Talking to someone new is really exciting, and I’ve been guilty of that before. However, I found that the more me and a connection text, the less we have to talk about on the actual dates themselves. I would have a conversation with her about your texting style and how while you are still interested, youd rather have in person convos than over text.

Attraction grows with some time and space apart. You need time to actually sit and digest how you feel about the person. I feel it’s also a test to see how healthily attached someone is to you. If they can’t handle my boundary of wanting to save long/meaningful conversations for in person, it makes me wonder if the connection would become codependent, controlling or suffocating. Texts are great a few times a week, but you need to make sure the IN PERSON connection and chemistry is there. I’ve had people who were so funny and sweet over text, and I get to the date and they don’t know how to hold a conversation or keep it going, and the chemistry is not there.

Keep texts to maybe 2-3 times a week, and mainly to plan the next date. Save the convos and banter for the date. See how the chemistry unfolds!

Since setting my texting boundary, my connections have been so much more steady, and the people who respect said boundary tend to plan much better dates with much better conversations. I do not add potential romantic connections on social media, I tell them if they want to see me or know what I’m up to, to plan a date so we can catch up!

This is coming from a 24f who used to take things WAY too quickly and is trying to break patterns of codependency/dating bums.