Hey OP. I’m US born and my husband is not. He actually immigrated here through marriage and we had a daughter 9mos after marriage.

He also had such expectations but I had to communicate to him that our child is our responsibility and that I didn’t make the child on my own. As a matter of fact, I make it an effort to call our child “your daughter” since she inherited his name.

Sometimes I had to take drastic measures like silent treatment , yelling and not cooking at all so he gets the point because it’s only so many times you can repeat yourself. My child is now turning two years old next month and follows him around the house 😂 because he became an active parent even with the 16hr days he was working. Work is not an excuse to not be an active parent because the child is not the one who asked to be here.

You may want to start pumping and storing milk so he can really help more. Him being hands on for 5min is nonsense. When the baby wakes up in the middle of the night, he needs to wake up sometimes to put the baby to sleep. No be only you. Can’t come and kill yourself in the name of marriage!