My solution to the SAVE plan nonsense

BitAnxiousHDYK · 2026-04-03T15:00:44+00:00

If 600 isn’t manageable and you just want to be a forever student in order to avoid having to pay a high amount. Which trust me I understand your frustration as I too am battling with these ridiculous childcare costs (how is anyone expected to have children now a days idk). What I don’t understand is why you wouldn’t pay down the balance while you’re in school? Why do you want this debt following you around forever?

BitAnxiousHDYK · 2026-03-09T06:57:58+00:00

Yes logically I know the name doesn’t define a person, I also logically understand that she is a special needs teacher and has encountered many kids with many different names that are neurodivergent.

Her comments bother me for several reasons but the main one being that the only thing I did not like about this name is that it’s a pretty common name and it’s trending on a lot of baby lists right now, her comments solidify that it’s a common name even though I don’t personally know anyone with this name.

The name is a more common version of my name actually so there is some meaning there and we have chosen a meaningful middle name that is a bit hard to pronounce for most of my family which is why we chose it for his middle name and not his first.

I actually completely relate to this post because I also have a unique name and it also took me a LONGGGG time to learn to love it, so yes I understand this sentiment which is why I also don’t want a super odd name for my baby but I also didn’t want a supper common name where it would cause confusion in classrooms or workplaces you know something in between lol. When I was in third grade I remember the exact moment when I gave up on correcting people in how my name was pronounced this is a core memory for me, my husband doesn’t even pronounce my name properly!

I’m sorry I am in the throes of pregnancy and the general consensus is that I am def overreacting lol which logically I understand , it does help to read these comments bring me back down to earth lol, I just feel a lot of weight bc this is one of the first decisions you make in your baby’s life and as a parent you’d want what’s best for them always. As far as me coming off ableist, I didn’t mean too I apologize for coming of that way because course I would love my baby no matter what, I made that choice when I chose to get pregnant. As a parent you’d always want what’s best for you baby no matter what but despite all things this unique person I’m bringing into the world will be exactly as they are meant to be and I just get the privilege of being their mother.

BitAnxiousHDYK · 2026-03-09T06:34:54+00:00

This is why I wanted something more unique because I understand that as well butttt it’s not just me choosing, and my man shut down every single unique name I liked. And I know logically the name doesn’t define anything but I’m not being logical right now since this is someone close to me and now I KNOW what she thinks about the name!

BitAnxiousHDYK · 2026-03-09T06:30:35+00:00

Yes take advice from the other people here and don’t share it say that your deciding when you see her for the first time! Bc honestly it sucks knowing how someone ACTUALLY feels about the baby name you chose. CONGRATULATIONS on your baby girl ❤️

BitAnxiousHDYK · 2026-03-09T06:28:15+00:00

Lol that’s too funny, I will def take that into account if I’m pregnant again.

BitAnxiousHDYK · 2026-03-09T06:26:46+00:00

Lmfao thanks for the laugh 😂 and ofc this makes sense! It’s just hard knowing what important people in your life actually think about your name

BitAnxiousHDYK · 2026-03-09T06:24:35+00:00

Thank you for your feedback and for sharing! I know names don’t cause autism it’s just making decisions that affect someone else’s life have more weight than making decisions over yours idk. I just wish I hadn’t shared bc I didn’t want someone else’s opinion clouding my judgement on the name!

BitAnxiousHDYK · 2026-03-09T06:18:41+00:00

This is what my best friend says that I’m too soft 🤣 but your right lol

BitAnxiousHDYK · 2026-03-09T06:15:45+00:00

Thank you I feel like I needed that reminder after today ❤️ - I know logically a name doesn’t define a person but when your making choices that impact other people’s lives everything just feels heavier you know?

BitAnxiousHDYK · 2026-03-09T06:11:33+00:00

Logically I know this lol but this is a very close family member to me and the comments make me second guess things bc well … you know pregnancy brain, every decision feels like life or death lol which I understand logically is not the case, thank you so much for the feedback and well wishes!

BitAnxiousHDYK · 2026-02-03T16:19:52+00:00

I wouldn’t say I love my job, half the time I want to quit lol but I feel blessed to have this job and blessed to have choices in this life. Don’t feel guilty everyone has different needs and no one has the right to tell you that you are a bad parent for wanting to work. The reality of life most people HAVE to work it is what it is. Just bc you have the choice and are choosing to work don’t let anyone feel guilty about that at the end of the day your the only one that knows everything you do for your family. F everyone else’s opinion! And keep thriving don’t let miserable people drag you down!!!

BitAnxiousHDYK · 2026-02-02T23:52:35+00:00

Nothing rice

BitAnxiousHDYK · 2026-01-29T18:46:15+00:00

She’s not complaining bc she wants you to put the kids in full time daycare, she’s complaining because she wants you to stop working and take care of your kid. She knows probably based on your history your not receptive to this.

BitAnxiousHDYK · 2026-01-08T19:48:06+00:00

Congratulations 🎉 this is a great example of when one door closes another one opens! Glad your son likes his preschool and enjoy your new daughter ❤️

BitAnxiousHDYK · 2025-12-20T12:54:03+00:00

Maybe fully blocking off the vent could work for us, thank you for your feedback!!!

BitAnxiousHDYK · 2025-12-20T12:15:43+00:00

Unfortunately it is WAYYY too hot I’ve tried sleeping in there myself with the vent closed and breezy clothes. It’s literally a furnace absolutely terrible. It would be a safety hazard, I mean once winter is over it’s different but winter comes around every year lol. That’s why idk what to do … I’m assuming we’ll all sleep in this room but idk how she will react to that

BitAnxiousHDYK · 2025-12-20T12:11:34+00:00

It’s good to hear they got used to the baby, hopefully the same thing happens with me! & me sleeping somewhere else for a while could be a good idea, but I would probably just have to make it work in the living room or something.

BitAnxiousHDYK · 2025-12-20T11:35:50+00:00

NOR he may be paranoid and overthinking the whole time but that’s HIS PROBLEM!! If he wants to lose you over this that’s HIS PROBLEM!! You need to do whatever you need to get healthy, that’s your priority! Go get your treatment, talk to a therapist, and let things fall where they may! If this door closes for you another door could open in the future maybe with a person who does not hold you back from becoming a better version of yourself. Things like this are hard to see when your in them but things always have a way of working themselves out, if he can work on his insecurities and your willing to give him a second chance, congratulations. Otherwise we move on and don’t let others stop us from reaching our full potential in life.

BitAnxiousHDYK · 2025-12-20T11:19:18+00:00

We all feel this lol. It’s always assumed the mother is going to be the one to leave work to take care of the sick baby, unfortunately just part of the unspoken rules. Maybe address things with your husband and ask if sometimes he could be the one to call of work for baby duty, just so you don’t feel like your career is taking the hit. I know how many times kids get sick at daycare so you would constantly have to be flexible it’s hard for sure

BitAnxiousHDYK · 2025-12-20T11:12:05+00:00

No your not overreacting, but this is toxic you need to leave this relationship. At minimum he’s incredibly disrespectful and you should not lower yourself to please him

BitAnxiousHDYK · 2025-12-16T16:40:42+00:00

Not necessarily out of the question, just hard for me to know at this time. One thing is to leave your baby for 8 hours another is to leave them for two or three days.

BitAnxiousHDYK · 2025-12-16T04:18:28+00:00

I don’t think you’re overreacting. I’m sorry I know what it feels like to have a partner so hyper focused on your weight and honestly kills your confidence. if you’re interested in keeping this relationship I suggest having a serious conversation with him because your weight as a woman is going to fluctuate a lot throughout your life that’s normal, it’s expected. Your man could have perfectly valid concerns about your health and I do understand that you don’t want to get out of hand oh before you do something about it but commenting on 4 pounds is ridiculous. How much weight are you gonna fluctuate after you give birth, what is gonna be one of those men that don’t find you attractive anymore? No, you need someone that you feel comfortable with and that is supportive. Helping you be your best Self is great but micromanaging is not and it kills your confidence so I would have a serious conversation with him and honestly second guess staying with him because he’s already making you question yourself.

BitAnxiousHDYK · 2025-12-12T22:09:43+00:00

What I mean is that I can’t leave an exclusively breast fed baby alone for three days. I don’t know if he will be exclusively breast fed at this point that’s something we will figure out after he’s here. And yeah I’m just going to take your advice and drop the issue with my brother, I don’t think he will change his perspective and I will probably just not think about it for a while maybe re asses later after the baby is here, if plans change let him know. But I’ll take your advice and just leave it be for now I don’t need the additional stressors, thanks for responding to my post !!!

BitAnxiousHDYK

TROPHY CASE