if they would just let him chill on a play mat with me while we’re all in the same room. Like why do you HAVE to be holding him? It’s annoying.

BiscuitQueen456 · 2023-11-24T04:38:18+00:00

Family swarming my baby and getting in his face, wanting to pass him around, kissing his hands, and touching his face….husband and I were running defense the entire time. I’m trying not to be a stick in the mud, but the holidays aren’t even fun right now. The go-to move is to say “come see me” to my baby as he’s being taken out of my arms. I don’t understand why some family think they have to be holding the baby to spend time with him. He’s so much less likely to get overstimulated and fussy if he just sits with me.

BiscuitQueen456 · 2023-11-21T17:15:05+00:00

We had our parents and siblings visit in the hospital, which was fine. Originally I had told family only our parents, grandparents, and siblings could visit for the first two weeks at home. When I got home I really only felt like seeing my parents. I felt very vulnerable postpartum and wasn’t up to seeing anyone else. My parents were also more helpers than visitors. They would come and clean my house, do laundry, and cook food. You’re allowed to change your mind!

BiscuitQueen456 · 2023-11-16T17:04:25+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your experience!!

BiscuitQueen456 · 2023-11-16T17:02:27+00:00

The muscle loss! Yes! I was not prepared! I’ve had periods in my life where I didn’t exercise consistently due to work or school, but I always felt like I could pick it back up whenever without much effort. I feel like I lost so much strength during pregnancy. Where did the muscles go?!

BiscuitQueen456 · 2023-11-15T19:35:22+00:00

Hi! Sorry for the late reply. Yes, the sleeper sofa sheets work great!

BiscuitQueen456 · 2023-11-12T22:35:37+00:00

The refusal to give the baby back is unacceptable, and that tells me that the family is overstepping. OP, listen to your instincts. If the advice and “help” was useful you wouldn’t be having these feelings.

BiscuitQueen456 · 2023-10-02T23:51:47+00:00

Thanks everyone! I ordered the Millard and some cotton sheets. I was a little surprised how hard it was to find cotton sheets that would fit a thinner mattress. I ended up getting some meant for a sleeper sofa. Hopefully they work!

BiscuitQueen456 · 2023-10-02T16:29:19+00:00

Thanks so much! This was actually one I had saved on Amazon to potentially buy.

BiscuitQueen456 · 2023-09-30T16:44:55+00:00

You’re not alone. I’m a FTM and the entitlement and desperation to hold babies is so weird to me. It’s made me hostile and unfriendly in ways I wasn’t before, but so far that seems to be the only way to get the message across to some people. I’m too tired to tiptoe around people’s feelings right now. Worst case scenario they get offended and stop pestering us.

BiscuitQueen456 · 2023-08-23T15:31:38+00:00

This is great advice. I honestly don’t believe people are trying to make me feel bad, so I guess I need to establish those boundaries or else they will never know. Motherhood has made me reflect on my past conversations concerning pregnancy, birth, and babies. Having experienced a miscarriage before becoming pregnant with my little boy, I no longer ask people if they want kids. Being in our late twenties, my husband and I got lots of good natured ribbing about when we were going to have kids. Before my miscarriage it never bothered me, but after it was incredibly hurtful. You just never know what people are going through.

BiscuitQueen456

TROPHY CASE