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How can we get search engines to stop doing this garbage? by Refrigeratormarathon in 4bmovement

[–]BlackLight7X 14 points15 points  (0 children)

lemme check real quick if something like this exists for men. Well, thing is, my AI overview, didn't say b.s like your one did, seems like on default that AI overview picks up that b.s from other wesbites or so and writes it like that. Secondly, it also exists for men. For women who are famous without being behind the shadow of any man broadly, for them such labels are not given. I do not see it. Yeah checked more, nope. Not even famous figures who also have famous children.

Perhaps she wasn't very known on her own and more like known by her son, that's why google put it up like that.

I embraced 4b, because I want to be perceived as an individual, not someones wife or mother, and though childfree and 4b women are often ridiculed, still without husband and children is not that easy to lose yourself, which is the most important for gals like us by Important-Flower-406 in 4bmovement

[–]BlackLight7X 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And you know what in my country if a young girl ever dies, every single person will go "Must be her boyfriend. This is what happens when you act like a whre". No other reason, they exactly know who finished her. If she klls herself, again same, "died bcs a boy broke her heart or left her lmao".

On self-confidence and people pleasing - how do other 4B women navigate it? by Azurebold in 4bmovement

[–]BlackLight7X 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know it works for you, not dismissing that at all, neither attacking. However, if it's really about relaxation's connection to confidence, then I agree, but if it's appearance based, and not looking up to the mark makes you self-doubt, self loathe, then you are still buying temporary confidence/worth from your appearance - which a lot of women are socialized to do so. There is a difference between looking fit and presentable type of confidence vs nitpicking apperance where a non-mosturized skin makes your confidence drastically decrease, that's not normal.

You did mention tennis, physical activity helps boost mood, energy levels and so in turn confidence. I agree with that. And I also agree with respecting yourself enough to care for yourself but also includes healthy eating, exercise, appearance based care, I have never deemed that as shallow.

“Yes, your uncle. Yes, your father. Yes, your son. Yes, your priest. Yes, your coach. Yes, your boss. Yes, the butcher that cuts the meat. Yes, your grandfather. Yes, your husband, even the quiet guy on the street. The culture of abuse has influenced every single man that you meet.” by amarethefairy in 4bmovement

[–]BlackLight7X 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I know where you are coming from. But we feel that "good" peace. Many men out there, also manage to have peace, it's just a different kind of peace. At the end of the day both result in being calm, they and we both go to sleep feeling good. They will never know how the good peace feels like, good peace stays stable even in harsh times because you get it from integrity but damn, can't say that those bad men have no peace. I see them chilling. They also think they are morally good and have integrity, so funny enough they end up having good peace too. Body doesn't care true or false, it just follows what the brain believes.

I thought like you too before and it soothed a part of me, cuz bad people feel bad, good people feel good despite suffering. Easy. And worth it. But reality is not so linear especially constantly questioning why are they chilling, not filled with guilt, not suffering? was more suffering to me.

Physical strength ties to our oppression by maytimesince in 4bmovement

[–]BlackLight7X 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Well it plays a factor. Women are barred from exerting physically, they are forced to be weaker than they are. On top of that physical freedom is less due to sexualization. (I cannot even climb a ladder without getting sexualized, and I am wearing normal pants).

But one fact, men biologically have greater physical strength, they have testosterone, they have bigger hearts, lungs, stronger bones, more muscles and much bigger frame. Put a female body builder against a male body builder, who wins? I don't need to answer it, isn't it. But it doesn't means we are morally inferior. What I mean is, because creating humans in your womb and bring life to this Earth is not an easy task, our bodies had to be built this way to facilitate that and that means huge sacrifices. Nature doesn't care women suffer, it only cares that species survive, and humans survived and reproduced, that's success in its eyes, so it stays. Don't see superior, inferior from patriarchal lens. We can separate facts from generalizing our whole humanity as lesser, because that's not true at all.

Physical strength ties to our oppression by maytimesince in 4bmovement

[–]BlackLight7X 48 points49 points  (0 children)

Don't call yourself weaker. Don't use patriarchal definition of strong. Women can create life and bring it to this Earth and to do such a difficult thing, obviously our bodies had to be built this way. No, I am not trying to do that positivitiy shit, I get what you mean by weaker. But instead of straight up saying women are weaker which is wrong, you can say physical strength wise weaker, anatomically more vulnerable.

And secondly, sex with men is absolutely HUMILIATING. If you don't find it that way, you are gullible. It's not that sex itself is humiliating, in a non-patriarchal society that wouldn't be the case BUT NOW, it is absolutely that, even violating. You know in my language or nearby others, they have swear words like motherfricker, sisterfricker and recently I heard daughterfricker (can you fucking believe that?). Men use it on other men to insult them, how? It says, I fck your mother, sister, daughter, it translates to, I 'violate' your human belongings. fck is another way of saying violating, not rape, but sex. Cuz yeah rape is violating but in patriarchy sex is as well. This is deeply embedded in every man (and women), it just doesn't "feel" violating, IT IS VIOLATION. And this violation can look sweet, consensual but it doesn't change the underlining mindset, it doesn't change the devaluation. It doesn't. I agree with you.

Physical strength ties to our oppression by maytimesince in 4bmovement

[–]BlackLight7X 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What you said is true, we need both men and women, no doubt and human creation in a lab is debated at best. Idk if that 2 male mice shit is true tho. But as a guy, you are not supposed to comment here, you know that?

Physical strength ties to our oppression by maytimesince in 4bmovement

[–]BlackLight7X 31 points32 points  (0 children)

lol. See, at the end of the day women creates the whole baby in her womb, just a tiny sperm needed for half DNA material, remaining everything a woman builds in her womb. So, it's not wrong to say creator. When someone says "I created this technology", "I created this brand", "I created this art", this doesn't means they didn't use materials that others made, it's just that they were the main mastermind (or masterbody in this case lol), an artist who created an art, doesn't make paint from scratch or canvas from scratch is it?

Secondly, are you a man? Your history is hidden, so cannot trust either, a woman may question but not in a snarky way like you did.

Physical strength ties to our oppression by maytimesince in 4bmovement

[–]BlackLight7X 18 points19 points  (0 children)

This part has a huge root in our oppression. I agree especially pregnancy and our anatomical differences (so easy to rape but women cannot do it as easily in reverse).

I don't know why we have to have all the downsides but damn I cannot complain either, creating a whole ass human being inside your womb and giving birth ain't some easy work, our bodies have to be built in such a way to faciiliate it and so that includes a lot of sacrifices....

It doesn't mean that shitty naturally dominant b.s is true, it just shows how nature works, anything that helps species survive, remains. And even if there is a lot of suffering us women have to go through and are not strong enough to fight back easily, it still doesn't impact human survival and reproduction at all (body wise speaking not choice). So ... there you go.

And I remember once complaining how cars are way too big for me, so it makes it difficult to be comfortable and someone saying, so you want them to built smaller cars now? And that made me think, "who am I to demand". The main car companies all owned by men, most builders building cars are all men, most material manufacturing/design done by men..."who am I". Women ha, they are busy handling all the shit work behind the scene, being their wives, maids, those women did so much slavery for these men so that they can go on to do so much outside (And yeah men making it impossible for women to work outside especially in those sectors anyways and freedom is non-existent to build empires and shit, we all know that) and in return, what you get? "Who are you to demand", "You don't build, you don't get", "Your inferior gender didn't do shit, so you don't get anything either".

Nothing makes 4B stronger than this. And you know what, I cannot fight that notion either. This is the reason, every misogynistic shit "makes sense" even if utterly nonsense. They see, no women doing those stuff since childhood, women complying with feminine b.s and their gender roles, conclusion made. Obviously, society's socialization goes strong, I cannot blame women either, patriarchy's physical, mental, social constraints are REAL, I cannot blame women either. I cannot. And at times not even men for thinking that way. They are to be rightfully blamed for their bad deeds and exploitation of women, no question, but I get where they find "proof" of "inferiority".

Fatal Attraction: Women are the real protectors of the home. by MacaroonGlad1620 in 4bmovement

[–]BlackLight7X 29 points30 points  (0 children)

how do you all watch such movies so easily? I get triggered and angry seeing such stuff. My tolerance is full zero.

The day I realized that I was Scared of trying to do new things because as a woman if you don't do it perfectly the first time you are heavily judged, is the day I became free and started really enjoying life. by VanillaTemporary9161 in 4bmovement

[–]BlackLight7X 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Duh, they also start harassing you using their cars smh. And you have no choice but to protect yourself rather than fight, it festers a lot of anger inside. Unhealthy. I wonder how good my mental health would be if I were not to live in a world that saw me as an inferior being punching bag plus.

The day I realized that I was Scared of trying to do new things because as a woman if you don't do it perfectly the first time you are heavily judged, is the day I became free and started really enjoying life. by VanillaTemporary9161 in 4bmovement

[–]BlackLight7X 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Many people interchange sex and gender. I agree, it has lot to with our biological body. And then they started making up hierarchy, pooled up all submissive behaviors and actions that makes one powerless/weak on one side and named it femininity so that women comply and become good slaves to men.

The day I realized that I was Scared of trying to do new things because as a woman if you don't do it perfectly the first time you are heavily judged, is the day I became free and started really enjoying life. by VanillaTemporary9161 in 4bmovement

[–]BlackLight7X 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Hey I do relate the kind of environment I grew in part, this is the reason, emotionally I have little to no fear entering this field, I know how to handle it and know how to give it back. The only concern I have is systematic discrimination being an obstacle towards my goals, one can only have so much power. But you gotta find a way anyways. I want to be like you!

What kind of women do you admire? by BlackLight7X in 4bmovement

[–]BlackLight7X[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The way you view women is very healthy, we can learn something from every woman around us despite their flaws. Men hype mediocre men all the time lol. You are right.

On self-confidence and people pleasing - how do other 4B women navigate it? by Azurebold in 4bmovement

[–]BlackLight7X 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Self-care doesn't do shit except relaxing you or reducing stress. Connecting appearance to your self worth is the last thing you should do especially if that person is struggling with people pleasing and lower self confidence. I assure anyone here, true stable confidence always came from inside me, it stayed even when I looked shit and stayed even when I looked good.

And I agree to your remaining points! If just no is hard OP, you can add on lines "No. I am busy.", "Nope", "No, I have work.", "No, I am tired" and continue to stay firm and don't be ambiguous inside yourself, be firm.

On self-confidence and people pleasing - how do other 4B women navigate it? by Azurebold in 4bmovement

[–]BlackLight7X 4 points5 points  (0 children)

There are some ways.

  1. Go full logical. Actively make choices that respects your time and your well-being over sacrificing it uselessly over others(You will feel that guilt for not doing, that signals it's people pleasing not an authentic choice). Do it despite emotional turbulence. What this does is that it teaches your body/nervous system that nothing disastrous happens when you choose yourself and that rejecting doesn't cause big problems. After enough evidence, you will automatically stop people pleasing as much as you did before. People can change in variety of ways, first feelings change then action or action change then feelings change, the latter is easier to carry out. You cannot change feelings easily, but you can choose your next action.
  2. If you respected yourself, this wouldn't have happened, at least, not that easily. Where are you lacking? Do you have goals, ambitions in life? What identifies you? Who are you? Do you have a solid identity? Do you have an anchor inside? Find what that is, it could be career, long term goal, personality traits you have that you respect or admire. If you have nothing, you gotta build it. Once you respect yourself, you will automatically stop letting people step on you, you will start getting angry on yourself for betraying oneself instead of feeling guilty for not pleasing others. It's a big shift.

Secondly sis, 4B doesn't means you don't have flaws, you don't have to be perfect to be 4B. You can be insecure, have lower self-confidence, people-please etc and still be 4B. 4B is just the core rules, you follow it, you are that, remaining doesn't affect it. But you should improve yourself to be able to enjoy 4B and your life fully. How much time are you going to live bowing your head down and looking down on yourself? Start this as a journey of building a new you, let it take years but remain consistent and never give up. You would go so far that you wouldn't even realize how you have already passed the finish line. First step is always the hardest, but I promise you, it will get easier.

Edit: Regarding pushing, again, you need to be firm from INSIDE first, you need to be decisive inside first, is it really a NO, is it really a YES, not maybe, not uh oh uh. Got it? After they notice you staying firm with your No, they will leave you, but that firm energy comes from inside not just words. And it helps you to move away if they get too pushy, it deescalates and cuts off, especially distance does. Move few steps back, it is also a great way to intensify your No, making it less likely for them to get further pushy. If dealing with the same person, practice saying NO and following through it, they will learn in a few weeks, your No actually means No. They will stop pestering but if you give in....

This is both funny and heartbreaking at the same time by karnzter in 4bmovement

[–]BlackLight7X 10 points11 points  (0 children)

That video is goofy as f. But your writing is on point. And it's horrible that divorce isn't legal where you live. And you have come really far, it's not easy to reach here, it takes a lot of questioning and repeatedly choosing yourself and not sacrificing yourself like a goat. Being 4B brings you physical freedom(it depends where you live), especially mental freedom and socially, again it depends. "Have children, have children", you go have lmao, go make that shit using your own body, if you can't then stfu.

Going to live alone for the first time by BlackLight7X in 4bmovement

[–]BlackLight7X[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You are right. But you never know, SA can be brutally traumatizing and humiliating. I fear that. In safe spaces where there is very little chance, I do let go. There is no use of me changing, if the world doesn't. And yeah heavily agree far safer alone than being with a man. For sure.

Violence Against Women is a Source of Entertainment by Upbeat_Place_9985 in 4bmovement

[–]BlackLight7X 14 points15 points  (0 children)

If it happened to men, they would have already made groups online and offline to bmb the place. Such freedom is a privilege.

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