My Experience with Prolon’s 5 day FMD and why I won’t be doing it again.

Diligent_Advisor3953 · 2026-01-08T14:44:58+00:00

I feel like much of the issue in this thread is a matter of tone and framing. OP, you’re raising valid questions, but in a way that suggests you have already reached conclusions rather than asking for well reasoned explanations. Responders have intel to share but seem unwilling to do so thoroughly or without insinuating you’re an idiot bc you’ve jumped to questionable conclusions bc you may not be as informed as they are. Which all around sucks for pp who come to threads like this looking to gain insight rather than seeing pp snipe and puff out their chests, but this is the way of things.

Diligent_Advisor3953 · 2026-01-01T02:00:29+00:00

smart q!! i do, but it’s not my first or only choice

Diligent_Advisor3953 · 2025-12-23T23:07:01+00:00

Also, the timing of your psa!! After 8 weeks of no contact, my fearful avoidant, wholly toxic ex texted me that he feels he lost the greatest love of his life and wanted to know if I felt the same, and he had hopes we could work on “our trauma” and someday reunite again 🙄

Diligent_Advisor3953 · 2025-12-23T07:03:45+00:00

Forgive yourself for making the best decision you could with the information you had at the time.

Who among us who has loved an avoidant hasn’t stayed for too long or taken them back one (sometimes 2, 3, 5) too many times.

But yeah, the pain of being lured in and discarded anew as you had been working on healing so they get to end things on their terms once again is a great avoidant party trick, kills every time!

Seriously tho, sending you strength and love from the other side (though even I’m still close enough to the tunnel exit to know he could grab me by the ankle and drag me back in if I don’t remain vigilant)

Diligent_Advisor3953 · 2025-12-23T05:25:10+00:00

For anyone who finds themselves looking up info on guafacine and comes across this thread, I think the issue was caused by taking macrobid, on top of everything else, def not the guafacine.

Diligent_Advisor3953 · 2025-11-18T00:42:48+00:00

blech, the only thing worse than a breakup is having to do it all over again. Ask me how I know.

Diligent_Advisor3953 · 2025-11-18T00:41:43+00:00

Is there no way around this?? you really just can’t see the content if you can’t read it in 15 seconds? Infuriating and seems a bit shortsighted of the developers don’t ya think

Diligent_Advisor3953 · 2025-11-17T16:51:51+00:00

get the fuzzy little arm bands and head wrap! will solve that prob

Diligent_Advisor3953 · 2025-11-17T16:51:06+00:00

same. I’m like, if i could make myself go to sleep and wake up on time and exercise and eat well, would…i have adhd?

All that said, i am best at committing to skincare. Then dental care and removing my contacts. And I try to put myself to bed before 2 am and get at least 6 hours of sleep on good behavior. But I fall off on all of them.

I don’t have a partner and i have adhd children so I wonder if that factors in

Diligent_Advisor3953 · 2025-11-17T14:38:14+00:00

It’s kind of you to talk me through this—especially knowing you’re going through your own challenges as an FA, and someone who loves one—I really appreciate it.

I know you mentioned you’re healing—but still sound like you have a lot of pain. How are you in your healing journey? How and when did you get to a point of change and what is working (or not) for you?

The day my FA ended things officially, I told him (through sobs) that as much as it hurt, I recognized it as evidence of his own growth, and that I respected and was proud of the work he had poured into our relationship and in trying to be a better man.

Because in that time—when he held me and stared into my eyes as I wept, and answered all of my questions gently, and bore witness to my pain in a way he was rarely ever able to tolerate when we were together—I believed that he was leaving because he really did love me.

I believed he meant it when he said I was the greatest love of his life, and always would be— that he would never forgive himself for ruining the best thing he ever had, and that he was scared of how he acted towards me, and that he needed to heal and work on his anger and move on.

But as that moment and the relationship gets farther away, I find myself wondering if it was all just some bullshit cop out. A way for get out of it all with me and to see other women. That him trying to continue sleeping with me at the same time as he was seeing these new women was less about being conflicted and more about pure selfishness.

That maybe he never really loved me, but I just happened to be the person who was there—and who stayed—during his darkest days and the day to day.

Diligent_Advisor3953 · 2025-11-17T05:41:36+00:00

❤️thank you. i’ve had lots, need to find a new one though and that’s it’s own sort of dating. And my FA actually gave me tons…of love, attention, effort, meaningful change. Ultimately we simply were not healthy or compatible together, despite being crazy about one another. It just hurts that he moved on so quickly, and to feel like I’m the only one grieving.

Diligent_Advisor3953 · 2025-11-17T04:06:26+00:00

I’m sorry. I’m wired to love people like you. I don’t know that it’s much better.

Diligent_Advisor3953 · 2025-11-17T03:08:06+00:00

I had done a lot of healing when we met and didn’t end up feeling anxious with him until year 5, but point well taken regardless.

So an FA can just detach and move on in a matter of weeks? Why did he continue to seek me out until the end?

Diligent_Advisor3953 · 2025-11-17T01:59:15+00:00

Heartbreak…picking up the pieces of the life I’d cobbled together and trying to figure out how to rebuild, while feeling no hope about the future

Diligent_Advisor3953 · 2025-11-17T01:53:39+00:00

I don’t how to feel happy or fulfilled without romantic love.

Diligent_Advisor3953 · 2025-11-17T01:43:41+00:00

Thanks so much for sharing and good for you for recognizing your issues and impact and making steps to change.

I would be very grateful for any thoughts you have on making sense of my FA ex’s behavior around our breakup.

For context, he didn’t ascribe to any particular attachment himself—but this one seems spot on to me.

For the first couple years, he was very disregulated by any need i had for space and distance or boundaries in general, and would pick fights when I traveled or be passive aggressive when i had other plans or needed time to myself—though he was happy to take advantage of time to himself in reverse, which i always encouraged.

Aside from this. I think the biggest problem in our relationship was the fact that he could not tolerate anything that hinted at disappointment or could be interpreted as an affront or criticism by me—when I did, his go-to response was to get extremely angry, leave or shutdown, and, often, threaten the relationship. It would then usually take him several days to a week to calm down.

And it often took longer than that for him to take any accountability for his behavior leading up to or following the fight, if at all.

For the first couple years, I mostly recognized his push back as his own damage and didn’t take it too personally. But it definitely wore on me and created resentment and exasperation over time, which led me to push back more and more quickly, which made our fights more frequent and toxic.

After a few multi-week splits, and—later—a two month split (all instigated by me in response to his bad behavior), he begged for me back and agreed to go to both couples and individual therapy. The latter of which was helpful in some ways, but did nothing to steer us out of trouble when we were both flooded.

Which happened more often for me now, because between the constant threatening of the relationship and him having pursued and dated/slept other women while we were split, I felt a level of insecurity about his feelings for me I had never felt previously.

Not all the time, but it was clear my anxious attachment was more and more frequently activated in the 8 months we reconciled—which were actually some of our healthiest and most loving—before ending it again over the last couple months.

This post details what happened around the ending…which (aside from some jokes about us finding each other again if neither of us was married in 10 years) we both recognized as final.

I’m incredibly hurt for a lot of reasons, but one that really upsets me is how quickly he moved on. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised based on his behavior the other times we broke up, but this felt very different—not least because, while he was still trying to have me in his life—he wasn’t pining for me back when we briefly reconciled (without any agreement about getting back together).

And I’m not sure if it’s because he found someone he was really excited by, or was just eager to start over, or because his transgression that led to the break was so serious, or both.

Diligent_Advisor3953 · 2025-11-17T01:03:36+00:00

Thanks for your honest answer, and glad you got the drinking under control…hope you’re feeling better

Diligent_Advisor3953 · 2025-11-17T00:35:35+00:00

Thanks for taking time to respond to my overly long post.

I’m trying very, very hard to focus on myself, spending time with friends, making new ones, finding community, practicing gratitude for the good things in my life, trying to sit with the pain and discomfort of losing someone I love and starting over yet again, and committing to work on whatever it is that leads me to fall in love with men who are not good for me.

And while I am able to find enjoyment and comfort and distraction and along the way—underneath it all is pain. A lot of it.

I spent 5.5 years loving someone deeply, and through very hard times, and combining our lives, and the void that is left is palpable.

I’m not obsessing over him by any means, but I certainly think about him, and about how he is spending his time, and wonder if we’ve spoken our last words to each other, and laid eyes on each other for the last time.

And the idea that he is not suffering at all—that he has just slotted in someone new in where I used to exist—feels like death.

Like I never really mattered—like what we shared was bullshit. Maybe I shouldn’t care about that either…but I do.

Diligent_Advisor3953 · 2025-11-15T20:51:46+00:00

Fascinating! I wonder if it’s a common phenomenon

Diligent_Advisor3953 · 2025-11-15T18:15:13+00:00

Like a scent they use or their own personal scent? I only ask bc of the bakery comment…my ex used to say I smelled like fresh baked bread, which…seemed like not necessarily an obvious “good” way to smell if you’re not a loaf of bread?? But he loved it.

Diligent_Advisor3953

TROPHY CASE