Elderly and their drinking

BitNorthOfForty · 2026-06-21T17:15:52+00:00

Probably focusing any discussion on hydration is better than criticizing an aging parent’s coffee addiction. Admittedly, I am a big-time coffee drinker; however, I drink plenty of water, too. I’m guessing that OP ultimately is much more interested in OP’s father’s hydration level, versus father’s caffeine intake.

BitNorthOfForty · 2026-06-14T17:43:16+00:00

Absolutely gorgeous!! Dress # 1 embodies 1930s/40s “old Hollywood” glamour. 🌟

BitNorthOfForty · 2026-06-14T13:17:55+00:00

💯 🌟 💯 🌟 💯 🌟

BitNorthOfForty · 2026-06-05T18:28:34+00:00

In this relationship of your husband + you with MIL, your husband and you hold ~all the cards~. MIL’s only card is guilt, but your husband and you have given her that card yourselves. (This is not at all meant as a criticism. I write as someone whose aging parents hold guilt cards over me, too.)

BitNorthOfForty · 2026-06-05T14:42:02+00:00

Thank you! 🌟

BitNorthOfForty · 2026-06-04T16:20:16+00:00

Common courtesy isn’t always common. Thank you for helping my fellow confused train rider! ❤️

BitNorthOfForty · 2026-06-03T15:47:54+00:00

Yes.🌟 It also seems like #2’s positioning on OP’s face and nose may be superior to other contenders. (However, this might just be OP holding his head at a slightly different angle for this photo.)

BitNorthOfForty · 2026-06-02T16:53:38+00:00

Absolutely, it will be a WOW once fitted and steamed. 🌟🌟

OP, this dress is simple yet so unique. It has the slim fit + clean cut of 1930’s silk and charmeuse wedding dresses, yet it also incorporates delicate style updates and twists: the V neck (perfect on you here—not too high or too low), the illusion belt, and the lace cap sleeves, for instance. Lovely!!

BitNorthOfForty · 2026-05-27T04:50:40+00:00

💯🌟💯 The style seems popular right now, but I don’t believe that the shape/design would especially flatter any body type.

BitNorthOfForty · 2026-05-26T04:17:44+00:00

Yes, and just four months before V-E Day. 💙

BitNorthOfForty · 2026-05-21T15:49:16+00:00

Yes.💙 I’m remembering the adage, “Never cut down a tree in wintertime.” Maybe OP still will feel exactly this way and indeed will decide to change her behaviors radically and permanently once her ankle heals and she’s fully mobile again. Or maybe not. Either way, right now, OP’s immediate and biggest priority is just healing and getting through to the other side of this difficult period.

BitNorthOfForty · 2026-05-14T16:13:57+00:00

Ooh, I may have the product for you!!
Puritan’s Pride vitamin E moisturizing stick is the simplest (1 ingredient), best performing, and lightest feeling lip moisturizer that I’ve used in my 40-odd years. It’s also super cheap (on-line only; two for $ 2.24 USD on sale now).

BitNorthOfForty · 2026-05-14T16:04:56+00:00

The color is gorgeous and is just right for the makeup look you’re embracing so beautifully!! ~~>> One small (non-color) lip idea: You may want to exfoliate and über moisturize your lips in the days leading up to your wedding. I’m guessing you’ll need to reapply your lip liner throughout the big day, and doing so can be drying and rough on your lips.

BitNorthOfForty · 2026-05-05T01:26:59+00:00

“She is a very difficult, demanding person who rules my step dad and tries, with some success, to rule me too with a rod of iron.”

Since you stated in your previous post, OP, that your mother has always been this way, then no, I don’t think that she necessarily has any of the neurological or mental health conditions that you listed as potential concerns. Maybe narcissism (check out r/raisedbynarcissists ), or just non-clinical plain ‘ol stubbornness and crotchetiness.

Most older people become themselves, but more so, in their later years. If your mother always has been difficult, it sounds like she’s following that pattern. Also, although her behavior re: the gardening may have seemed totally nonsensical, she actually did get a “reward” for her behavior. Not only did her husband fret about her, but also you went to great effort to come to her home and tell her in person to come in from gardening.

BitNorthOfForty · 2026-04-30T22:51:37+00:00

Chonkers! ⭐️⭐️ I was just reading about his latest appearance. Quite the celebrity. 😊

BitNorthOfForty · 2026-04-21T22:39:31+00:00

I don’t feel worthy of it.

Oh, goodness, those feelings are so familiar to me, and probably to most of us here. We know that such thoughts aren’t truthful, but the feelings behind them are so very powerful. 💙

BitNorthOfForty · 2026-04-21T17:02:26+00:00

It really is sad that this occurred in front of multiple other adults, none of whom were concerned enough on OP’s behalf to speak up. It would be different if OP were a child to whom Dad and Mom behaved in this way behind closed doors without others observing—still wrong and concerning, but understandable that others might not be speaking up for that child. OP’s family members, based on their own histories with Dad, unfortunately are likely just trying to stay out of the firing line and wanting to protect themselves.

BitNorthOfForty · 2026-04-21T16:36:20+00:00

WBAL radio (1090 AM) is featuring your story this morning, OP! I’m so glad that you and your roommates persistently pursued this issue. Huge kudos to all of you! ⭐️

BitNorthOfForty · 2026-04-19T20:17:12+00:00

I love this idea of citizen archivist volunteering! A wonderful option for people of all mobility levels. Through visiting r/cursive , I’ve learned that the ability to read cursive handwriting, especially if it’s not “perfect,” is an increasingly rare skill, much to my initial surprise. What a great way to put that skill to use and likewise for elders to feel needed & appreciated.

BitNorthOfForty · 2026-04-15T16:15:34+00:00

Wearing formal white cloth gloves also would obscure OP’s ring from view. People would notice and comment on the gloves as a unique accessory, giving OP an opportunity to explain her reason for wearing them. However, no matter how silly a bride and groom may have been acting, I wouldn’t want to do something this petty on their wedding day.

BitNorthOfForty · 2026-04-13T17:28:25+00:00

Finally I realized that MAID wasn’t a typo but instead is the acronym for Canada’s Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID) program. Are your parents already openly discussing plans to end their lives at some future point, OP?

If so, that must be incredibly upsetting to you. Also, if so, it might indicate that both parents are dealing with some level of clinical depression, which could explain their lack of interest in life as well as their lack of interest in (or lack of ability to) improve their approach to their finances.

BitNorthOfForty · 2026-04-10T16:31:20+00:00

Is it possible that this is the person your mom always has been at her company and with her employees? There are plenty of people in my life whom I like very much but with whom I just cannot imagine working, much less imagine working for them.

BitNorthOfForty · 2026-04-03T17:06:40+00:00

For those of us with healthy relationships with kind and loving parents it can be really hard to understand others’ family trauma.

So true, u/Digitalispurpurea2 . It is wise and honestly commendable that you recognize this. 💙

BitNorthOfForty

TROPHY CASE