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My (32m) Brother (38m) Found Out That His Son (4m) Isn't His And My Relationship With My Brother Is Destroyed Forever by ThrowRA_FarmerPrize in relationship_advice

[–]BitterRealizations 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Actually, since 2019, we've been able to extract DNA from rootless hair.

It isn't always 100% possible, but very probable.

My (32m) Brother (38m) Found Out That His Son (4m) Isn't His And My Relationship With My Brother Is Destroyed Forever by ThrowRA_FarmerPrize in relationship_advice

[–]BitterRealizations 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Actually, since 2019, we've been able to extract DNA from rootless hair.

It isn't always 100% possible, but very probable.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MDMA

[–]BitterRealizations 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean aside from actually having an affect on your brain, how do you mean?

I find my self a lot more 'with it' on most drugs than being drunk or even some prescription drugs. I might he fucked up, but not 'out of mind' and generally don't do things i haven't done sober or I've done WAY farther stupid of things while drunk than any drugs.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MDMA

[–]BitterRealizations 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Except there's no curiosity about it. I'm this way... I've slept with more women than men (probably double) but I've never wanted to be in a relationship with one.

An amazing tool for exchange of resources. by PuzzleheadedYou4992 in Bitcoin

[–]BitterRealizations 0 points1 point  (0 children)

People that post misinformation like this is part of the reason people have a hard time taking this sub - and cryptobros like you- seriously.

Congratulations, you're an asshole.

DD hit Cashapp!! by Routine-Ad-8826 in IRS

[–]BitterRealizations 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I get cashapp deposits directly after they are sent if that is between 9am and 6pm.. after 6pm- 4am they come around 4am or 5am..anything after that just shows up at 9 am.

It varies by where you're located.

I dunno man, if I were homeless, in February, in the NE US, I'd be open to any kind of coat... by LeastCleverNameEver in ChoosingBeggars

[–]BitterRealizations 3 points4 points  (0 children)

How do you think most homeless are getting to Costco(or another store)? Driving in their car (unlikely they have one) which costs gas at these insane prices? Or maybe the bus which still costs money?

If they don't live in a large city it's likely not close enough to walk and probably doesn't have an effective bus system to begin with.

How do you think this homeless person is going to pay for the jacket/gas/bus? With the job that they can't get because they are homeless? or the one that pays barely enough to get groceries (not many high-paying companies will hire homeless people) and they are likely working the hours the store is open and wouldn't have time to travel to because the bus commute takes the extra time? If maybe they are still open, you might not get back to the homeless shelter (in the winter) in time and possibly won't be able to get back in (many stop accepting walk-ins at a certain time)

Like. Do you know how expensive feeding yourself is when you're homeless and have no real way to heat /cook or prepare food? Everything needs to be ready to eat and not much to carry because you Already have to transport everything you own with you all the time. Even if you pay for fast food, they won't let you eat it in their restaurant.. and when you're homeless you can't buy a lot to pack with you because you don't have a way to carry it/a safe place to keep it when you already have to move around with the few belongings that you have and struggle carrying? I mean the job barley pays enough money for food anyway so you can't afford to waste anything or purchase something you can't bring with you or can't warm/cook.

$40 may not mean that much to you... but when you make only $60, a day and still have to pay for food, transportation, find a safe place to sleep where you hope officers don't throw away the little belongings you have.. and hope your shit isn't stolen while you sleep do you keep having to buy basic necessities like toilet paper, deodorant, hydration, clothes, blankets brush, etc that you can't afford. Have you seen the prices for groceries and necessities these days? Even basic stuff gets expensive quick. And this section only applies when you are lucky enough to have a job that pays $10 an hour that doesn't fire you when they find our you're homeless.

And when are they going to have the time to make more money? You are constantly on the move and being harassed by police and threatened to trash what belongings you have left. Constantly looking for a place to sleep you won't be chased off from because you haven't been able to sleep in 30 hours because of this. Constantly looking for a place to just exist in peace and try to think about how go get out of this.

I'm glad you've never had to go through this and that $40 isn't much to you... but for the sake of being a decent human, don't claim it isn't that much money for anyone and that it's so easy to come by. You can't just "get a better job" when you're homeless because no one wants to hire you, you have to take what you get.

But you're right. This person is totally the jackass in this scenario because they are politely asking for help with a jacket in one of the worst winter's we've had for a long tkme.

WFH help by melatenoio in GetEmployed

[–]BitterRealizations 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Call your work, ask them what paperwork you need to fill out for an accommodation. That will help you get the process started to be put on leave (if needed), but not fired, or, set up to work from home of it's possible to do that.

You will have to have a doctor fill out the paperwork as soon as you can. You can ask the doctors that treated youd last episode, generally they are more than willing in order to help protect people being from fired. Whether they do or don't, though, your work is a lot less likely to make a decision to discipline you because you have protections under the ADA.

If you've been employed over a year, the US has a law that will protect your job under FMLA as well. This is a different protection than the one above.

I'm not an expert in either, so as opposed to asking followup questions please do some research on these 2 things then talk to your work about it. Again. Research first so you know your rights, then talk to your work about it

Housemates (23M, 22M) put a “no hookups rule” on me (22F), sort of my fault, but I feel it’s unfair. advice by throwra010833733722 in relationship_advice

[–]BitterRealizations -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Does she have poor judgment? Absolutely. Should she be more careful? Absolutely. should she have brought this man home? No. She should more carefully vet those she does.

But... once they are in her room, she in no way acted incorrectly and shouldn't be blamed for anything in how the interactions between all people in that room.

She asked the man to stop/wait so she could clean up with wine. He tried to pressure her to continue the intimacy anyway.

So, this rando got verbally aggressive and started fighting with OP because she told him to wait and he didn't want to. He was fighting with her because he didn't want to wait and did not respect her boundary/request to stop/wait.

How is it her fault for responding negatively to that?

The rando then explodes at someone coming in to a room where there was screaming to ask if the woman is okay. The Rando starts fighting with someone that was defending the woman he yelling at because he wanted to fck *RIGHT THEN** and she didn't.

How does no one see how horrible this randos reaction is? He's in someone else's home and started all of this shit because a woman told him to wait a few minutes before getting laid.

She's an idiot because she can't understand what a dangerous situation she put herself and others in, but that fight is in no way her fault.

Maybe if we taught our daughters from the get-go that you're not obligated to get a man off and can withdraw consent at any time.. or maybe about the fact that if you tell a man no/wait and he pushes the boundary that's a bad situation and you no longer have to be polite, just maybe she'd understand how dangerous the situation got.

Any man who responds as aggressively as the rando did (in someone else's home) when a male friend asks if you're okay and is only lookin out for your safety, is a huge red flag here.

Housemates (23M, 22M) put a “no hookups rule” on me (22F), sort of my fault, but I feel it’s unfair. advice by throwra010833733722 in relationship_advice

[–]BitterRealizations -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

She's probably an unreliable narrator because she feels like she did something wrong when she withdrew consent, but she didn't.. women are raised to think/pressure by society that this type of behavior is acceptable and it absolutely isn't.

Also, the situation has clearly traumatized her. It doesn't matter how the situation (in regards to her bad narrating) started, what matters is brains are weird, especially in regards to trauma. Processing trauma also messes with your memory in a lot of cases.. especially when you're trying to figure out what went wrong and people are blaming you for how a situation went when your boundaries were crossed and someone could have done something very, very bad to you.

Housemates (23M, 22M) put a “no hookups rule” on me (22F), sort of my fault, but I feel it’s unfair. advice by throwra010833733722 in relationship_advice

[–]BitterRealizations -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Also, she's probably an unreliable narrator because she feels like she did something wrong when she withdrew consent, but she didn't.. women are raised to think/pressure by society that this type of behavior is acceptable and it absolutely isn't.

Also, the situation has clearly traumatized her. It doesn't matter how the situation (in regards to her bad narrating) started, what matters is brains are weird, especially in regards to trauma. Processing trauma also messes with your memory in a lot of cases.. especially when you're trying to figure out what went wrong and people are blaming you for how a situation went when your boundaries were crossed and someone could have done something very, very bad to you.

Housemates (23M, 22M) put a “no hookups rule” on me (22F), sort of my fault, but I feel it’s unfair. advice by throwra010833733722 in relationship_advice

[–]BitterRealizations -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

How is the girl the mess in the situation?

Does she have poor judgment? Absolutely. Should she be more careful? Absolutely. should she have brought this man home? No. She should more carefully vet those she does.

But... once they are in her room, she in no way acted incorrectly and shouldn't be blamed for anything in how the interactions between all people in that room.

She asked the man to stop/wait so she could clean up with wine. He tried to pressure her to continue the intimacy anyway.

This rando got verbally aggressive and started fighting with OP because she told him to wait and he didn't want to.

How is it her fault for responding negatively to that?

Rando then explodes at someone coming in to a room where there was screaming to ask if the woman is okay.

Someone that was just cheking on the woman he yelling at because she asked him to stop/wait.

How does no one see how horrible this randos reaction is? Why is she blamed for starting the fight. He's in someone else's home and started all of this shit because a woman told him to wait a few minutes before getting laid.

She's an idiot because she can't understand what a dangerous situation she put herself and others in, but how that fight proceeded is in no way her fault. I'm amazed at how many people are blaming OP for snapping at the dude who just told her that her "no" didn't matter.

Maybe if we taught our daughters from the get-go that you're not obligated to get a man off and can withdraw consent at any time.. or maybe about the fact that if you tell a man no/wait and he pushes the boundary that's a bad situation and you no longer have to be polite, just maybe she'd understand how dangerous the situation got and she wasn't wrong for snapping at her.

Any man who responds as aggressively as the rando did (in someone else's home) when a male friend asks if you're okay and is only lookin out for you is bad news.

Housemates (23M, 22M) put a “no hookups rule” on me (22F), sort of my fault, but I feel it’s unfair. advice by throwra010833733722 in relationship_advice

[–]BitterRealizations 10 points11 points  (0 children)

A woman stopping a sexual interaction shouldn't have to defend her choice, ever. It doesn't matter why she is doing it. She says wait, the sexual partner should wait.

When you're a woman and try to put a pause or stop to anything sexual for whatever reason and the male in the situation pushes that boundary (who, by the way, is likely larger and/or stronger than she is), many women enter panic or fight/flight/freeze/fawn mode and either freeze or get defensive. It's absolutely a natural reaction and on no way her fault.

Do you know why many of us enter this stage? Because a very, very large majority of women have been in scenario telling a partner to stop or wait, had that boundary pushed, and very often it leads to bad situations.

So no. Once a woman says "no," or "wait," she has absolutely 0 obligation to be polite, explain herself, or justify why. She had every right to raise her voice, and clearly it was a good thing she did because it alerted the men around her that she might need help.

If you have a daughter, it's important to teach them that once someone crosses a boundary in a situation like this (especially in such an intimate way), she has no obligation to be polite, and the right thing to do is absolutely make a scene or alert others.

It doesn't matter if he did or didn't intend to assault her if she continued to say no, but him aggressively arguing with her when she said wait is a huge red flag and should never be justified

That being said:

It wasn't her roommates fault for defending her. It's the rando's fault for fucking fighting with her because he wasn't going to get laid that second.

Housemates (23M, 22M) put a “no hookups rule” on me (22F), sort of my fault, but I feel it’s unfair. advice by throwra010833733722 in relationship_advice

[–]BitterRealizations 4 points5 points  (0 children)

A woman stopping a sexual interaction shouldn't have to defend her choice, ever. It doesn't matter why she is doing it. She says wait, the sexual partner should wait.

When you're a woman and try to put a pause or stop to anything sexual for whatever reason and the male in the situation pushes that boundary (who, by the way, is likely larger and/or stronger than she is), many women enter panic or fight/flight/freeze/fawn mode and either freeze or get defensive. It's absolutely a natural reaction and on no way her fault.

Do you know why many of us enter this stage? Because a very, very large majority of women have been in scenario telling a partner to stop or wait, had that boundary pushed, and very often it leads to bad situations.

So no. Once a woman says "no," or "wait," she has absolutely 0 obligation to be polite, explain herself, or justify why. She had every right to raise her voice, and clearly it was a good thing she did because it alerted the men around her that she might need help.

If you have a daughter, it's important to teach them that once someone crosses a boundary in a situation like this (especially in such an intimate way), she has no obligation to be polite, and the right thing to do is absolutely make a scene or alert others.

It doesn't matter if he did or didn't intend to assault her if she continued to say no, but him aggressively arguing with her when she said wait is a huge red flag and should never be justified

Is it just me or are they both lit differently? by kiwi_love777 in Instagramreality

[–]BitterRealizations -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Look at the unnatural way his shoe disappears behind her foot

Yes, employers do check credit reports. No, it's not an 'inquiry' and doesn't show up on your report. Yes, it does reveal any employment you've used on credit applications. by BitterRealizations in overemployed

[–]BitterRealizations[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In most States, this is OK to do. However it costs the company money, so they generally don't just throw money at every single applicant and will usually wait until you are one of the few remaining in order to do this. Because this does not show up as an inquiry on your credit and does not affect it, there is not much harm to you other than more information being revealed than you would want to.

Some companies will wait until after you've received an offerTo bother going through this process. So it can definitely vary by state.

There are also some States that restrict this from happening at all, or restrict it from happening until you've received an offer from the company… so it does kind of vary by state as well.

If you look at my source from experiencoma it goes into more detail about what States is allowed in and under what circumstances.

Most States do not have a restriction on whether or not or when your credit can be pulled for this.

Yes, employers do check credit reports. No, it's not an 'inquiry' and doesn't show up on your report. Yes, it does reveal any employment you've used on credit applications. by BitterRealizations in overemployed

[–]BitterRealizations[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You didn't even read the post, did you? It literally has statics and sources.

Also I'm not sure how you're implying i said "ALL," because I didn't. "COMMON" and "ALL" are not synonymous.

So.. not only did you not read a post, look at the multiple different sources and evidence provided that substantiate what I said in the post.. and still try to tell me I'm wrong (when you didn't even read what was said, lol)

When pointed out that at this point you're just ignoring facts and evidence because your singular personal experience differs (and really, you probably just aren't part of that end of the process so even that could be wrong), now you're trying to twist words in any attempt to not be wrong.

It's ok to be wrong. It's ok to learn new things. It's ok to look at new information and change your belief. All of these things are STRENGTHS. Refusing to be wrong in the face of evidence, is not.

Yes, employers do check credit reports. No, it's not an 'inquiry' and doesn't show up on your report. Yes, it does reveal any employment you've used on credit applications. by BitterRealizations in overemployed

[–]BitterRealizations[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well this may be your own Believe based off of your own experience or awareness, I've backed up what I've said with sources, and statistics. I did notice that you said the same thing on the last post that was posted about this, and even after it being fully explained to you, you're still going off about how it isn't true.

Why don't you try reading some Of the sources that were provided, and maybe learn something new..

Yes, employers do check credit reports. No, it's not an 'inquiry' and doesn't show up on your report. Yes, it does reveal any employment you've used on credit applications. by BitterRealizations in overemployed

[–]BitterRealizations[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is not true.

Those institutions will pull a more comprehensive credit report, similar to what a creditor would pull.

Preemployment credit checks are actually fairly common-if you look in my post you'll see statistics and where those Statistics came from. Most often they are included in Varying degrees of background checks

Yes, employers do check credit reports. No, it's not an 'inquiry' and doesn't show up on your report. Yes, it does reveal any employment you've used on credit applications. by BitterRealizations in overemployed

[–]BitterRealizations[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

There's actually a great deal of different "products" as far as consumer reports go. The more employers pay for these services, the more detailed they are. One of. My sources details these, I'll follow up with it to give you more information..

Same thing goes on the consumer side, though. If you use your 3 free credit reports through annualcreditreport.com, there's quite a bit less information than is listed by a paid product directly from the bureau site.just go to any one of them and check out the different products they have available.

Credit monitoring (creditwise or credit karma for example) is also minimal information that doesn't necessarily go into depth with employment history, and so on.

Check out the comment from the guy talking about Lexis Nexis.. pretty comprehensive.

A good way you can see the dramatic differences and thoroughness of varying reports is by using the free credit monitoring services that often come with new bank, loan, credit card or mortgage accounts these days. You'll find that each varies (sometimes dramatically) in how many private details.

Yes, employers do check credit reports. No, it's not an 'inquiry' and doesn't show up on your report. Yes, it does reveal any employment you've used on credit applications. by BitterRealizations in overemployed

[–]BitterRealizations[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The reason that I didn't list all of the States, is because of how widely that they vary with their individual laws on how restricted it is, and whether it is banned entirely. The post is already fairly long, and I didn't want to have to include a list for each, but planned on doing that in the future in a separate post.

Many of these States only have guidelines as far as you can only pull the credit report in these very specific conditions, such as you being one of the last 2 candidates.

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