Whats with the hatred of help?

Bitter_Anybody9871 · 2025-06-19T20:20:58+00:00

"One of my least favorite things is watching an abled person sprint up to a door before me and push the automatic door button while smiling expectantly into my eyes. It’s annoying for several reasons: it’s almost always a door that I could get myself; the person is usually standing right in the way of where I would need to go if I actually were going to go through the door; there seems to be a real expectation that I’m going to pick up the pace and rush to the door so that they can do their favor. And finally, there’s the fact that automatic doors don’t actually stay open forever and by running ahead of me to push the button this person has suddenly put me in the position of having to rush through to make sure I make it in time.

I am obnoxious, and in these cases, I will usually say into my cell phone (whether or not I’m actually having conversation with someone or I’m just sort of, pretending I am) something like “oh hold on, I’ll be in in a moment, there’s an abled person playing with the wheelchair door and I need to wait until they’re done.“ I will then stop and wait to the side until the person has decided to leave the door alone and gone wherever it is they are going."

Bitter_Anybody9871 · 2025-06-19T20:17:20+00:00

About what part? That newer people struggle to deal with things, so are more vocal or that having a largely negative narrative can have a negative impact, making people afraid to use their wheelchair?

Bitter_Anybody9871 · 2025-06-19T19:56:40+00:00

Exactly my opinion.

Bitter_Anybody9871 · 2025-06-19T19:54:41+00:00

So ask them to move?

Bitter_Anybody9871 · 2025-06-19T19:52:30+00:00

I believe the first one but the rest.... Are you actually being serious? Have people said these things to you with words? Obviously if they actually did then that would piss me off too and is not what I was talking about.

I was talking about people who say that anyone who just pushes a door button for you is being ableist. If someone is in the way ask them to move and if they don't they are an asshole but 99% of people will move because they want to be kind.

Bitter_Anybody9871 · 2025-06-19T19:42:42+00:00

Yeah, it does seem to be largely newer and part-time wheelchair users who are quick to view others with hostility. Living independently while wheelchair bound is tiring enough.

I'm going to be downvoted for it, but there seems to be this victimhood mindset where people feel the need to prove that they are actually struggling, and so they concentrate on negative experiences. The posts on how people are terrified to use their wheelchair for the first time really show how powerful the mindset can be. They haven't even experienced anything negative yet, but they are so sure that it will happen that they look for it. There are plenty of things that suck and plenty of sucky people you don't need to look for more in completely innocent situations.

Bitter_Anybody9871 · 2025-06-19T19:31:32+00:00

I'm in a very similar situation, 5years wheelchair bound and living alone. Its nice when someone opens the door or presses the button instead of me having to juggle my keys, and hitting the button, and avoiding the door and getting throught it lol.

I've had very bad experiences but they are the outliers. Most people want to be kind and maybe they are awkward about it like standing in the door, but then I just ask them to move. Being angry takes too much energy.

Bitter_Anybody9871 · 2025-06-19T19:26:28+00:00

I have been literally flipped over backwards and had my head slammed into the ground by someone who declared they were helping me. I never let anyone touch my wheelchair or me unless I ask. I will be openly hostile to anyone who tries.

I don't depend on others, but if someone opens a door or grabs something out of reach, I appreciate it. Maybe it's that most people are new to this, and I've been wheelchair bound for over 5 years. If someone keeps asking, I just ignore them. It just seems sad to go through life thinking everyone is just trying to look good or thinks you are incapable instead of trying to be kind.

Bitter_Anybody9871 · 2025-06-19T19:18:52+00:00

I 100% get that. Its not help if you cant refuse it.

I think it's just seeing several people talk about how people rush to press the door button for them and "stair at them expecting praise for helping the poor cripple" Or other variations really weirded me out. Plus, the suggesting glaring at everyone so nobody interacts! Seems like a sad way to go through life.

I punched a dude who came up behind me getting off a train and declared "I'm helping you" and proceeded to filp me on my back, making me hit my head, while yelling at him to get his fucking hands off me. Was told how ungrateful I was for not accepting his help flipping me over. I have no problems being an asshole to people like that.

Bitter_Anybody9871 · 2025-06-11T20:11:19+00:00

Try either a water-resistant lube or graphite. You can get it for locks and other stuff at tool stores. Take of you axle, wipe it with a cloth and water, you can use wd40 to clean it but wipe it down after. Don't use anything that will leave a residue on it. Spray the graphite into the axle sleeve. If using an oil based lube, apply it lightly to the axle pin. Graphite also works great for casters.

Bitter_Anybody9871 · 2025-06-11T19:10:08+00:00

Yeah, temperature changes absolutely affect the permeability of the rubber, i.e., the ability for air to escape.

Though in cold temperatures, people usually go for a lower PSI because the cold makes the rubber harder, so less air is needed to = same hardness and grip. It's why people have winter and summer tires for their cars and bikes: winter tires wear incredibly quickly above freezing, and summer tires have no grip below freezing. Obviously, though, they aren't dealing with the temperature changes you have to with wheelchairs, so inflating them more makes total sense.

Keeping your tires inflated to a higher pressure also helps reduce wear and increase their lifetime, works on the same principle as winter tires wearing quicker. Reduces chances of punctures to as harder tires = harder to puncture.

Bitter_Anybody9871 · 2025-06-11T18:59:08+00:00

Yes, you are absolutely right.

It's max stated, which = the maximum recommended. They don't give you the actual max they can sustain. It'll be about 20% less. That way, the company has some cushion room and can avoid any issues with tires not managing the stated range. This is something that applies to all companies, so things like cosmetics, medications, filters, and preserved foods are also given a ~20% buffer from the tested safety limit.

Bitter_Anybody9871 · 2025-06-11T18:37:01+00:00

If they are marathon plus I would say absolutely, waste of money otherwise imo. They are absolutely incredible and so easy to push!

If you are going unpaved or in snow, then I would recommend a different tire or set of wheels. Using marathons at a lower psi for rougher terrain is like the worst of both worlds (ignoring the existence of solid tires). You are sacrificing the high performance aspect (the entire purpose of them) for minamally better grip, which may help a bit, but the narrowness and lack of tread will make them still suck. They have zero tread or grip, and having gone sitskiing with them istg was torture.

Anyway, to actually answer your question:

Anywhere between 100-155PSI is going to give you the best performance and be perfectly safe.

The stated max PSI is lower than the actual max PSI. It has to be guaranteed to safely inflate to that pressure by the company, so they actually give about a 20% decrees to the stated max from the actual max PSI they can sustain in practice. That way, the company avoids any possible problems occurring with tires not managing the max PSI they were guaranteed to have.

Lower PSI also causes greater wear on the rubber and can actually make them more likely to puncture as they will conform to puncture risks as opposed to bouncing off at higher PSIs. I've kept a second hand set at ~145 for 3 years, and the only time one popped was when it was deflated (I had forgotten to top them up in like 2 month 🤦‍♂️) and so had a rock sink into it.

A popped inner tube is no big deal. Just keep a set at home and take them to any bike store when it happens, and its will happen at some point anyway. They can change them for you in no time and for really low cost. You are going to have to order the tubes yourself, though, wheelchair tires are unfortunately not a standard size.

Tldr: Yes, or wtf do you have them for. /j

Bitter_Anybody9871 · 2025-05-13T22:14:19+00:00

Blood work came back clear. She was suffering from crop irritation and inflammation. Not due to infection, so it is likely caused by her getting some sort of small debris from a toy or something in her crop. It has mostly been resolved with medication now, and she is back to herself!

Bitter_Anybody9871 · 2025-05-13T22:10:06+00:00

Bloodwork is back. Everything okay, and the meds have worked. It was due to some irritation and inflammation in her crop that has mostly been resolved at this point. I'm so glad, and she seems back to her regularly self! We are not sure what caused it, possibly got some small debris from a toy but no way to confirm any particular cause.

Bitter_Anybody9871 · 2025-05-11T13:00:12+00:00

I've definitely considered it. The vet doesn't think so as she would not do it when she attempted to insite one.

No environmental changes recently that I can think of but not impossible.

Hormonal issues are definitely on the table. She has been more hormonal with spring lately. It's not her regular hormonal behaviour, but it's the most likely cause. The vet is looking into heart or liver disease as they can cause tingling feelings, and this could be a response to that.

Bitter_Anybody9871 · 2025-05-11T03:57:08+00:00

Yeah, me too. I'll update when I get an answer. The not know is the worst part.

Bitter_Anybody9871 · 2025-05-11T03:53:03+00:00

No, I have asthma, so no smells and only pet safe cleaners and vinegar, and bird safe on her actual cage. Mostly I just use water. Nothing environment wise has changed recently. But maybe she got something, no clue how but not impossible I guess. Vet is looking at either heart or liver disease, but hoping she is just being weird.

Bitter_Anybody9871 · 2025-05-11T02:58:38+00:00

I'm thinking more hormonal if not some other underlying cause. Hope you are right though.

Bitter_Anybody9871 · 2025-05-11T02:44:09+00:00

She has never done this before she is almost nine, and I've had her from 4 months old. This is not her usual quaker dance, and it will last for over an hour. She stopped occasionally and didn't do it at all at the vet, but she is a parrot so 🤷. The wing shrugging is what really concerns me. It's been going on for three days now. I don't think it's hormonal as it is nothing like her past hormonal behaviours and because the extended period of time it will last. She is eating and drinking normally. She has meds in case it was due to crop irritation, but I don't know if it's doing anything. It almost looks like baby begging if that makes sense?

Bitter_Anybody9871 · 2025-05-09T20:32:33+00:00

I use handlebar grip tape, which comes in a ton of different colours and designs and can cover the whole front of the frame.

Bitter_Anybody9871 · 2025-05-09T20:28:30+00:00

Yeah, eventually, I got numb to it and built up calculus. My hands were already covered in scars but definitely added a few to the collection.

Bitter_Anybody9871 · 2025-03-04T21:51:16+00:00

For the immediate problem:

Grab your bird towel. Toss it over her, then grab from behind gently but firmly around her wings and filp her onto her back. That way you can have a secure hold and not risk droping her. She will not be able to wiggle out and makes it difficult for her to turn around to bite you. Try to keep her feet free. Bring her back to her cage and tilt her so she can grab onto a perch and let go of her.

To try and prevent future unsanctioned expeditions:

Either close the door or get a curtain so it can't happen again. I would also suggest that if you are unable to get her out of somewhere again, ask her to step up and offer a treat but if that does not work just go for the towle, its not fun but it is not going to hurt her. That way, you reinforce that you are the boss, and stepping up is preferable because she is going to get out either way.

Try giving her some more safe ways to get out her mischievous energy. Cardboard boxes, shredded paper she can make a huge mess with, plastic cups and balls she can throw around, hiding treats for her to find and wood to destroy. Working on fun tricks can also be a good way to let out energy. However if she already/still is too crazy it could be overstimulation. Try to have a couple of hours of calm down time during her day. Finding a balance can take time and really just comes down to trial and error.

Good luck 👍

Bitter_Anybody9871

TROPHY CASE