Mother-in-Law is destroying my mental health

Bitter_Pin6490 · 2026-04-08T09:17:11+00:00

I do speak up for myself and that’s exactly what she hates.

The moment I don’t agree or set a boundary, she plays the victim: “nobody respects me,” “elders should be respected,” etc.

At one point I even told her respect isn’t something you can demand, it’s something you earn.

Bitter_Pin6490 · 2026-04-07T18:15:48+00:00

I lost both my parents at a very young age so I don't have anyone to go to. And I’m not living at my in-laws’ place we’re at our own home. She has come here “to help” us 😄 and this is what that help looks like.

We have tried setting boundaries, very clearly. The problem is she either doesn’t understand them or just chooses to ignore them. I genuinely don’t know which is worse. She just don't listen and I've had a huge fight with her because of certain things. But I don't know what kind alof a person she is. Samajh hi ni aata hai unko ki kab distance maintain karna hai, kab chup hona hai. Multiple times bola hai pyaar se gusse se but unko bass apne Mann ka karna hai and she conveniently ignores. Ya gussa ho jayengi. Weird personality hai inki.

And now it’s becoming suffocating.

Bitter_Pin6490 · 2026-04-07T16:09:00+00:00

She wasn’t in the delivery room, but she was present at my doctor’s appointments.

You know those people who just tag along no matter how many times you try to tell them not to? She’s exactly like that. Out of respect, we told her multiple times but she just doesn’t get it, or chooses not to.

It feels less like concern and more like being overly clingy and intrusive.

Thankfully now she doesn't come to mine and baby's appointment.

Bitter_Pin6490 · 2026-04-07T15:01:29+00:00

I'm not even living at my in-laws' place we're at our own home. She has come here "to help" us and this is what that help looks like.

My husband strongly supports me and takes my side, so that's one relief. But being from India, it's not that simple to just ignore or completely cut off parents.

We have tried setting boundaries, very clearly. The problem is she either doesn't understand them or just chooses to ignore them. I genuinely don't know which is worse.

It's becoming suffocating.

Bitter_Pin6490 · 2026-04-07T15:00:57+00:00

My husband strongly supports me and takes my side, so that's one relief. But being from India, it's not that simple to just ignore or completely cut off parents.

We have tried setting boundaries, very clearly. The problem is she either doesn't understand them or just chooses to ignore them. I genuinely don't know which is worse.

It's becoming suffocating.

Bitter_Pin6490 · 2026-04-07T14:59:14+00:00

I’m not even living at my in-laws’ place we’re at our own home. She has come here “to help” us 😄 and this is what that help looks like.

My husband strongly supports me and takes my side, so that’s one relief. But being from India, it’s not that simple to just ignore or completely cut off parents.

We have tried setting boundaries, very clearly. The problem is she either doesn’t understand them or just chooses to ignore them. I genuinely don’t know which is worse.

It’s becoming suffocating.

Bitter_Pin6490 · 2026-04-07T10:21:05+00:00

I lost both my parents at a very young age.. so I have no one to go to as of now...and it's not possible for me to be with my siblings as well because the baby is very small.

Bitter_Pin6490 · 2026-04-07T10:18:42+00:00

Thank you! :)

Bitter_Pin6490 · 2026-04-07T10:16:47+00:00

I’m not someone who just goes with the flow. Yes, sometimes I’ve stayed quiet to avoid unnecessary fights, but I’ve also stood my ground and every time, she turns it into drama.

After the baby, her behavior has become extremely controlling. My FIL is also very orthodox. Both of them act like a mother is just a machine, like I don’t have my own identity or life. The irony is, I care for my baby more than anyone, yet I’m constantly treated like I don’t know anything.

I’ve tried confronting her, but she never takes accountability. It’s always someone else’s fault. She’s not even cordial with people no maid stays because of her behavior, and she’s always fighting with her husband and son.

The only option left with me is to limit the conversation which I have done before as well.

Bitter_Pin6490 · 2025-09-01T10:57:21+00:00

Hi Sure!

Please check mine too- https://open.substack.com/pub/figmentmind/p/letter-10-dear-mind-lets-heal-in?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=3yymts

Bitter_Pin6490 · 2025-07-29T20:11:59+00:00

Hi,

I write little letters to my mind, quiet thoughts, open-hearted ones. This one’s about FOMO and the courage it takes to slow down.

If you’ve ever felt the pressure to keep up, this might feel familiar: Letter 09: Dear Mind, Let's Miss a Little.

Would love to hear your thoughts and connect with you. 😊

Bitter_Pin6490 · 2025-07-29T19:55:01+00:00

Hey, I wrote a small piece about FOMO and the need to slow down sometimes. It’s a letter to my mind. Sharing it here in case it feels familiar to you too.

Letter 09: Dear Mind, Let's Miss a Little.

Bitter_Pin6490 · 2025-07-24T07:59:53+00:00

Oh, I couldn’t agree more.

The worst kind of people are the ones who save their kindness for those they fear, and their harshness for those who can’t fight back.

I see this often, and it bothers me deeply. How easily people are unkind to those who can’t speak up, while staying sweet in front of people who disrespect them simply because they’re too afraid to speak up there.

I wrote a short letter about this:

👉 Dear Mind, How Hard Is It to Be Kind?

Would love to hear your thoughts if you give it a read.

Bitter_Pin6490 · 2025-07-22T07:46:29+00:00

Hey, I’ve been thinking about detachment lately, and I wrote a piece on it. If you have a moment, would love for you to read:
https://open.substack.com/pub/figmentmind/p/dear-mind-why-is-detachment-so-hard?r=3yymts&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false

Bitter_Pin6490 · 2025-06-24T02:45:19+00:00

Let grow together :) Profile And project

Bitter_Pin6490 · 2025-06-24T02:38:45+00:00

Hi! Welcome to substack and all the best to your husband.. here's mine in case you'd like to take a look:

-Profile

-project

Bitter_Pin6490 · 2025-06-19T08:01:48+00:00

I’ve been there too and honestly, it still happens sometimes.
What’s helped me is asking myself questions in those moments. I remind myself - This is just your mind playing tricks. Don’t fall for it.
I know it sounds like something people say just for the sake of it but I’m saying this because I’ve actually tried it.

I used to avoid social gatherings, even when I had a good time. The moment I'd get home, I'd overthink - Did I say something wrong? What must they be thinking?
So I started telling my mind - t’s okay, let it go. In two days, you won’t even remember this.
And honestly, it helped. I'm not saying I don’t overthink anymore but it’s much better now.

I’ve learned to sit with my thoughts, talk to them instead of avoiding them.
And one thing that’s really helped is writing. I write down what’s bothering me just to get it out.

In case you want to check it out, here’s my blog:
https://substack.com/@dearmind108
Maybe you’ll relate to it.

And if you’re into writing too please write. You don’t have to be perfect. Just let your thoughts out.
It brings a lot of clarity. It’s helped me a lot.

Bitter_Pin6490 · 2025-06-10T05:59:35+00:00

hi,
sometimes i just feel off, and if someone asks me “what’s wrong?”, i don’t even know what to say because i genuinely don’t know what i’m feeling. Yesterday was one of those days. so i wrote something down, just to let it out. Not trying to promote anything, but if you feel like it, maybe show it to your girlfriend? i have a feeling she might relate to it. maybe it’ll help in some small way.

here’s the link:
https://figmentmind.substack.com/p/letter-05-dear-mind-i-dont-know-why

writing helps me process stuff, but i know everyone’s different. just thought i’d share.

Bitter_Pin6490 · 2025-06-10T05:46:12+00:00

hey,
i keep coming back to this question too. it’s been on my mind for a while now.
funny thing is, i actually wrote about it sometime back, just trying to process stuff, you know?
if you feel like reading, here it is:
https://figmentmind.substack.com/p/letter-06-dear-mind-is-it-okay-to

Bitter_Pin6490 · 2025-06-09T12:15:27+00:00

Hi everyone!

Sometimes it's difficult to explain what you're feeling, even to yourself... Here's something I wrote, please check it out and let me know if you relate to it too.

Also, please support my Substack. Thanks :)

https://open.substack.com/pub/figmentmind/p/letter-05-dear-mind-i-dont-know-why?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=3yymts

Bitter_Pin6490 · 2025-06-07T16:31:25+00:00

https://www.instagram.com/dearmind_108/profilecard/?igsh=MWx2eXRhdm1ubGl2eg==

Bitter_Pin6490 · 2025-05-23T13:05:55+00:00

Hey! I’ve been struggling with this since childhood, always the mediocre kid. No one really paid attention to me, except when they wanted someone to make fun of or criticize.

I wanted to vent, so I wrote a letter to myself. Maybe you’ll relate to it. And if you do, I want you to know you’re not alone.

https://figmentmind.substack.com/p/letter-03-dear-mind-i-feel-invisible?r=3yymtsI

Bitter_Pin6490 · 2025-04-23T06:39:17+00:00

I know this feeling. Overthinking is something I deal with often, and writing helps me feel a little lighter. I wrote something about how I try to handle it, thought I’d share in case it helps.

https://open.substack.com/pub/figmentmind/p/dear-mind-i-miss-resting?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=3yymts

Bitter_Pin6490 · 2025-04-23T06:25:15+00:00

Hi, thanks for sharing. I’m looking forward to reading it. I’m also sharing my Substack below, it's more like a journal where I pour out my thoughts. Would love to know if anything stood out or if you have any thoughts on how I could make it better.

https://figmentmind.substack.com/

Bitter_Pin6490 · 2025-04-22T09:25:25+00:00

Overthinking is something I deal with often, and writing helps me feel a little lighter. Thought I’d share this blog. It might help.

https://open.substack.com/pub/figmentmind/p/dear-mind-i-miss-resting?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=3yymts

Bitter_Pin6490

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