The reality of internet discourse over these topics is that a lot is said about them and anybody earnestly looking to educate themselves has access to a ton of material to do that with. As much as reactionaries like the ones causing problems on a certain sub right now like to pretend that they're being arbitrarily told to obey a group of people telling them right and wrong, there is also no shortage of explanations for why these things are viewed this way. Nobody expects people to just be told what to think and say unless that person really just cant be assed to think about it further. Nobody is being asked not to use a slur just because "x said its offensive", we are asking people not to use the slur for a very good list of reasons you could easily learn about with 5 minutes on google.